


Bleeding Out

by h0neybee73



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy Hargrove Lives, Billy Hargrove Tries to Be a Better Person, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Friends to Lovers, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Neil Hargrove's A+ Parenting, Period Typical Attitudes, Recreational Drug Use, Redemption, Sexual Tension, Sibling Bonding, Slow Build, Soulmates, Trauma, Underage Drinking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, author's first fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:14:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 54,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24123424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/h0neybee73/pseuds/h0neybee73
Summary: Where his rage was fire, hers was ice. He was the lit match that thawed the frost in her soul and she was the arctic breeze that soothed his burns.A story about two people who bleed together, both literally and metaphorically.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Billy Hargrove/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 87





	1. Rock You Like A Hurricane

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Just gonna type a quick thanks in advance for reading. This is my first time writing fanfic and I look forward to comments and constructive feedback. I am also considering requests if anyone has any ideas (I know how this story starts and how it will end but if there's anything you want to see in the middle, let me know!). This story is going to start slow but I promise it speeds up.
> 
> I chose to write this based on my personal experience with abuse and domestic violence and I'm using Billy and my OFC as an outlet. These chapters are merely therapy sessions that I'm willing to publish. Please keep that in mind as you read.
> 
> I currently have 10 chapters written and I think we'll end somewhere between 30 and 45 (huge margin, I know). I will upload as regularly as my life allows. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> P.S. All the chapters will be song titles. It will be mostly 80s and earlier but no promises.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'A pair of black boots stuck out from the bottom of a pair of impossibly tight jeans, showing off what Julianna was certain was one of the nicest asses she’d ever seen. The figure had on a denim jacket, black bag slung over one of his broad shoulders and his hair was dirty blonde with waves styled to look effortless and messy.'
> 
> Julianna and Billy meet for the first time.

Julianna awoke with a start when her bedroom door flew open and bounced off the wall.

“Julie, **wake up**! We slept in, **again**!” Sophie screeched from the doorway, her long brown hair flying behind her as she bounded down the hallway.

Julianna’s head snapped towards the alarm clock on her bedside table; it read ‘7:45’ - school started in 15 minutes.

_Shit, shit, shit, shit._

She launched herself out of bed and straight into her bathroom. She was combing her rat’s nest of silvery blonde hair out with one hand while brushing her teeth with the other. Quickly, she pulled her hair into a red scrunchie, dabbed some concealer under her eyes, put on some tinted chapstick and ran back into her room to get changed. Julianna donned her favorite Motley Crue concert tee and tucked it into a pair of tight, high waisted acid wash jeans, secured with a black leather belt and ran downstairs toward the kitchen.

Sophie was fully dressed down to her baby blue Vans and was in the middle of rapidly buttering some toast for the two of them when Julianna arrived. The older girl didn’t even need to say anything to know her little sister was seething. Sophie hated being late.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I know. You said that last time” Sophie snapped. 

“How can’t you see that I’m doing my best, Sophie? I’m _trying_. But between school and work and cheer and making sure the house is clean and there’s dinner for us to eat, sleep kinda falls to the wayside,” Julianna’s voice was calm and even, perhaps more terrifying than if she had been screaming. “Start setting a fucking alarm for yourself if you’re so concerned.”

Her face fell and every drop of anger dissipated when she looked into Sophie’s teary eyes.

“Shit. I’m sorry. I know it’s not your fault,” came the gentle apology.

“It’s okay, you’re right,” Sophie breathed as she swiped a stray tear from her cheek.

“Are you okay?”

Sophie passed her sister a slice of toast. “Yeah, I’m fine”, she said, noting that Julianna made a point not to touch her as she accepted the food.

Julianna nodded as if she believed her, choosing to end the conversation as she struggled to get her black Doc Martens on. She grabbed her leather jacket, her bag and her keys as she and Sophie flew out the door and into her car.

The two girls sat and ate in awkward silence for a while as Julianna drove. The older girl contemplated how best to cheer her sister up.

“Am I taking you trick-or-treating tomorrow?”

“I’m twelve years old, not five, Julie. I don’t need a babysitter anymore. I’m going with The Party.” Sophie was clearly exasperated.

“I’m supposed to be making sure you’re safe, Soph.”

“And I _am_ safe. I think Jonathan is coming with us, Mrs. Byers is making him. You know, to watch out for Will.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. She mentioned it at work on Saturday. I was just double-checking”, Julianna mumbled as they pulled into the Hawkins High parking lot.

She pulled into what appeared to be the only vacant spot in the entire lot, taking note of the electric blue Camaro parked directly across from her. She admired the gorgeous car for a moment when Sophie piped up.

“You just want to make sure you’re rid of me so you can go to some stupid party.”

“No, that’s not true,” Julianna said with a laugh, pausing for a beat when Sophie shot her a look, “Okay maybe it is but I know you didn’t wanna go trick-or-treating with me anyways. Now get to class, I’ll see you after.”

“Love you! Oh, and I made you sandwiches for lunch!” Sophie called as she sprinted across the parking lot to the middle school, her prior cause of upset forgotten.

Julianna smiled to herself as she speed-walked toward the front doors. One of Sophie’s chores was to make her own lunches for school and she usually made extra for her big sister as well. She was a thoughtful kid, wise beyond her years. Julianna was infinitely proud of the little girl she’d been tasked with raising, even if she was aggravating sometimes.

\---

Julianna was nearly running to first period Geography now; she would hopefully make it before Mr. Kowalsky finished taking attendance. She was almost there when a figure rounded the corner from the adjoining hallway in front of her. They were going in the same direction and Julianna immediately slowed down to take in the sight.

A pair of black boots stuck out from the bottom of a pair of impossibly tight jeans, showing off what Julianna was certain was one of the nicest asses she’d ever seen. The figure had on a denim jacket, black bag slung over one of his broad shoulders and his hair was dirty blonde with waves styled to look effortless and messy.

By this point, Julianna was almost at her classroom but was still playing it cool to see which class the newcomer was looking for. When she saw him double-check Kowalsky’s room number and open the door, Julianna all but threw herself in after him.

“You must be Mr. William Hargrove”, Kowalsky observed. “I hope Miss Janzen isn’t getting you into trouble already…” he added with a pointed look at Julianna who was standing behind him, pretending to look guilty.

It was then that the boy turned around and Julianna froze in place. Piercing ocean blue eyes met warm forest green ones as the boy’s mouth pulled into a lewd grin, baring straight, white teeth. His smile made him look almost predatory in a way that caused her heart to speed up and a pleasant warmth to flood her body. His facial expression was a stark contrast against the babyface that wore it; angelic features painted with a well-practiced deviousness. Julianna quickly composed herself and winked at him, her own mouth stretching into what she hoped was a coy smile.

“No, not yet sir… and it’s Billy, by the way”, the new boy smirked as he turned back to Kowalsky. The confidence, no, arrogance with which he carried himself bordered on offensive yet made him no less attractive in Julianna’s eyes. His voice somehow managed to be smooth and rough at the same time, like a fine-grit sandpaper. From her peripheral vision, Julianna could see just about every girl in the class melt at the sound. She couldn’t say she blamed them.

“Noted. Now, class, I’d like to rearrange our assigned seating to make room for Billy”, Kowalsky said as he started ordering students to move so that the new addition would have a place in his standard alphabetically ordered seating arrangement. Julianna watched the girls in her class mentally calculating how close or how far they would be sitting from the gorgeous boy. _Or man?_ Sure looked like one.

Inevitably though, since no one in their class had an ‘I’ last name, Julianna and Billy were seated side by side at one of the pairs of desks by the window. She tried to focus on Kowalsky’s lesson on natural disasters but the light scent of a spicy cologne and a pair of eyes on her proved to be too distracting.

She turned to see Billy openly checking her out, the same grin from earlier growing wider when he noticed Julianna’s eyes mimicking the motion of his own; sweeping up and down his body.

Julianna was overcome by a feeling of familiarity. Where had she seen him before?

“And just what kind of trouble will you be getting me into, Janzen?” Billy purred, leaning in closer. Suddenly her previous thought was forgotten as she tried to formulate a witty enough response.

Julianna managed to smirk at him, heart racing with his proximity as she replied, “pick your poison. I’m a jack of all trades.”

“What’s your specialty?”

 _Turning boys into jello, Hargrove._ She was in her element now. This was a game she liked to play; one that she always won. Though, she knew Billy Hargrove would be a formidable opponent. Julianna was excited; most boys shrunk in her presence - either finding her too intimidating or simply bending to her will in the hopes of getting in her pants quicker. The latter was even less fun than the former. Not Billy though; he would meet every look, every comment head-on. She knew that. He wasn’t just playing her game, he was playing his own as well. A thrill shot through her.

“Oh, you know, the standard stuff. Underage drinking, illicit drug use, tardiness, sexual promiscuity…” Julianna kept her tone light and nonchalant but caught herself licking her teeth as she met his gaze. She watched with great satisfaction as the boy’s eyes darkened at her words. Her lips curled into a predatory smile. Just as he was about to reply, they were interrupted by Kowalsky’s grating voice.

“Billy, Julianna, do the two of you need a minute, or can I finish my lecture in peace?” he asked sarcastically, the annoyance in his tone obvious.

The pair of teens remained silent and turned their gazes downward, signaling that they would stop interrupting the lesson. Kowalsky was satisfied with their lack of response and continued on his tangent about hurricane survival skills. Julianna snorted quietly to herself, wondering if the female population of Hawkins had the skills to survive the hurricane sitting beside her.

 _Unlikely._ She knew his type. Rough and tumble. Takes what he wants without a second thought. Unapologetic. Reckless. He was going to do well in Hawkins, Julianna was sure.

She went back to taking notes as the blonde boy beside her doodled in the margins of his notebook while sneaking glances at her. She did her best to ignore him.

Julianna was already packed up when the bell rang to release them from class. She grabbed her backpack and went to leave, but not before turning once more toward the blue-eyed boy with a smile.

“I’ll see you around, Peaches.”

And suddenly she turned on her heel and walked out before he even had a chance to reply.


	2. Bad Moon Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The rumor mill was already pumping out the hot new gossip about the mullet-haired Californian; mostly speculation on what brought him to the quiet, unassuming town in the first place.'
> 
> Julianna and her friend Dani make some plans, and so do Tommy and Billy.

“Did you see the new kid?!”

“Did you see his car?!”

“Did you see his _ass_?!”

Julianna rolled her eyes as she waded through the halls of Hawkins High toward her third period class. It was evident that Hawkins, Indiana didn’t often see newcomers; judging by the way the high school students were whisper-yelling at each other. The rumor mill was already pumping out the hot new gossip about the mullet-haired Californian; mostly speculation on what brought him to the quiet, unassuming town in the first place. Julianna hadn’t even known he was from California until she overheard it in the hallway but now her interest in him was doubly piqued.

She arrived to English with minutes to spare and plopped herself down in her usual seat beside Dani, her best friend. Without so much as a greeting, Dani cut right to the chase.

“I’ve been hearing things, Jules… care to share with the class?”

“What things?” Julianna huffed, already knowing exactly what she meant. Gossip spread like wildfire at Hawkins High.

“I heard about a very…” she seemed to be choosing her words carefully, “ _steamy_ exchange between you and none other than Billy Hargrove in first period. I thought you were more discreet than that, woman!”

Dani wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at Julianna, who was openly laughing. Accustomed to being gossiped about, she remained unphased.

“Can you blame me? I mean, have you _seen_ the guy?!”

“Oh, I’ve seen alright. You should’ve been around to witness him pull up, music blasting, cigarette in his mouth… I think the entire town came to a halt for a few seconds when he got out of that Camaro”, Dani said in an uncharacteristically dreamy voice.

Julianna was not at all shocked to hear that Billy Hargrove was the owner of the blue Camaro she parked by this morning.

“Has Californian Adonis made you forget about how you ‘swore off boys forever’ literally a week ago? Your self-control sucks, Dani,” Julianna sighed dramatically and shot a look of mock disappointment at her friend.

“You know I never mean it! And besides, I was simply _admiring_ ,” Dani defended herself quickly. “Haven’t you already staked your claim?”

Julianna smirked to herself. “What the student body chooses to believe has nothing to do with me,” she muttered cryptically. By that time, students had filled their seats and the lesson began.

The duo sat and listened intently to the lesson but once Miss Bailey assigned group work, Dani turned to Julianna with a sigh.

“Pissed that you were late, by the way. I got stuck helping Nancy with Steve’s early admissions paper… It was a monstrosity. I love Stevie but jeez, he’s an idiot.”

“Phew!” Julianna pretended to wipe sweat from her brow. “Thank god I missed that trainwreck.”

“Actually, I suggested that another pair of eyes couldn’t hurt,” Dani looked to Julianna, mischief glinting in her eyes, “they’re expecting you at lunch. _And_ I’ll tell them you skipped out on purpose if you don’t show. I suffer, you suffer.”

“ **No!** ” Julianna nearly shouted, earning her dirty looks from her classmates. “Please don’t make me. I don’t have the patience. I’ll do anything, just not that,” the blonde pleaded with her friend.

Dani’s smile only grew as she pretended to contemplate. “How’s your stash looking, Jules?”

“Dwindling, but I’m very willing to share as long as we hide in my car.” Julianna was rushed in her reply, trying to be as generous as possible so she wouldn’t have to spend her lunch decimating her friend’s self-confidence. It’s not that Steve was _dumb_ , per se. It’s just that college probably wasn’t for him.

“You have yourself a deal, Janzen. I’ll meet you by your car,” Dani agreed as Julianna’s shoulders slumped in relief.

The two girls spent the rest of the class focusing on their assignment, enjoying the easy flow of ideas and conversation.

\---

Billy and Tommy H. were sitting in study hall together, Billy’s legs propped up on the table as he leaned back in his chair with his hands clasped behind his head. Tommy had been filling the new boy in on the school gossip, rambling on about King Steve Harrington’s departure from his throne the previous year. The student body was looking to crown new royalty and it was clear to Tommy that Billy Hargrove fit the bill. Billy, however, was growing tired of Tommy’s constant ass-kissing and interrupted him midsentence.

“So Tommyboy, where does one go to find some half-decent pot in this shithole?”

Tommy paled slightly and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck before replying. “Uh, honestly there’s no one in Hawkins who sells, we usually buy our weed from out-of-towners at parties. I’m all out”, he paused, gauging the facial expression of the short-tempered boy across from him.

Billy groaned and rubbed his face in annoyance. Tommy continued quickly, in an effort to placate him, “but I do know of someone who always has a stash and is usually willing to share. Wanna smoke at lunch?”

“Hell yeah”, came the quick reply.

“Do you have any cash on you?” Tommy asked hesitantly. Billy pulled out a five that was meant to buy his lunch and raised an eyebrow.

“She doesn’t sell, but she does take bribes”, Tommy said, answering the unspoken question. “I’m warning you now though, she’s kind of a cunt. But the weed makes up for it.”

 _'She'… interesting._ Billy noted to himself.

After study hall, Billy and Tommy walked over to a vending machine and bought a can of Coke and a Mars bar before heading into the cafeteria. Tommy looked like a meerkat, up on his toes, head darting back and forth, clearly searching for someone in the crowd of students flooding in. He didn’t find who he was looking for but instead of being annoyed, he seemed satisfied. He made eye contact with Billy and gestured back toward the door with his chin.

They walked out the front doors and headed toward the parking lot. Billy and Tommy spotted the cherry red car simultaneously and Tommy started off in its direction. As they approached the vehicle, Billy whistled lowly. It was evident that he had competition for the nicest car in Hawkins.

“Nice, eh? Too bad it’s gone to waste on the driver”, Tommy muttered, almost to himself.

The 1971 Plymouth Barracuda gleamed in the sunlight and Billy could see a girl in the passenger seat, caramel-colored hair and a smattering of freckles that matched Tommy’s. She looked to be deep in conversation with the driver and didn’t notice the two boys approaching the car. Billy flicked his eyes to the driver’s side and could see nothing but the soles of black boots propped up on the dash and a thin wisp of smoke drifting out the cracked window. He could hear Scorpions’ Rock You Like A Hurricane and the sound of laughter as they neared.

Billy noted that Tommy visibly relaxed upon seeing the freckle-faced girl as he picked up his pace to a jog towards the driver’s side window. Billy joined him as he tapped on the glass.


	3. Looks That Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'She felt around in her pockets for her lighter. Before she could pull it out, flames licked the end, and she inhaled to get it burning. Her gaze met Billy’s as he lowered his outstretched arm and flicked his Zippo closed, smirking at her. She passed him the joint wordlessly, mesmerized as she watched his lips curl around the spot hers had been just a moment ago. A secondhand kiss.'
> 
> Sexual tension abound?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm covering all my bases so TW for recreational drug use in this one!

“What do _you_ suggest I dress up as then?!” Julianna huffed. Dani was flabbergasted that her friend still hadn’t picked a costume for the party tomorrow.

“I don’t know! A witch?”

“You’re joking…”

“Madonna?”

“Ugh. Okay. Two things: I don’t even _like_ Madonna and also, so overdone. Guaranteed half the girls in the school will be dressed as her.”

“A Playboy bunny?” Dani suggested innocently.

“Everyone already thinks I’m a huge slut, no need to advertise,” Julianna snapped back. “What are you dressing up as, then? Since you’re clearly _bursting_ with ideas,” she quipped sarcastically.

“Wonder Woman! I’ve been working on it for weeks now,” Dani replied, voice laced with pride. It was sure to be a killer costume.

“You’re gonna be freezing, you know that?”

“Hoes don’t get cold, Jules. You, of all people, should know that,” Dani snorted.

Julianna laughed loudly while Dani lit the joint her friend had just finished rolling. She took a long drag and passed it.

Julianna inhaled the skunky smoke deeply. She was mid-exhale when knuckles rapped against her window. She tensed instinctively, but relaxed when she saw Tommy and Billy. That relaxation was immediately replaced with annoyance. She rolled down her window all the way to greet the boys.

“What can I do for you boys?”, she asked with a sarcastic smile, the remainder of the smoke in her lungs billowing out through her mouth.

“Hey Dan, Julianna. This is Billy Hargrove, the new kid. Hargrove, this is my cousin Dani and the biggest bitch in Hawkins,” Tommy made quick introductions. Dani looked a little starstruck but managed a wave at Billy who merely smirked and gave her a nod of acknowledgment.

“Thomas James Hagan,” Julianna smiled mockingly with a hand to her heart as if she was touched by his words, “that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.”

Tommy rolled his eyes, chose to ignore her. “Was wondering if we could join your little party?”

“Hmm… I don’t know Tommy, I was liking this day much better without your presence,” Julianna sighed dramatically.

“I come bearing gifts…?” Tommy said in an exasperated tone, extending her the Coke and Mars bar.

Julianna looked past Tommy at Billy, completely ignoring the offering and pretended to be contemplating.

“Wow, prostituting out the new kid for drugs? That’s pretty low, even for your questionable moral standards, Tommyboy,” Julianna snarked, one eyebrow raised in mock questioning. Billy snorted.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Slut,” Tommy shot back.

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

Before Tommy could reply, Dani interrupted. “You know he’s not going to stop Jules, just let them in.”

Julianna sighed as she reached over and took the drink and chocolate from Tommy’s hands.

“Fine. Peaches gets shotgun though,” she motioned toward the passenger seat while looking at Billy, intending it as a punishment for Dani since she was the one who allowed this.

Dani huffed as she got out, tipping the seat forward so she and Tommy could climb in the back. Billy jumped in after they got semi-comfortable. Julianna passed back the joint they had just been smoking and slowly leaned over and reached between Billy’s legs to grab another from her glove compartment. As she pulled her hand back, they made eye contact. It was Billy’s turn to lick his teeth. Julianna felt a flush creep up her neck as she gave a sly smile in return.

“If you needed something, you could’ve just asked, Troublemaker.”

Julianna didn’t miss the double meaning in his words. “And what would be the fun in that?” she flirted back, the fresh joint between her lips as she felt around in her pockets for her lighter. Before she could pull it out, flames licked the end, and she inhaled to get it burning.

Her gaze met Billy’s as he lowered his outstretched arm and flicked his Zippo closed, smirking at her. She passed him the joint wordlessly, mesmerized as she watched his lips curl around the spot hers had been just a moment ago. _A secondhand kiss._ Her eyes met Dani’s in the rearview mirror and her friend just raised her eyebrows at her.

It was then that Tommy distracted them all with basketball talk; mostly shit-talking some of the other guys on the team, mainly Steve Harrington. Dani tried her best to stick up for their friend but clearly wasn’t making much progress. Even after knowing Tommy for two years, Julianna was still astounded by the amount the kid could talk. He was absolutely insufferable, barely capable of having a conversation that wasn’t about himself or the misfortunes and faults of others. She had no idea how Dani and Tommy got along so well, though she did admit that Tommy was much more bearable with his cousin around.

While the two chatted in the back seat, Julianna and Billy sat in comfortable silence, bobbing to the music and passing the joint back and forth slowly, Billy’s ring occasionally clicking against Julianna’s many. Every now and then, they’d catch each other’s eyes when Tommy said something especially stupid. Her ears perked up when Dani decided to change the topic.

“Actually, before you guys got here, we were debating on what our pal Jules should be for Halloween. Got any ideas, boys?”

Julianna groaned, not looking forward to anything that was about to come out of Tommy’s mouth.

“She could be a bitch. Wouldn’t even have to buy a costume. Just wear what she wears every day,” Tommy said with a laugh that was a little too loud, forced. As if he was trying to win brownie points with the new kid by being an asshole.

It wasn’t working. Billy turned to see Julianna’s reaction at the very unfunny joke taken at her expense. He watched Julianna shoot Tommy a smile in the rearview but not the charming ones he’s seen from her thus far. Oh no, this smile was sharp, akin to a slap in the face. Off-putting and yet somehow attractive.

“Wow, so original,” Dani said with an eye-roll. “Ou! What about Sandy Olsson from Grease?”

“Jesus, Dani. Would you quit it? I’ll figure something out. I don’t need any more input from your caveman relative.”

Dani quickly engaged Tommy in a conversation about an upcoming family dinner before he could respond to Julianna’s irritated remark.

Not long after, the cousins announced their departure, hoping to grab something to eat from the cafe before lunch ended. Julianna let them out and then turned to Billy who was puffing on the last bit of their joint.

“Wanna finish this with me?” she asked without thinking, holding up the half-smoked joint Dani handed her as she left. It was obvious she and Tommy spent more time talking than smoking.

Billy shrugged, he was never one to turn down free drugs. “Sure.”

Julianna got back in the car hoping to continue their flirting but as she sat down, a thought struck her. “Let me guess, it wasn’t Tommy’s money that bought my bribe, was it?”

As if right on cue, Billy’s stomach growled loudly. Julianna sighed and reached into her backpack, pulling out two ham and cheese sandwiches that Sophie made her for lunch and passing one to Billy. He eyed the sandwich for a moment before taking it from her, flicking the last of their joint out the cracked window and giving a short nod in thanks. He also wasn’t one to turn down free food.

“Help yourself to the goodies too. You paid for them after all.”

Billy cracked open the can of Coke and took a long swig before passing it to Julianna, who traded it with the joint in her hand. They ate and smoked in silence, both of them enjoying the peace that was rarely afforded to them outside this moment.

Julianna noted that Billy wordlessly commanded attention. His presence was huge and magnetic, she found herself wanting to be closer to him. She caught herself staring and awkwardly broke the silence, mentally cursing herself for her errant thoughts. _This was not the plan._ And yet, she couldn’t stop herself. Later, she would blame the weed.

“You know, Tommy’s the only person who ‘pays’ to smoke. I only deal with him because he’s related to my best friend. Friends smoke for free, just gotta let me know,” Julianna shrugged, trying not to ramble as she split the Mars bar and offered half to the blonde boy, avoiding eye contact.

Billy was caught off guard by her awkwardness, a sudden change from the flirtatious confidence or devil-may-care attitude he’d seen so far. The change was jarring, almost giving him whiplash. He regained composure and accepted the chocolate and took a bite.

“Didn’t realize we were friends, Trouble” he mumbled with his mouth full.

“I mean, we’ve already given each other cutesy nicknames and shared a meal. What’s that to you, Peaches?”

 _Under different circumstances, that would be a date._ Billy thought. He told himself when he moved here that he wouldn’t make friends, no girlfriends, wouldn’t tie himself to this shithole in any way. The moment he graduated high school, he would be on the road home; to Cali, never looking back. Just under two years from now. Seemed like an eternity away.

After a short pause, he changed the topic without answering. “You should be Sarah Connor for Halloween.”

“From Terminator?” Billy nodded.

“Not the worst idea ever, she’s pretty badass,” Julianna mumbled, more to herself than her companion.

Once again, Billy changed the topic. “Nice car, by the way. Daddy’s?”

“Mine. Don’t have a dad.” _Why did I say that?_

 _Lucky you._ “Mine’s nicer, I think”, he said as he gestured to the Camaro parked across from them. Julianna was grateful Billy didn’t ask any awkward questions.

“Maybe, doubt it. I was admiring it this morning though,” she answered honestly as she tossed the butt of their joint into the ashtray, eyes on the Camaro in front of them. She didn’t notice Billy lean in.

“I’d love to take you for a ride,” he purred into her ear, winking at her when she turned to look at him. If she was uncomfortable with the proximity, she certainly didn’t show it. Instead, Julianna laughed as she grabbed her bag and opened her door to get out. Billy did the same.

“That your move, Hargrove?” she asked with a smirk, flirtatiousness returning but her heart pounding in her chest.

“Depends. Did it work?” he asked in return, pulling a Marlboro from the pack in his breast pocket and lighting it. He offered the pack to Julianna but she just shook her head and reached for the smoke perched between his lips.

“I don’t give it up that easily; keep trying, champ” Julianna whispered as she leaned in and patted his chest with her free hand. She willed the creeping flush to not reach her cheeks and took a long drag on the cigarette before passing it back to Billy. For about the hundredth time in the last hour, their fingers grazed one another’s but it was only now that the marijuana high was clearing from her brain that Julianna noticed the electricity that sparked at the touch. It was at that moment that she knew she was in deep shit.


	4. Sweet Child O' Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Julianna returned to reality when she felt a hand on hers. She jerked away like she’d been burned. She was about to ream Sophie out for the intrusion when a wave of artificial calm washed over her, as though she was feeling someone else’s emotions. Julianna closed her eyes and took a slow, deep breath.'
> 
> In this chapter, we learn a little bit about a very, very important character.

It took an alarming amount of convincing Dani that nothing happened between Julianna and Billy at lunch. Though, with her track record, she was disappointed but not surprised at her friend’s skepticism.

“So you’re telling me that you didn’t even _kiss_?! Are you okay? Do you have a fever?” Dani reached over to feel her friend’s forehead but Julianna swatted her hand away as they headed through the hallways at the end of the day.

“You know, I’m shocked that’s how little you think of me”, she breathed, a hand to her chest in mock offense. “I simply don’t want to ruin every other girl in Hawkins for him. Yet.”

Not entirely true. While Julianna believed without a doubt she could rock Billy Hargrove’s world, that was not why she wasn’t jumping to sleep with him. After that last shared smoke, the spark between them, Julianna could no longer trust herself to keep whatever would end up happening between them a one-time thing. He was under her skin already and that scared her.

This was not who Julianna Janzen was. In one summer, she became queen of the nail n’ bail, definitely the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. While unlike Dani, she hadn’t sworn off of boys, she _had_ sworn off feelings and relationships. She wasn’t about to let a tight ass and witty charm change that.

Especially because Julianna knew that Billy Hargrove was also not a “relationship” type of person. And yet, in a twisted, self-destructive fashion, she knew damn well she wasn’t going to leave him alone.

“Well, when you do decide to ruin every other girl in Hawkins for him, you have to tell me all about it”, Dani giggled and Julianna rolled her eyes at her as they turned a corner down the main hallway.

It was there that they spotted Billy leaning against a row of lockers, chatting in close quarters with Cheryl Gibson; the most popular girl in school. And the biggest slut, though Julianna was perhaps a close second if the rumors were to be believed.

While Julianna was band tees, faded denim, and dark leather, Cheryl Gibson was chenille sweaters, short skirts, and neon polyester. Cheryl was familiar and comfortable; the poster child for the girl-next-door stereotype. Actually, she seemed exactly like what Julianna imagined Billy’s type being; beautiful, slutty and dumb.

She had a hand on his arm as she flirted and he was smiling at her, tongue poking slightly from between his teeth. Julianna avoided eye contact as they walked past the couple.

“Figures”, Dani muttered under her breath as they reached the front doors. They didn’t see Billy turn around and follow Julianna out with his eyes.

The girls said quick goodbyes and parted ways, Julianna heading to her car to wait for her sister.

\---

Julianna leaned against the hood of the Barracuda smoking, mentally cursing Sophie for taking so damn long when she finally spotted her across the lot. She was talking animatedly with a redheaded girl Julianna had never seen before, both of them tossing their heads back and laughing at something Sophie said.

Sophie had a tough time making friends when they first moved, eventually being taken in by a group of rag-tag boys; Will Byers, Mike Wheeler, Lucas Sinclair, and Dustin Henderson. They bonded over their mutual love of comic books and Dungeons and Dragons. Julianna always hoped Sophie would make more female friends as well but that never happened. That is, until Eleven came into their lives and left just as abruptly. Nearly a year later and Sophie was still mourning the loss of her friend, her sister.

Which is why Julianna’s heart was just about bursting seeing Sophie with what appeared to be a new friend.

Sophie skipped over with a broad grin and introduced the redhead, who gave a small, awkward smile at Julianna.

“Julie, this is Max, she just moved here from California. Max, this is my sister Julianna.”

“Hey, Max. It’s nice to meet you. I’m guessing you’re Billy’s sister?” Julianna asked, reaching out to shake her hand. She found it unlikely that two families from California would end up in Hawkins at the same time but she also noted exactly zero similarities in Billy and Max’s appearances. The only thing they shared were their blue eyes, but even those juxtaposed one another. Max’s were the colour of the sky on the sunniest of days and Billy’s were the colour of the deep abyss of the ocean.

Max’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she shifted the skateboard under her arm to her other hand to return the handshake. _Strong grip._

“Not his sister. Billy’s my stepbrother. You’ve met him?” Max questioned. 

Julianna gave a short nod of confirmation. _That_ explained it.

“Sorry for your loss,” Max snorted and Julianna chuckled.

Julianna watched as Max showed Sophie some tricks on her skateboard when Max suddenly checked the time on her Casio and groaned. “Where is he? We’re gonna be late getting home.”

“I think he might be a while, Max, he seemed pretty… _preoccupied_ when I saw him when school ended”, Julianna explained and Max groaned again, this time in disgust. Evidently, the redhead was aware of her stepbrother’s extracurricular activities.

“Do you want a ride home?” Sophie asked her new friend, looking to Julianna who gave a nod.

“We get in trouble if we don’t come home together”, Max sighed and shook her head.

“Okay well, which scenario will get you in less trouble? If you wait and get home late or if you leave without him?” Julianna asked.

Max gave it some thought before she answered, “I think I’d rather wait for him.”

And so the two Janzen sisters decided they would wait with Max so she wouldn’t be alone as the parking lot emptied out. The two younger girls were discussing trick-or-treating the following day and what they would be dressing up as when Billy finally appeared, looking extremely disheveled and stressed until he saw the group of girls standing between the Barracuda and the Camaro. He visibly relaxed but continued his brisk pace, maintaining his scowl and licking his top teeth through closed lips as he approached his car.

“Let’s go, shitbird”, he practically growled at Max, ignoring the other two girls entirely. Max rolled her eyes theatrically before the two stepsiblings got in the car and peeled out. Julianna and Sophie looked at each other in confusion.

“Was that weird or...?”

“No, it was definitely weird”, Sophie agreed.

The two girls jumped in Julianna’s Barracuda and made their way home, arguing over what they should make for dinner.

\---

“So,” Julianna began as she stuffed another forkful of spaghetti into her mouth, “tell me about Max.”

The two girls sat side by side at the breakfast bar in the kitchen eating their dinner.

“She just moved here, like literally this weekend, with her mom, stepdad, and stepbrother, who she says is a total dick. We’re in the same classes. Dustin and Lucas are obsessed with her. It’s actually almost creepy,” Sophie rattled off quickly, trying to chew between words. Julianna nodded as her sister spoke.

“Must suck for them. I wonder why they moved from Cali to the middle of nowhere. In my opinion, no one should ever move away from the west coast. People who do are insane,” Julianna decided.

“I barely even remember it,” Sophie said softly. “It was only like two years ago but it’s a huge blur.”

Julianna nodded sympathetically. “I only really remember the ocean, nothing else. You never liked the water, you were scared of the waves”, she smiled wistfully. Sophie didn’t answer and they continued to eat in silence.

While her sister didn’t take to life by the ocean, Julianna loved it. Moving from their little coastal town in British Columbia, Canada to the minuscule farming community of Hawkins, Indiana shattered Julianna’s heart. She missed the ocean every single day, with every fiber of her being. She especially missed surfing at dawn when nothing existed in the universe except her and the waves. Nothing in Hawkins could ever make her feel the way she did on those quiet mornings, could provide her with that escape.

“What’s wrong?”

Julianna returned to reality when she felt a hand on hers. She jerked away like she’d been burned. She was about to ream Sophie out for the intrusion when a wave of artificial calm washed over her, as though she was feeling someone else’s emotions. Julianna closed her eyes and took a slow, deep breath.

“Sophie, how many fucking times have we talked ab-” and then the calm left and Julianna’s annoyance returned. “Seriously kid?!”

“I know, I’m sorry! It’s just that you looked so sad and lost and I wanted to make sure you’re okay!” Sophie sniffed hard, looking straight down while subconsciously rubbing her left forearm.

“Then ask! Jesus, Soph.” Julianna reached for a paper towel and dabbed at Sophie’s bleeding nose. She let her big sister baby her for a moment.

“Wait. You told Max you met Billy. What’s he like?”

“Don’t trust Max’s description?” Julianna cocked an eyebrow at her sister.

“I’d probably describe you as a jerk too, if someone asked,” Sophie said with a small smile before continuing, “you guys both do that weird teeth-licking thing. I thought you were the only one who does that.”

Julianna raised her eyebrows in surprise. She always forgot how perceptive her sister was; she hadn’t even realized the mannerism that she and Billy shared.

Julianna looked at her sister’s expectant face and decided that she was owed an honest answer.

“Well, I can say without a doubt that he’s trouble, but I want to get to know him better.”

“Like, get to know him or _get to know him_?”

“ **Sophie!** ” Julianna admonished her sister, looking at the ceiling while shaking her head in disbelief at her little sister’s audacity.

“What?! It’s a valid question. I need to know if you plan on dating my friends’ siblings,” Sophie sighed exasperatedly, as if she were the adult in the situation.

“No, dummy. I’m just curious about him, I feel like there’s more to him than what he chooses to show the world.”

“I could do some investigating for you,” Sophie said, getting excited at the prospect of a mission. “I could invite myself over for dinner at their house and maybe ask him to pass me the peas or something from across the table and just graze his fingers and then-”

“ **No!** Absolutely not! Just because you can invade peoples’ privacy like that, doesn’t mean you should, **Thirteen**.”

The moment the name was out of her mouth, Julianna regretted it. Sophie huffed and wordlessly started clearing their plates before heading upstairs to do her homework, door slamming hard behind her.


	5. Seek and Destroy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'As if Billy could sense her thinking about him, he turned his head slightly and locked eyes with Julianna, one corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk. Julianna playfully blew him a kiss back, hoping her friends weren’t paying attention.'
> 
> The one where we meet the Hargrove-Mayfield family, get to know the friendship dynamics, and maybe learn a teeny bit about what's going on inside Billy Hargrove's head.

The following morning, Billy was about to head into class when a pretty brunette he’d seen with Cheryl the previous day ( _Tina?_ ) pulled him aside. She looked nervous in his presence which was unsurprising; that was the usual effect he had on girls. He smirked at her and waited patiently for whatever she was about to say to him.

“Hey Billy, you should totally come to my party tonight,” she thrust an orange flyer at him with a gloating smile, “biggest one of the year!” 

“‘Come get sheet-faced’,” he read aloud with a snort, “sounds like fun, Princess, I’ll see you there.”

Tina blushed at the nickname as Billy shot her a lopsided grin and walked into his Geography room. He watched as she stood outside the door, passing flyers to the students walking by in the hallway. He didn’t even realize he was waiting for someone until she arrived.

Julianna also accepted an invitation from Tina before walking in. Billy was pleasantly surprised by her outfit of choice; a tiny green plaid mini skirt, revealing toned, muscular legs and a thick black cable knit sweater that was cropped to show a sliver of skin on her stomach. Her long blonde waves were down today, bouncing as she strolled to her seat. Billy imagined tangling his hand in her hair and pulling, _hard_. She was in front of him by the time he realized he’d been staring, his eyes quickly snapping up to meet hers. The knowing smile she wore indicated that his fixation didn’t go unnoticed.

“Hey, Peaches,” Julianna greeted as she sat down beside him, stretching out her legs and crossing her ankles innocently.

“Hey, yourself,” Billy smirked at her.

He admired her legs, noting that she was still sporting the last vestiges of a deep summer tan, one that he hadn’t seen on any other girl in Hawkins since he’d arrived. She reminded him of girls in California, the ones who spent their days down by the beach; no makeup, salty waves in their hair. The look was effortless and attractive, and also very out of place in Hawkins, where every girl was pale with perfectly hair-sprayed hair and bold eyeshadow. Billy was drawn to the blonde, he reminded her of home.

And it wasn’t just her looks that interested him. Julianna was also witty and fun to flirt with. Instead of making it his goal to bed her as quickly as possible, Billy wanted to take his time and drag this one out. But of course, that wasn’t going to stop him from taking other girls to bed in the meantime, or more precisely, the backseat of his Camaro, or the girls’ locker room.

The latter was where he ended up with Cheryl the previous day, eager to fuck away the dullness of a three-day drive and the anger he felt for being here in the first place. He hadn’t even bothered with much foreplay or making sure Cheryl also finished; too busy chasing his own release and then rushing out, hoping Max was still there waiting so he wouldn’t hear it from Neil when he got home. 

It didn’t work. The orgasm did nothing to loosen his tense muscles, leaving him in a foul(er) mood and he _still_ heard it from his dad that night. Because even when Billy didn’t do anything wrong, he did everything wrong according to Neil Hargrove.

Julianna’s voice snapped him out of his mental pity-party. “Will you be coming tonight?” she asked as she leaned in and waved the obnoxious orange invitation in his face. _God, she smelled good._

“I’d like to be, care to help me out with that?” he responded, one eyebrow raised and a lewd grin on his face. It took the blonde girl a moment to process the innuendo and Billy was pleased to see her blush and laugh, eyes averting from his gaze.

“Oh my god, Hargrove,” she managed between giggles before her face suddenly straightened out and she turned back to him with a look of mock-seriousness. “Only if I’ll be coming with you,” she purred, voice sultry and low.

After a moment of shocked pause, both Julianna and Billy snorted at the ridiculousness of their exchange.

“But in all seriousness, do you want to come with me to the party tonight?” Billy asked as they walked out of class together a little while later, throwing an arm over her shoulder. His own question shocked him and he was trying to find a way to effectively backpedal when Julianna cut in with her reply.

“I’m actually going to be late, gotta make dinner for Sophie and Max before they go trick-or-treating and I still need to finish my costume,” she sighed. “I’m gonna take a raincheck on this one, Peaches. See you there!”

She shook off his arm and hurried off in the direction of her next class without waiting for a response. She did that a lot. Billy momentarily contemplated if he should feel angry or relieved. It wasn’t often he didn’t get what he wanted, even if at this point he wasn’t even sure what he wanted.

\---

“So,” Dani began as she slammed her lunch tray down and sat beside Julianna, “what’s everyone dressing up as tonight?”

“Nance and I are being Tom Cruise and Rebecca DeMornay from Risky Business, I loved that movie,” Steve answered between a mouthful of shitty cafeteria pizza. Nancy just rolled her eyes at him and continued to eat.

“Sweet. That’s actually pretty clever!” Julianna complimented as she high-fived Steve, before shooting Dani a look. She wasn’t about to have this conversation again.

Thankfully, or perhaps, unfortunately, Nancy interrupted. “We missed you at lunch yesterday, Jules. Steve’s admissions paper could’ve used your magic touch,” she said with a small smile, clearly teasing an oblivious Steve. Dani snorted.

“Sorry guys, I had some business that required attending. I’m sure the paper was great, right Stevie?”

“Don’t remind me and don’t call me ‘Stevie’. It was terrible and I’m never going to get into college. I bet community colleges won’t even want me,” Steve said with a mixture of annoyance and sadness. “Dad always says I’m the failure of the family.”

“Well fuck him. Wherever you end up in life Steve, you’ll do amazing. It doesn’t have to be college, you know,” Dani soothed. Julianna and Nancy nodded in agreement as Jonathan took a seat on Nancy’s other side.

Julianna and Dani shared a looked between them as they noted Jonathan’s proximity to Nancy, as the latter shifted the position of her body away from her boyfriend toward the newcomer at their table. Steve either didn’t notice or pretended not to.

“Sucks that you guys missed dinner at the Holland’s last night. Mrs. Holland misses you guys,” Nancy said to Julianna and Dani sadly.

They were an odd bunch. They came from different circles, brought together by a combination of circumstance and shared trauma. Julianna and Dani were friendly with Nancy Wheeler and Barbara Holland prior to Barb’s disappearance the previous year. All of them were social drifters, well-acquainted with everyone. When Nancy started dating Steve Harrington, captain of the boys’ basketball team and King of Hawkins High, that added a new string to intertwine them.

Julianna and Dani had met Steve at a party Tommy threw in their freshman year and bonded quickly. He was charismatic and entertaining but insecure and desperate to fit in. This insecurity occasionally made him a real dick, and that dickishness was egged on by Tommy. After the disappearance of Barb and Will Byers last year, a strange series of events brought Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan together, with the former becoming significantly more humble upon being ousted from the “populars”. Julianna knew the story because of Sophie and knew Jonathan through her sister’s friendship with Will but Dani was still in the dark about what really happened to Barbara. However, they easily accepted Jonathan into the fold of their little clique, even though he was often awkward, preferring to eat lunch out by his car alone. Nobody minded; Julianna also had a habit of getting up in the middle of lunch to go sit in her car and smoke by herself. In fact, she was considering doing just that when Steve’s voice caught her attention.

“-and coach just _offered_ him a spot on the team! He didn’t even try out for god’s sake!” Steve was rubbing his face, exasperated.

“Sorry, offered who a spot on what team?” Julianna interrupted, trying to catch up in the conversation.

“Hargrove!” Steve almost yelled before catching himself and continuing in a slightly quieter voice, “that asshole new kid who thinks he’s the best at everything… cocky fucker made the basketball team.”

“Jeez, tell us how you really feel, Stevie,” Dani said with a short chuckle.

“He’s a dick. That’s how I really feel,” Steve replied angrily, too engrossed in his rant to recognize the sarcasm that dripped from Dani’s voice.

Julianna looked toward the “popular” table and was unsurprised to see Billy sitting at the head, with both Tina and Cheryl practically clinging to him and Carol just a few seats down clearly wishing she was. They were sitting with Tommy and a few other members of the basketball team, who were all yelling and laughing loudly.

Julianna noted with interest that Billy seemed to prefer to observe his surroundings. He didn’t have to fight for attention the same way Tommy did with his boisterousness. Instead, the attention came to him; with people trying to engage him in conversation and make him laugh instead of Billy having to fight to be liked. Apparently his natural charisma worked on the male population too.

Try as she might though, Julianna just couldn’t see what Steve saw. Of course, she saw the cocky smirk on his face as the girls fought for his attention. She saw the flashes of annoyance cross his face when one of the guys asked a dumb question. She could acknowledge that it was pretty self-absorbed that Billy was already acting like he owned the place. However, none of those things classified him as an asshole in Julianna’s books. It wasn’t Billy’s fault he was blessed with unparalleled looks and charm. Unparalleled in Hawkins, at least. He might’ve had competition in Cali but he certainly didn’t here.

But then she thought of the way he spoke to Max the previous day. That was mean, Julianna knew. But instead of turning her off of Billy, it only made her want to know more. It didn’t seem like he was mean for the sake of being mean, it was more like… _fear?_

As if Billy could sense her thinking about him, he turned his head slightly and locked eyes with Julianna, one corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk. Julianna playfully blew him a kiss back, hoping her friends weren’t paying attention.

\---

“Remind me again why I also have to go to the door?” Julianna asked as she and Sophie turned down Old Cherry Lane. The sisters were picking Max up for dinner so the two younger girls could get ready for trick-or-treating together.

“Because Max’s mom will only let her come over if she meets you. She wanted to meet our parents,” Sophie rolled her eyes, “but Max told her it’s just me and you home. So I guess you’re up to bat, Julie.”

“You make it sound like I’m going to fuck this up or something, kid. Parents _love_ me,” Julianna paused, glancing at her baby sister before continuing, “don’t offer to shake hands, only do it if they reach out first.”

“Oh my _god_ , Julianna. I’m going to be fine. Oh, I think that’s it, 5280… wow, that’s only like, two blocks away from our house!”

Julianna noted the absence of a certain blue Camaro as she pulled over against the curb. Sophie jumped out and bounded up the steps toward the Hargrove-Mayfield house. Just as Julianna reached the top step and Sophie raised her hand to knock, Max tore the door open, looking frazzled. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, a voice boomed from behind her and the redhead paled.

“Where do you think you’re going, Maxine?” A large male figure came up behind Max. Upon first glance, Julianna couldn’t figure out who she was looking at but upon closer inspection, she realized the man must be Billy’s dad. He had the same broad, muscular build and strong jawline but that was where the physical similarities ended. Julianna decided that Billy’s mom must be the most beautiful woman on earth because her son definitely didn’t get his looks from his father.

Just as Max was attempting to stutter out a reply, a slender, delicate, redheaded woman joined the man at the door. She was shifting uncomfortably, her eyes locked on the white-knuckled grip her husband had on her daughter’s shoulder. Julianna felt Sophie bristle at the scene before her but it didn’t take superpowers to feel the tension radiating off the two redheads.

“Oh honey, I told you yesterday, Maxine is going trick-or-treating with a new friend from school tonight!” The older redhead turned to the two girls on her doorstep, finally addressing them, “Hello ladies, I’m Susan Hargrove. You must be Sophie and Julianna.”

Susan extended a hand to Julianna first, and she reached out to take it. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Hargrove.” Julianna noted the woman’s feeble grasp and timid smile and she couldn’t help the angry thoughts that crashed like waves in her mind. _Weak. Scared. Living the life of the subservient housewife. Ugh._

All at once, she felt sorry for Max. She hoped the little girl had a more positive influence in her life somewhere. Judging by the iron grip in her handshake yesterday, at least Julianna could rest assured that Max was more confident and stronger-willed than her mother. Sophie’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Hi Mrs. Hargrove, Max told me a lot about you,” Sophie extended her right hand to the woman, the smile on her face huge, almost predatory.

Julianna froze; she knew what her sister was doing. A loaded statement, followed by an invitation or excuse to touch was the standard operating procedure for Sophie Janzen when she was met with false pretense.

If the little brunette learned anything from the handshake, she certainly didn’t show it. She exchanged pleasantries with Susan, who remarked to Max how polite her new friend was. Then the man beside Susan cleared his throat loudly.

“Oh! I’m so sorry. This is my husband Neil, Maxine’s stepfather,” Susan made quick introductions. Neil made no move and only grunted an acknowledgment. That didn’t stop Sophie though.

“Mr. Hargrove,” Sophie smiled gently, “it’s great to meet you!” If Julianna hadn’t been so preoccupied with her sister’s blatant disregard of other peoples’ privacy, she would’ve been extremely proud of Sophie’s confidence.

She watched as Sophie reached out with her left hand, a calculated move, forcing Neil to let go of Max’s shoulder to return the handshake. Max immediately moved to stand beside her friend.

It was Sophie’s turn to freeze when her hand met Neil Hargrove’s. It was as if her blood had turned to ice in her veins. Julianna saw it immediately on her sister’s face - terror. She discretely moved to place a protective hand on Sophie’s back, flexing her fingers in the hopes that the pressure would get the younger girl moving.

“Well, it was so nice to meet you both but we gotta get movin’ on dinner if the girls want to make it out tonight!” Julianna quickly excused them and pulled Sophie away. 

Goodbyes were said and the three girls retreated to the car. Sophie was pale and Max looked extremely uncomfortable. The older blonde met her sister’s gaze, a question in her eyes.

 _Are you okay?_ Sophie nodded almost imperceptibly. Julianna breathed a sigh of relief before shooting another look in the brunette’s direction. _We’ll talk about this later._ No one spoke until they could no longer see the house behind them.

“I’m so sorry about that, he wasn’t supposed to be home…” Max breathed. She said the words so quietly, Julianna barely heard her over the roar of the ‘Cuda.


	6. I Love Rock N' Roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Staring into Billy’s baby blues, she made the stark realization that up until this moment, not a single one of the smiles she’d seen him wear were genuine. They were all calculated, measured to reach a goal; make nice with a teacher, flirt, charm. It was never happiness. Not until this. If she thought he was attractive before, he was goddamn beautiful now.'
> 
> It's party time!

Billy had gotten to Tina’s shortly after 8:30 and to his relief, the party was already in full swing. Evidently, the people of Hawkins were unaware of the term “fashionably late”.

He maneuvered his way through the house, taking time to grab a cup of a radioactive-looking red liquid from a punch bowl in the kitchen. He put the cup to his nose and breathed in. Billy instantly recoiled at the smell; he couldn’t even identify the type of alcohol in the punch but he knew there was a lot of it in there.

He gulped it down quickly before being cornered by Cheryl, who, despite his rather lackluster performance the previous day, was eager for round two. Billy wasn’t interested but decided that he would at least keep her on his radar; it was always convenient to have a few hot and willing girls around.

Billy was the observant type; a necessary survival skill for life with Neil. The ability to predict someone’s actions based on their tone of voice and body language helped him avoid beatings as well as get girls. Billy reveled in being the center of attention wherever he went but he didn’t always go looking for it. Sometimes, he just enjoyed sitting back and watching the chaos unfold around him.

For example, from his vantage point in the kitchen, he could see a very annoyed-looking Steve Harrington with his very drunk-looking girlfriend in the living room. As Billy watched the unhappy couple, he wondered how someone so… _soft_ could be king of Hawkins High; Steve couldn’t even handle his own mousey girlfriend. He shook his head and went off in search of the kegs because _god, did he need a beer._

Out back, he found Tommy H. and the rest of the basketball team doing keg stands. He also saw Dani chatting with Carol and Tina. Billy was eyeing Dani in her extremely revealing Wonder Woman costume when Tommy began interrogating him on his own keg stand skills, clearly challenging him. Billy was game but knew he was nowhere near intoxicated enough yet. He filled a cup with shitty beer, tipped it back, and refilled immediately.

He spent another 10 minutes or so listening to the conversations going on around him, nodding his head occasionally like he was listening while swatting away intoxicated girls in the meantime. It was astounding to him how vapid everyone in Hawkins was. Small town life, he guessed; nothing new ever happened so there was never anything interesting to talk about. If this was the best and biggest party of the year, it was going to be a _long_ two years. Billy was already sick of it; the people annoyed him, the music sucked - he decided the best course of action would be to get plastered. Hopefully, that would make his night more bearable.

He was another cup of beer deep when the music shut off suddenly. Billy was relieved; if he had to listen to another Duran Duran song, he was going to lose it. Soon, Round and Round by Ratt started playing and a grin spread on Billy’s face. _Much better._ A conversation going on beside him caught his attention.

“That must mean the queen is here,” he heard Tommy grumble sarcastically.

“Was wondering when she would show, the party started an hour ago,” Carol said in a tone that sounded like she was hoping whoever the ‘queen’ was, wasn’t going to show up at all.

“I don’t think Jules has ever been on time for anything in her life,” Dani remarked with a smirk.

 _Finally_ , a decent source of entertainment for the night. Billy watched as Julianna made her way out the back door, scanning the crowd for familiar faces. Upon seeing Dani waving to her, she vaulted herself over the railing of the back porch with an alarming amount of grace, landing on her feet and not spilling a drop of whatever was in her cup.

From what Billy gathered from Tommy, Julianna had a busy summer after finding out her boyfriend had cheated on her, making herself comfortable in many beds and had garnered herself quite the reputation. She was known for not taking shit from anyone and busting the balls of any poor sucker who dared to disrespect her. Apparently even sluts have standards. Still didn’t answer the question of why Tommy hated her so much. And Carol, for that matter. The couple seemed to have it out for the sassy blonde.

Guys talked about her like she was a mythical creature or some shit. Billy didn’t get it. If she was such a slut, then why did it seem like the chances of bedding Julianna Janzen were akin to one’s chances of seeing a unicorn?

“Dani, you look fucking amazing!” she excitedly complimented her friend.

“I know, I’m hot. Not so bad yourself, Jules,” Dani greeted with a mock curtsey. “Are you back here to defend your title, Keg Queen?”

“Defend against who? Who dares challenge me for my title?” Julianna questioned dramatically before continuing in a normal voice, “Actually no, I’m not drinking tonight.”

That’s when Billy decided to interrupt the conversation, walking up and throwing an arm over Julianna’s shoulders. “Why not, Trouble? I thought we could cross off the last two things on your list. Two down, two to go,” he said, referencing their conversation in Kowalsky’s class the previous day. “I see you heeded my advice; you look hot.”

He winked down at her, admiring her cleavage as she smiled up at him. She was dressed as Sarah Connor, just as he suggested; hair up in a high pony, tiny grey tank top showing off toned arms with sunglasses tucked into the low neckline, dark grey cargo pants secured with a utility belt, combat boots, and a toy rifle slung across her back. A pretty convincing costume.

“I don’t hook up when I’m drunk so perhaps this is the perfect opportunity for _one_ of the things left on the list,” she leaned into him, whispering in his ear. Her breath tickled his neck and Billy’s breathing hitched. “But,” she continued, “I promised Sophie I’d be home by 11:30 so you have about two hours to impress me, Peaches.”

Billy noticed her friend watching on with obvious amusement, which was the only thing that stopped him from kissing Julianna right then and there. He was about to ask her to go someplace more private with him when he felt a yank on his free arm.

“Come on man, get on the keg!” Tommy yelled and a bunch of the other boys cheered him on. Julianna could wait a few minutes while he showed Hawkins how it’s done. She was clearly thinking the same thing because she just smiled at him and ducked out from beneath his arm.

“Every queen needs a king,” she flirted as she walked away.

\---

“Forty-one!” 

“Forty-two!”

Julianna watched from the back porch as Billy got off the keg, spraying the crowd with the leftover beer foam in his mouth.

“That’s how you do it, Hawkins! That’s how you do it!”

The hoard of drunken teenagers that watched the crowning of the new Keg King were chanting his name as he headed toward the door, stumbling slightly. They locked eyes as he passed, Julianna raising her cup of Sprite in salute and he winked back. Billy was wearing nothing but a leather jacket, jeans, his boots, as well as some leather fingerless gloves. _Terminator._ Technically speaking, they matched. Julianna blushed at the thought. Blushed harder when she realized it was his idea.

“You’re not actually going to sleep with him, are you?” Dani asked before draining her cup.

“No,” Julianna answered too quickly. Dani shot her a look. “Not tonight at least,” she amended, “he’s absolutely blitzed. Although, I’m not entirely against licking the beer off his chest.”

“You’re disgusting, Jules.”

“You’d do the same, given the chance.”

Dani couldn’t argue with that one. She gave a violent shiver and Julianna looked at her with concern.

“Apparently hoes do get cold,” Dani muttered quietly.

They headed inside to get Dani warmed up when the pair spotted an intense stare-down between Billy and Steve. Julianna watched Steve pull his sunglasses off as they sized each other up. Billy looked about ready to throw down so she started heading toward them, pulling Dani with her by the wrist.

As they weaved through the drunken mass of bodies, they almost ran directly into Nancy, who seemed very, very intoxicated. That was very unlike her and quickly aroused suspicion.

“Hey, Nance? Nancy.” Julianna gripped her friend by the upper arms until she finally looked up at her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m p-partying. Like Steve said we should. I need ‘nother drink.” She was swaying as she spoke, slurring her words.

Julianna looked at Dani with alarm.

“Let’s go get you some water, champ,” Dani said as she took Nancy’s hand before turning to address Julianna. “You go deal with the testosterone overload and make sure the new Keg King doesn’t kill our friend.”

Julianna nodded and headed toward the two boys, making it there in time to catch the tail end of their conversation.

“I might’ve ‘turned bitch’ as you say, Hargrove, but at least I have actual friends instead of followers,” Steve spit with an uncharacteristic venom in his tone. Julianna was impressed for a moment. But then she saw Billy’s eyes change; Steve had struck a nerve. Julianna had to think fast because she could see Billy starting to flex his right hand, a surefire sign he was getting ready to swing.

“ **Steve!** ” Julianna called, her voice near-panicked. She had witnessed the aftermath of Jonathan beating the shit out of her friend last year and Billy was _much_ bigger than Jonathan, so she didn’t want to see what that would look like. She threw herself between the boys, not an easy feat since they were nearly nose-to-nose.

Facing Steve, she felt Billy’s chest heaving against her exposed shoulder blades; a sensation that was way more pleasant than she would ever admit aloud. Julianna tried to think of something that would get Steve up and moving before Billy decided the human shield thing wasn’t working.

“Nancy needs you, she’s gotta go home, Steve. **_Now_** , unless you want her to puke in your car,” Julianna addressed the tall brunette frantically, almost pushing him sideways out of Billy’s reach. Steve’s eyes widened in concern and he headed off in search of his girlfriend, not giving his newfound enemy a second glance.

It was as if the spell had been broken. Julianna immediately felt the tension leave the muscles pressed up against her back and by the time she fully turned around, Billy was already halfway across the room, getting lost in a sea of sweaty bodies.

_Crisis averted._

Julianna breathed a sigh of relief and went to go find her friends. She arrived in the kitchen just in time to see Steve trying to wrestle another cup of punch from Nancy’s grip, only to have it splatter all over her white shirt. She saw Dani reach for Nancy to help her only to be violently shaken off as she stormed upstairs, followed by Steve.

Dani joined Julianna on the opposite side of the kitchen island looking confused.

“Yikes…”

“My thoughts exactly,” Julianna muttered. She decided that whatever was going on there was none of their business. “Wanna go dance?”

The pair found themselves on the makeshift dancefloor, carelessly spinning around and grinding on each other, howling with laughter. They danced with fellow classmates, shamelessly flirted with some boys from the basketball team, and somewhere along the line, the fake rifle that Julianna had slung on her back disappeared but she was having too much fun to notice.

Julianna just about lost it when the opening chords to I Love Rock N’ Roll by Joan Jett came on. Even sober, she was having a great time and this was her _favorite_ song. She started dancing and wholeheartedly belting the lyrics as Dani and a few other friends laughed at her antics.

“ _And I could tell it wouldn’t be long till he was with me, yeah m-_ AH!” Julianna’s rendition of the song was quickly cut short by a pair of strong arms spinning her around.

She didn’t even need to see their face to know who it was; Billy’s cologne, mixed with the smell of spilled beer and Marlboros gave him away. He pulled her close by the waist and the pair danced and sang the chorus together. This wasn’t the dirty bump n’ grind Julianna was used to from boys her age, it was wholesome and cute; an alarming contrast against his appearance and general demeanor.

“ _So come and take your time and dance with me!_ ” 

Julianna felt her spine naturally arch back as Billy dipped her low to the ground, smiling brightly, eyes sparkling. He was shockingly coordinated for someone as drunk as he was and Julianna felt safe with his arms around her waist, hers around his neck.

Staring into Billy’s baby blues, she made the stark realization that up until this moment, not a single one of the smiles she’d seen him wear were genuine. They were all calculated, measured to reach a goal; make nice with a teacher, flirt, charm. It was never happiness. Not until this. If she thought he was attractive before, he was goddamn beautiful now. Eyes bright and alive, no pretense to be found. Julianna melted under his warm gaze, drowned in his eyes, and for just a second, she forgot there was anyone else in the room.

Simultaneously, she made another realization: she knew where she recognized him from.

But as soon as the moment arrived, it passed. The pair became aware of the cheers around them; Billy pulled Julianna back up and suddenly disappeared into the crowd once again. She wasn’t offended, they both had reputations to uphold. She would keep that smile close to her heart, guarding it as if it were her deepest secret.

The next time she saw the gorgeous blonde, he was standing between Tina’s legs as she perched on the kitchen countertop, mouths interlocked like they needed each other to breathe. Not too far off, Julianna spotted Cheryl sulking to Carol as they eyed the couple. She laughed to herself, looking forward to the drama that would ensue at school the next day.

Julianna spent the rest of her short night socializing with friends and acquaintances. She was in the middle of a conversation with Dani, Tommy (who, shockingly, was exceptionally behaved), and a couple of other guys when she noticed the time.

11:05.

She was due home in 25 minutes.

“Holy shit, I need to be home soon. Do you need a ride?” The question was directed at Dani.

“Don’t you dare leave, Dan. The night is still young,” Tommy threw an arm over his cousin’s shoulders. Dani looked at Julianna and shrugged.

“Nah, I’m good. Can’t let the costume go to waste, ya’know? I’ll get one of the boys to drive me home.”

“Cool,” Julianna agreed, secretly glad she wouldn’t have to go out of her way. She started off in the direction of a bathroom, hoping to go pee before she left, calling over her shoulder to her friend, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Dani’s melodic laughter followed her as she walked away.

The line for the downstairs bathroom was about six people deep so she bounded up the stairs and down the hallway, careful to avoid the many couples littering the hallway in various states of undress.

 _Gross…_

She tried the door to the upstairs bathroom and found it locked. Julianna knocked on the door loudly and was met with a _“fuck off”_ so quiet, her ears barely registered it over the music downstairs. What she did register for sure though was the sound that followed; the sound of someone emptying the contents of their stomach.

Julianna sighed, weighing the moral decision of making sure whoever was in there didn’t die and getting home on time. The ragged, shallow breathing interspersed with whimpers coming from the other side of the door made the decision for her.

She jammed her nail into the keyhole and twisted, thankful that Tina’s parents didn’t invest in stronger locks as she heard the telltale click of the bolt moving.

Julianna opened the door slowly, bracing herself for what she would find.


	7. Take On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'He ventured a peek at her through one eye, finding her sitting against her headboard reading a book. She was wearing a tiny pair of sleep shorts and an oversized shirt with the sleeves torn off all the way down her ribs, revealing a sports bra. Looking up, Billy could see a thin scar running along her jaw, stopping just before her chin. She must’ve felt his gaze because she turned her head towards him and gave him a warm smile.'
> 
> Julianna plays caring parent and Billy does some snooping.

What she found was a very intoxicated and very sick Billy Hargrove moaning as he struggled to support his head with his hands over the toilet bowl.

“Here, let me help you,” Julianna cooed softly, reaching to comfort him. He tried swatting her away but she dodged his weak attempts with ease.

“I said, fuck off,” Billy heaved.

“We need to get you home, Keg King. There’s school in the morning,” Julianna sighed as she produced a scrunchie from her back pocket and used it to pull the boy’s hair out of his face.

At the mention of ‘home’, Billy’s eyes finally focused and a look of fear crossed his features before he moaned again, turning his attention back to worshipping the porcelain goddess.

Julianna rubbed his back in a way she hoped was comforting as Billy retched, coughed and gagged.

“My dad is going to fucking kill me if I go home like this,” he slurred.

“Wouldn’t you be in more trouble if you didn’t go home at all?” Julianna questioned softly, recalling the look of terror on her sister’s face when she shook Neil Hargrove’s hand. Which, come to think of it, still hadn’t been explained to her.

Billy took a steadying breath. “As long as I get Max to school on time, he doesn’t care where I sleep.”

“Okay, then it’s settled. You’re coming home with me. Done puking yet, or do you need a few more minutes?”

\---

Billy awoke to sunshine trying to blind him through his closed eyelids. He was aware of a dull thudding in his head, leading him to believe he drank a _little_ too much last night. He took a deep breath in an attempt to stave off the nausea he felt creeping up on him when he realized he wasn’t in his own bed.

A wave of panic washed over him; he had never gone home with a girl and spent the night, preferring to get dressed and leave before they could even _think_ about cuddling. Worse still, he had zero recollection of the previous night past Tommy harassing him into a keg stand.

Speaking of cuddling, he was suddenly aware that he had his arm wrapped around muscular thighs. His heart pounded harder and Billy hoped he could pretend to be asleep a little while longer so he could come up with a plan. How on earth was he going to shake off the girl he was currently wrapped up in? Clearly, she was going to think he wanted more from her than just a hookup and his cloudy brain was struggling to come up with ideas.

Billy had a million thoughts running through his head when he realized he recognized the scent permeating his nostrils. Vanilla, caramel, and patchouli; warm mixed with something a little spicy. _Julianna._

He relaxed a bit, thankful it wasn’t Cheryl or another one of the bubblegum Barbies. He ventured a peek at her through one eye, finding her sitting against her headboard reading a book. She was wearing a tiny pair of sleep shorts and an oversized shirt with the sleeves torn off all the way down her ribs, revealing a sports bra. Looking up, Billy could see a thin scar running along her jaw, stopping just before her chin.

She must’ve felt his gaze because she turned her head towards him and gave him a warm smile. “Morning sleepyhead.”

He groaned in acknowledgment as he removed his arm and stretched out, eyes fluttering closed. He felt awful, this was the worst hangover he’d had in a long time. Billy opened his eyes to a cup being thrust in his direction. He took it and chugged the ice water greedily.

“There’s another cup on your other side. It won’t be as cold but there’s Advil there for you too,” Julianna said in an easy tone.

The blonde boy reached over to the bedside table and shook two pills from the bottle, swallowing them dry before polishing off the second glass of water. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the conversation they were about to have.

“Hey, Trouble, listen… about last night…”

“What about it?” Julianna met Billy’s eyes, brows furrowed in question.

“This isn’t… I wasn’t… I don’t know what you expect from me now… I’m not that type of guy…” Billy stumbled over his words, unsure of how to even articulate what he was trying to say. He was never one to stutter and he was getting frustrated.

“What type of - oh my god. You think we fucked last night?” Julianna asked incredulously.

“Did we not?” he asked cautiously. Anger flashed through him as Julianna burst out laughing. He was about to ask her what was so funny when she finally caught her breath.

“I’m sorry to disappoint, Peaches, but I’m not into sexual assault... or necrophilia for that matter,” she explained between giggles.

Now Billy was more confused than angry.

“What?”

“You were barely coherent when I found you in Tina’s bathroom last night and you explicitly told me you didn’t want to go home so I brought you here, where you immediately passed out and have been dead to the world ever since,” Julianna explained as she got up off her bed and gestured towards an open bathroom door. “There’s clean towels in my bathroom and mouthwash under the sink, go get cleaned up. You smell like a brewery. I’m gonna go grab your jeans from the dryer.”

Billy threw the comforter off himself to reveal a pair of baggy black sweatpants covering himself and looked back up at Julianna with a huge smirk and a raised eyebrow. She flushed a deep red and covered her face with both hands.

“I didn’t look, I swear! Maybe you should start wearing underwear and not puking all over yourself!” she exclaimed, cheeks still pink and refusing to meet Billy’s eyes.

“Commando is kinda my thing, Trouble. Was I really that bad last night?” he questioned, more to himself than the embarrassed girl standing in front of him.

“Yes, you were. I couldn’t even wake you up for school, it’s like you were in a coma,” Julianna answered nonchalantly, thankful for the change of topic.

Billy’s heart felt like it fell out through his ass. “ **What?!** What time is it?!”

He went to jump out of bed when a pair of small hands gripped his shoulders tightly, stopping him.

“Don’t freak out! Max got to school on time, your dad thinks you drove her. It’s just after 10:30. I called the school pretending to be Susan and said you were sick. Everything is fine, Billy,” Julianna reassured him quickly.

Billy’s shoulders slumped in relief, but only for a moment.

“May I ask _how_ Neil thinks I drove Max?” he asked lowly, already dreading the answer. Billy’s use of his father’s name didn’t escape Julianna’s notice.

“I put on a huge hoodie, boosted myself on some cushions, put some sunglasses on and sat outside your house and honked until Max came out,” Julianna explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I had Sophie call your house to let Max know the plan so she was pretty much already at the door waiting. You really owe her one, you know.”

“ ** _YOU DROVE MY CAR?!_** ” Billy exploded at her, fire burning in his tired eyes. She dropped her hands from his shoulders but otherwise didn’t even flinch, which only served to enrage him more.

“Jeez, Peaches. You should know that if you were gonna trust anyone behind the wheel of your baby, it should be me. I took good care of her, I promise,” Julianna responded in a tone so calm, it immediately made Billy reevaluate his outburst. She wasn’t about to take any shit from him and he knew it. She also made a good point, she knew how much he loved his Camaro because she loved her Barracuda just the same.

Billy sighed and rubbed his face, wondering to himself when he’d gone so soft. _Oh yeah_ , the moment he drank himself into oblivion. _That’s_ when.

“And to clarify, I drove your car twice. Once back from the party and the second time to take the girls to school.”

He shot Julianna a deadly glare but the girl remained unphased. “Why? You could’ve taken your own car home and left mine there.”

Julianna snorted. “Because if you were gonna hurl in anyone’s car, I preferred it to be your own.” She caught his alarmed look and quickly continued, “but you didn’t. It’s all good. Not to mention, I’ve wanted to get behind the wheel of that Camaro since I laid eyes on it. Excuse my selfishness.”

Billy begrudgingly accepted her answer and got up to shower. Before he could close the door, Julianna stopped him.

“I bet you’re starving, are pancakes and bacon okay?”

\---

Billy emerged from the shower to find his jeans and a t-shirt neatly folded on the counter waiting for him. He pulled both on, checked himself out in the mirror, and was momentarily taken aback. The Metallica tour t-shirt Julianna left him was identical to the one he bought at their show this past August. In fact, he would’ve sworn it was his if it weren’t a size smaller; slightly tight over his chest and arms.

He shook the water out of his hair, used some of Julianna’s deodorant, and exited the bathroom. Billy took the opportunity to have a look around Julianna’s room while she was downstairs cooking. He looked out the window first, determining he was in a standard middle-class neighborhood. _Good_ , he thought. He had hoped she wasn’t a rich bitch. Not that it mattered, of course.

That meant that Julianna’s bedroom must be the master, given the size and the attached bathroom. The room was relatively understated; walls painted a light grey with bedsheets to match. Her bed was a queen with books stacked haphazardly on the side tables. He noticed a pair of oversized aviator reading glasses sitting on one of the books; she probably looked cute in them. Again, not that it mattered.

Billy’s eyes landed on a yellow surfboard leaning against a corner, which piqued his interest instantly. He wondered why on earth Julianna would have one while living in a landlocked state. He sold his own to a buddy before moving out to this shithole, figuring that cigarette money was more important than a useless surfboard.

He continued to let his eyes wander, finding a record player sitting on her dresser with a crate of records on the floor beside it. Billy flicked through them and found that they shared a very similar taste in music; Metallica, Motley Cru, Ratt, Slayer; all of his favorites were there. He hummed quietly in appreciation.

Finally, he turned his attention to her desk. It was messy, with homework scattered across it. However, what caught his eye was a photo album sitting on top of everything, labeled ‘Summer ‘84’. Never being one to respect people’s privacy, Billy started flipping through the pages. The polaroids were all organized by date with the location scrawled on the bottom. June and July were relatively uneventful; photos at various parties in Hawkins, a road trip to Chicago, a day spent with her sister in Indianapolis.

However, the scenery changed when he reached August. There were various polaroids documenting beautiful landscapes across the country. He turned the page and found photos of Julianna with a group of people he didn’t recognize, posing in front of the ocean in… _Venice Beach?!_

Billy’s heart started pounding as he continued to flip through the album. Julianna and her friends on the beach posing with their surfboards, at a local diner, on the boardwalk, drinking around a bonfire in the sand… it was as if he was seeing his own summer through her photos. Homesickness gripped him hard and he had to take a deep breath to calm himself, fight back the tears that were threatening.

Billy couldn’t help but notice how painfully happy Julianna looked. He’d seen her smile and laugh and joke but he hadn’t seen the happiness that was so obviously radiating out of her in those photographs.

By now, he was almost at the end of the album. The last few pages appeared to be dedicated to a surfing excursion at the crack of dawn. Photos of Julianna and a few other cute girls in wetsuits running towards the waves, surfboards under their arms as the rising sun shone on their backs. Billy noticed there was a photo missing out of one of the last pages. He briefly wondered where it was when a voice interrupted him.

“Find anything interesting?”

Billy jumped slightly and turned to find Julianna leaning against the doorway. He had no idea how long she’d been standing there.

“Where’s the missing picture?” was the first thing he thought to say.

“Used it for a school assignment. Art class. Never got it back,” Julianna shrugged. “Now come eat, food’s done.”

Billy followed Julianna downstairs, noting that she hadn’t changed out of the shorts and shirt she was wearing earlier. He took the opportunity to check her out, appreciating her backside as she bounced down the stairs.


	8. Hotel California

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'She nearly fell on top of Billy, who still hadn’t gotten up off her bed. Her heart rate quickened as she tried to untangle herself from him but he wouldn’t let her go. Billy had his arms loosely wrapped around Julianna’s waist as she straddled his midsection, holding her in place but otherwise not making any moves.'
> 
> Unintentional bonding because Billy is too curious.

Julianna slid a plate stacked high with pancakes toward Billy at the kitchen island. They were sitting side by side with a plate of bacon and a bowl of strawberries between them. She watched the boy out of the corner of her eye, silently appreciating the sight as she ate.

Billy was inhaling his food like he hadn’t eaten in weeks, occasionally making little noises of enjoyment that caused Julianna’s insides to clench. She couldn’t help but wonder what he would sound like under _different_ circumstances.

She decided that this was probably the most gorgeous she’d ever seen him; barefoot, wavy hair still wet from the shower, her t-shirt tight over his chest. He was just so effortlessly beautiful; no need for all the hairspray and strategically curated outfits. Her heart stuttered and butterflies fluttered around her stomach as she watched Billy.

Julianna was suddenly extremely aware of how her hair was piled messily on top of her head, in ratty pajamas and no makeup to hide the circles under her eyes.

She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Hey, uh, after we eat, would you mind driving me back to my car?”

“Sure.”

They ate in silence for a few more minutes. Julianna was grateful that Billy wasn’t big on small talk. She hated that shit. She was hyperaware of her knee against his thigh as they sat; every time she moved, he would subconsciously match it so as not to break the physical contact.

Julianna was confused. Isn’t it supposed to be that the more time you spent with someone, the better you got to know them? The more time she spent with Billy, the more questions she had about him. Apparently, he was thinking the same thing.

“So,” Billy began as he swallowed a bite of pancake, “I gotta ask. What prompts a 16-year-old from Hicktown, Indiana to drive across the country without parental supervision?”

“Bold of you to assume I’m from Hawkins, Hargrove.” He raised an eyebrow at her in question.

“I actually grew up on the west coast of Canada. We moved here before I started freshman year. I love the ocean and I wanted to see it again,” Julianna explained wistfully.

“You know there’s a closer ocean in the other direction, right?” Billy teased.

Green eyes glared. “Yes, genius. I’m aware. I hear the surfing isn’t as good.”

“Fair enough. How did you get your mom to let you go?”

Julianna snorted. “Another bold assumption. I told her I was leaving in a note. Stole her truck too,” she laughed, “stupid surfboard wouldn’t fit in the ‘Cuda.”

“A rebel, I see.” Billy was impressed.

“It’s a little more complicated than that,” came the mumble in reply. The following silence was interpreted as her cue to continue. She sighed deeply before doing so, regretting saying anything to begin with.

“My mom moved us here after she left my stepdad; Sophie’s dad. Guess she was depressed; working more and more all the time. She started off coming home every weekend, now she comes home like, four times a year maybe. I spent months begging her to come home during every phone call. Sophie was turning into a bratty preteen and I didn’t know how to handle that. Hard to be a mom when you still need a mom, you know?” Julianna didn’t wait for an answer before continuing, refusing to meet Billy’s eyes.

“I was just so. Fucking. Tired. Tired of being the adult, tired of being responsible. I was forced to put my life on hold to raise my sister. I was pissed off; probably still am. So when mom told us she was coming home for three weeks in August, I called my old friends and made some plans. I was originally supposed to go back to Canada but I couldn’t find my passport. Didn’t really change anything though, just our destination. And that’s how I ended up in Venice Beach for two weeks.”

Julianna peered up at Billy, dreading his reaction. He was staring at her with an unreadable expression.

“I’m so sorry,” she laughed awkwardly, “I didn’t mean to… unload on you like that.” She quickly started cleaning up their plates and putting things away. Julianna was putting butter and syrup back in the fridge when Billy finally spoke, so quiet she wasn’t even sure she heard him at first.

“I grew up in Venice Beach.”

She turned. Green eyes met blue ones, searching. For what? She wasn’t sure.

“You miss it?”

“Life was just…”

“Easier?” Julianna tentatively finished for him.

Billy ignored her, opting to switch topics instead. “How much shit were you in when you got home?” he asked with a snort, poorly masking discomfort.

She was starting to get whiplash. Just when Julianna thought she was breaking through, he would add another brick to the wall he built around himself.

“Oh, my mom was _pissed_. But what could she do? Ground me? Take away the car I paid for?” she gave a half-hearted laugh. “She went back to work two days after I got home and I haven’t seen her since.”

“That’s fucked up.” Julianna knew he was responding to her whole story, not just the last thing she said. The simplicity of his response was oddly comforting.

Julianna shrugged. “Everyone’s fighting their own battle. Guess this is mine.”

Those words would be bouncing around Billy’s head for a long time to come.

\---

Julianna sauntered out of the shower dressed in jeans and a knit sweater to find Billy checking himself out in her full-length mirror, her freshly made bed behind him.

 _He made my bed for me?_ She smiled to herself, didn’t mention it because she knew he’d be embarrassed. _What a weirdo._

“You know, Trouble, I don’t think you’re getting this shirt back,” he said as he flexed his arms, shirt stretching around his biceps.

Julianna giggled, admiring Billy's reflection. “Looks better on you anyway. But it does have sentimental value so I _would_ like it back at some point.”

“You went to the show in LA?”

“Indeed I did,” Julianna confirmed.

“It was awesome, right?” The two blondes looked at each other, almost as if seeing the other for the first time, perhaps noting subconsciously that fate seemed determined to bring them together.

“You were there?” Billy nodded. “Weird coincidence.” A comfortable silence fell until Julianna spoke up a few minutes later.

“I don’t know if you know this but there’s basketball practice today after school,” she said absently as she tore through wet hair with a comb.

“How’d you know I’m on the team?” Billy asked with a sly smile. “You stalking me?”

“Cheer practice is at the same time as basketball, we overhear things. You know, grapevine,” Julianna said, refusing to tell Billy she actually heard it from Steve.

“You don’t strike me as a cheerleader.”

“Oh?”

“Not prissy enough,” Billy said matter-of-factly.

Julianna gave a short laugh. “I was a gymnast back home. In this shithole cheer is the closest thing,” she explained.

“So you can like, do the splits and stuff?” Julianna nodded slowly, confused. “Can I see?”

“Oh, Peaches,” she said mockingly, “Cheryl is also on the team. I’m sure she’d be more than happy to demonstrate for you. So is Tina, actually.”

“Tina? What?” Billy asked incredulously, sitting up so suddenly he got dizzy.

“Fuck, you really remember nothing?” The blank look on Billy’s face told Julianna everything she needed to know. “The last time I saw you before finding you on the bathroom floor, you were sucking face with the host in the kitchen. You may not remember your little tryst but I guarantee that’s all she’s talking about.”

Billy fell back into the pillows, groaning. “So what else happened last night?”

“Hm… Let’s see,” Julianna pretended to be thinking, “you demolished Steve’s previous keg stand record by a whopping 6 seconds, earning you the title of Keg King. You made out with Tina, not sure if you did anything else with her. Or anyone for that matter. Cheryl seemed upset too. Maybe it’s best you didn’t go to school today.”

She omitted their dance, assuming he just wanted to hear about anything gossip-worthy.

“Did anyone see me leaving?” Billy asked.

“Yeah, few people did. But you somehow made it out to your car on your own two feet, people are just gonna think we went home together. Which, technically we did,” Julianna answered honestly.

“If anyone asks me, I’m gonna tell them we hooked up, you know that right?”

“I will too, pretty boy. You’re not the only one with a reputation to maintain.”

“It’s not too late, you know,” Billy turned to Julianna with a smug smile.

“For…?”

“Hooking up,” he said as if it were obvious.

Julianna rolled her eyes. “Tempting, tempting. But it’s almost one. We need to get going if we want to make it to practice on time.”

“I don’t care about missing practice, I can get my exercise in _other_ ways,” came Billy’s suggestive reply.

“Well, I do. Let’s get moving, Peaches.” Julianna started for her bedroom door, only to be pulled back sharply by the wrist.

She nearly fell on top of Billy, who still hadn’t gotten up off her bed. Her heart rate quickened as she tried to untangle herself from him but he wouldn’t let her go. Billy had his arms loosely wrapped around Julianna’s waist as she straddled his midsection, holding her in place but otherwise not making any moves. He was just smiling up at her wordlessly. _Waiting for me?_ Julianna’s breathing hitched and it took every ounce of restraint she had not to kiss him. He was so warm and comfortable, their bodies slotted together as if they were two matching puzzle pieces. She chose not to dwell on it.

Instead, she reached around to his sides slowly with a devious glint in her eyes. “You ticklish, Hargrove?”

Billy’s eyes widened in panic for a moment before he composed himself. “No.” The word came out strained. Julianna knew she had him.

“Is. That. So?” she asked him, every word punctuated by a poke in his ribs. He all but threw her off him and immediately bounded out the door and down the stairs, Julianna’s laughter following him all the way down.


	9. Paranoid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'He couldn’t do this. Whatever this was. Denial was a comfortable home he built himself and he was more than happy to continue living in it. Nothing was wrong. He was fine.'
> 
> Billy avoids introspection and faces some rumors. Julianna has an important conversation with Max.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far, this chapter is my favourite. Picking Billy's brain is my new favourite hobby.

“You know, this is kinda unfair, Trouble.”

Billy was drumming on his steering wheel to the tune of Led Zeppelin, watching Julianna mouthing the lyrics of Immigrant Song in his peripheral vision when a thought struck him.

“What is?” Julianna turned to look at him. Regretted acknowledging him when he smirked at her. A smirk that, had she been standing, probably would’ve made her knees buckle.

“You’ve already seen me naked and I haven’t had the pleasure. That’s a huge power imbalance right there.”

 _There it is._ That’s why she shouldn’t have said anything.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, B, but last night was in no way a ‘pleasure’ for me. I don’t exactly get my rocks off undressing unconscious dudes.”

But Billy was undaunted and shameless. His smirk only grew as his gaze returned to the road ahead. _How aggravating._ If it had been her that was passed out and required undressing, Julianna would have _died_ of embarrassment. Not that Billy had anything to be embarrassed about, that was for sure. He was nice to look at and he knew it.

“Well, then let me make it up to you.”

Julianna sighed deeply. “Maybe someday I will.”

“What?” came the shocked response.

“I said, maybe someday I will let you make it up to me.” Julianna leaned back against the seat and buried her face in the crook of her elbow, hoping Billy possessed some semblance of self-control because hers was rapidly slipping. She was about ready to jump him right then and there, road safety be damned.

“When?”

“When you impress me, Peaches,” Julianna answered in an annoyed voice, still covering her eyes. That wasn’t entirely true. Julianna had slept with guys who had a lot less to offer. But she was curious about how far Billy was willing to go for this, for her.

“How do I do that?”

She could hear the smile in his voice. Julianna huffed another sigh before lowering her arm and looking at him.

“It wouldn’t be very impressive if I told you, would it?”

“Fair point. I like a challenge,” Billy shrugged as he turned the music back up.

\---

Billy was fucked. _So fucking fucked._ He rubbed his face in exasperation as he headed for his locker to grab his gym bag, avoiding the hordes of students leaving for the day.

 _‘I like a challenge’_ he mentally mocked himself. _You stupid fuck._

 **No** , he fucking didn’t. He liked easy chicks who would go upstairs with him at parties. The only time Billy was willing to put forth any effort with girls was when he was already between their thighs. That’s the only place where the legwork mattered.

So then _why_ was he so interested in pursuing whatever the hell was going on between him and Julianna?

She wasn’t even his type. That went back to the “easy” thing. Julianna was _not easy_ , despite whatever Tommy said. Billy liked when girls were predictable; he knew what lines worked, he knew just how and when to lower his voice and his gaze, he knew when to smile, smirk or pout to get them to drop their panties for him. It was routine and it was comfortable, albeit a little boring.

The green-eyed blonde was not that. While it was evident that she was into him, she evaded him at every pass. She never outright rejected him, keeping Billy hanging on by returning his flirtations with equal filth and vigor, always touching him… or was he always touching her? He didn’t even know anymore, _goddamn it._

Billy yanked his bag from his locker and slammed the door shut hard, scaring a small group of freshmen loitering nearby. He gave a dry, self-satisfied chuckle when they jumped.

This whole thing was supposed to be fun. When he thought back to how he wanted to _drag this one out_ , he meant for like, a week or some shit.

Well, two days in and it wasn’t fun anymore. They actually had things in _common_. He had inadvertently let himself into her life and started opening up old wounds. Billy was bleeding again. Didn’t take the time to realize that the bleeding didn't hurt. He never should’ve opened that fucking album.

He couldn’t do this. Whatever _this_ was. Denial was a comfortable home he built himself and he was more than happy to continue living in it. Nothing was wrong. He was _fine_. And Billy believed it. He didn’t want some girl to bring his drunk ass home, or cook him breakfast, or share her weed, or chocolate or whatever else. Because sooner or later, she would ask him for something he couldn’t deliver on. Something in _return_.

Billy thought briefly of all the girls who he made cry. All the ones who thought they could change him, _fix_ him, make him love them.

_Fat fucking chance._

There was no guilt. Billy always made his intentions clear to the girls he fucked. They did it to themselves.

But sometimes, when he laid in bed at night, unable to sleep and feeling claustrophobic in the enveloping darkness, Billy fantasized. Fantasized about having somewhere to go, someone to turn to, someone to hold onto. He’d fall asleep to thoughts of a smile he’d never seen before. But when morning came, the fantasy left with the darkness. He’d sooner cut off his own hand than put his faith in another human being.

The place in Billy’s soul where trust should’ve been, self-hatred and anger blossomed, bloomed, grew into thick, black, suffocating vines that wound around his heart, gripping tight.

But every time Julianna smiled at him, those vines loosened their hold just the tiniest bit. In her presence, his entire body thrummed with energy; electricity.

At first, Billy thought it was from excitement, but now it was plausible that it was from terror. He didn’t like not knowing what would happen next, it scared him and Billy Hargrove hated being afraid.

And so, he allowed anger to fill him instead; greeted the heat in his bones and the tingling in his fingers as if they were old friends; roommates in his house of denial. Finding comfort in something he knew.

\---

“Well if it isn’t the man of the hour!” Tommy greeted him excitedly, clapping him on the back as he entered the locker room. Billy had to clench his fist to keep from breaking Tommy’s hand.

“What’d I miss today?” he addressed the packed room, stifling the desire to hit something.

“Two bitches fighting over you, color me impressed,” one of the sleazier boys on the team said suggestively. He was there at lunch yesterday and at the party but Billy couldn’t remember his name.

“Take notes, fellas,” Billy spoke in a haughty tone; girls fighting over him was par for the course.

“So…” Tommy began, dragging out the word like he expected him to say something more.

“So?”

“Oh come _on_ , man. You know what I’m asking. How was she?” Tommy looked like a kid on Christmas; practically bouncing up and down in undisguised anticipation.

It was disgusting, actually. Billy had a growing suspicion that the reason Tommy hated Julianna so much was because she rejected him at some point. He was way too invested in this.

“A gentleman never tells, Tommyboy.”

“Well, good thing we both know you’re the farthest thing from a gentleman, Hargrove.” He still wore that filthy grin on his face.

Billy took a moment to mentally construct the most believable lie possible, wondering how much detail he should include. He had just opened his mouth to speak when a voice spoke up from the far corner of the locker room.

“Who are we even talking about?” Steve Harrington looked confused. Looked like he knew the answer but didn’t want to hear it.

“The _Keg Queen_ , obviously. Billy went home with her last night.” Tommy still couldn’t shut the fuck up, talking about Billy’s not-lay like it was him who went home with her. Billy was starting to see red. Who the hell gave Tommy the right to speak for him?

Steve’s face screwed up. Whether that was in confusion or alarm, Billy couldn’t tell.

“Julianna? Julianna Janzen? Went home with _you_? I _highly_ doubt that.”

Now Billy was definitely seeing red. Blood red.

“Fuck is that supposed to mean, Harrington?” Billy seethed, yanking a muscle shirt over his head so hard he heard stitches splinter.

“She’s too good for you, bro,” Steve shrugged nonchalantly as he walked out toward the gym.

That was it. He needed an outlet and Steve Harrington’s face would do just fine. Billy finished tying his Converse and bounded out the locker room door after Steve but Tommy stopped him.

“Man, was the pussy really so good, you’d kill Harrington over it?” the freckled boy smirked.

“It was alright. What’s it to you, Hagan?” Billy deflected, eyeing the doorway Steve had exited as the rest of the team filtered out.

“Nothin’ man, nothin’. It’s just that… I wouldn’t get caught up in that shit if I were you.”

Billy’s eyes narrowed. “What shit?”

“Janzen! The bitch is fucking _crazy_. I’m not even sure she’s entirely human. Like, get this. She walks in on her boyfriend balls deep in one of his classmates at a party and she does _nothing_. Just turned around and continued to dance and drink like nothing happened. She didn’t cry or scream or anything. Nothing normal chicks would do.” Tommy looked absolutely insane, eyes wide and arms flailing.

“And? Maybe she wasn’t into him. Big fuckin’ deal.”

“You’d stay with someone you weren’t into for over a year? I think not,” Tommy was acting like he was explaining astrophysics to a five-year-old. “She’s fucked up dude. Emotionless, like a robot or something. She chews people up and spits them out like they’re nothing.”

“I’m not seeing your point,” Billy sighed, starting for the door again. Tommy’s description of Julianna sounded wildly inaccurate but Billy barely knew the girl, he wasn’t about to argue. Not to mention, Julianna could take care of herself, she didn’t need someone defending her honor.

Tommy shrugged. “I’m just lookin’ out for you, bro.”

Billy spun around and grabbed Tommy by the shirt. He pulled him up so that his feet were barely touching the floor.

“Just because you’re scared of a five-foot-nothing girl who won’t fuck you, doesn’t mean I share the same concerns. She’s just like all the other bitches and if I can keep them in line, I can keep your _‘queen’_ under control too. Now stay the fuck out of my business.” Billy’s tone was menacing but the lie burned like acid in the back of his throat.

He unceremoniously dropped Tommy and stalked out of the locker room, the freckle-faced boy scrambling to follow.

\---

Julianna was sitting in her car smoking, trying to warm up against the cold November breeze while she waited for Sophie to finish AV Club. Cheer had ended early on account of the fact that the girls were much more focused on the boys’ game of shirts and skins pick-up than landing their stunts. In order to avoid serious injury, Julianna, the team captain, had decided that after reviewing some basic choreography, they would all head home. The little time the girls did spend practicing, Julianna had to keep Tina and Cheryl from tearing one another limb from limb. They had both simultaneously turned on her when Julianna reminded them that it takes two to tango; Billy played just as big of a role in the situation as any of them and that they were letting him off easy. That appeased the girls for the moment and they were back to whispering and making eyes at the pretty blonde boy together.

_What ever happened to feminism? To girls not bowing to the whims of men?_

She sighed and made a mental note to talk to the principal about moving practice so that there was no overlap; they needed more distraction free time to train. Evidently that wouldn’t happen on Thursdays, _especially_ not with Billy Hargrove flaunting his sweaty, naked chest for all to see.

The two had pointedly ignored each other over the course of their subsequent practices; or maybe it was just Julianna trying to ignore Billy, the latter seemed thoroughly distracted. Out of the corner of her eye, when she dared spare a glance in his direction, she could tell by his body language alone that he was angry. He was playing recklessly, pushing Steve around the court and purposely bumping into him, his loud cheering and jeering echoing through the gym. His movements were harsh, erratic, uncalculated and yet somehow he was dominating the court, sinking basket after basket, likely on muscle memory alone. To Julianna, Billy looked somewhat unhinged and she couldn’t help but wonder what happened between them getting out of their respective cars and walking into the gym for practice. _Have I done something wrong?_

Julianna had just lit a second cigarette, trying to force her thoughts anywhere but the person whose limbs she was tangled in that morning, when she noticed Joyce Byers’ little green Ford Pinto parked haphazardly on the middle school’s lawn. _Weird…_

Suddenly, Joyce burst through the front doors with her arms around her youngest son, who looked pale and afraid. Following not far behind was the rest of The Party, with Max and Sophie trailing out last. Julianna hopped out of her car and jogged over to the group of kids. Max was the first to speak.

“Okay, that totally freaked me out. Did that not freak you guys out?”

“Two episodes in two days,” Lucas mumbled.

“It’s getting worse,” Mike said, voice laced with concern.

“You think it’s True Sight?” Lucas asked Mike cryptically. Mike and Dustin both shot him dirty looks while Sophie shook her head minutely.

“What’s True Sight?” Max asked. Julianna was just as confused.

“It’s nothing,” Lucas backtracked.

“Okay, ladies. Let’s get you guys home,” Julianna threw an arm around both girls, leading them away from the awkward boys. Apparently Max had yet to be told about the events of the previous year.

By the time they got back to Julianna’s car, the girls were already giggling about unrelated things. Sophie noted Julianna’s car parked beside Billy’s, reminding her of something that annoyed her that morning.

“Why is it that you can skip school for no reason and I can’t?” Sophie huffed as she pulled her seat forward to let Max in.

“Because I wasn’t about to leave a comatose teenaged boy alone in my house,” Julianna glared at her sister as she started the car.

“Are you guys, like, dating? Or…?” Max asked, tone almost annoyed like she couldn’t even _imagine_ why someone would want to be around her stepbrother.

“No, I’m just a masochistic dumbass who saves drunken dickheads from their own bad decisions for fun,” Julianna bit out sarcastically. Sophie laughed, but Max did not.

“But you like him.” It wasn’t a question. Julianna rolled her eyes; she didn’t need another overly-observant preteen in her life. One was enough.

“For reasons unknown to me, yeah. I do like him.”

“But he’s an-”

“Asshole. Yeah, I’ve heard,” Julianna met the redhead’s eyes in the rearview mirror and smiled.

Max shifted uncomfortably in her seat and sighed, looking resigned. “He’s been so angry ever since we moved here. I mean, he's always been angry and rude but sometimes he’d do nice things for me. Like when he got the Camaro, he took me out for ice cream. Or a few months later when he took me to an empty parking lot and taught me how to drive. But as soon as we found out we were moving, it’s like he just lost control.”

“But you’re angry too,” Sophie said sympathetically.

“I guess, but I don’t take it out on the world,” Max agreed.

Julianna took a breath. She wasn’t sure she wanted to have this conversation but maybe what she’d learned over the years would help the little redhead.

“Max, do you mind if I tell you something?” Their eyes met once again in the rearview.

“What?”

“Anger is a secondary emotion. It’s an emotion people use to cover up vulnerability; like when they’re hurt, sad, embarrassed, or scared. The angrier they are, the more intensely they’re feeling those vulnerable feelings. You know what I mean?”

Max looked like she just had an epiphany; stunned into silence by Julianna’s words.

“But that doesn’t make it okay, Max. Do you understand that? Just because someone’s hurting, doesn’t give them the right to hurt others. But they have to want to change, remember that.”

“You say that like you know from experience.” Clearly, nothing got past Max.

Sophie snorted loudly. Julianna reached over to hit Sophie across the chest. Not enough for it to hurt but enough for a warning. Just then, they pulled up in front of the Hargrove-Mayfield house.

As Max got out of the car, she turned back to Julianna. “What made you want to change?”

The older blonde smirked, “how do you know it was me?” But her smile quickly fell, “I just wanted to stop being so damn lonely.” Max smiled knowingly and went to turn around but Julianna called after her.

“Billy is **not** your responsibility, Max.”

“I know,” Max shrugged noncommittally, “thanks for the ride, see you later Sophie!”


	10. Master of Puppets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'With trembling fingers, she quickly tucked the photo into the back of her notebook. Looking at it for any longer felt like voyeurism; a looking glass into an alternate dimension. A dimension unlike the Upside Down; one where she always felt safe and held and loved. A dimension unlike here.'
> 
> A whole rollercoaster of emotions in this one.

The phone was ringing as Julianna and Sophie stepped into their house. People rarely called so Julianna rushed into the hallway to answer.

“Hello?”

She probably didn’t even need a phone to hear Dani screeching. Everyone in Hawkins likely heard.

**“Why didn’t you tell me you were going home with Hargrove?! I thought we were friends!”**

“Jesus, Dani. Calm down,” Julianna breathed into the receiver.

“And why weren’t you two at school today? Tommy said you guys showed up to practice together. He just left, stopped by to share the gossip,” Dani was still rambling, though thankfully a little quieter now.

“If you want an answer, you’re gonna need to shut up for a second and let me speak.”

The following silence on the other end let Julianna know she was heard loud and clear. Dani wasn’t _really_ mad, just dramatic.

“Dani, I’m telling you the truth because you’re my friend. I don’t think Tommy, or anyone for that matter, will believe you if you repeat what I’m about to say but I don’t want to test the theory. Understand?”

“Ou, so it’s _really juicy_ , eh?”

Julianna snorted. “Actually, no. The opposite.”

The shock was evident in Dani’s voice. “What do you mean?”

“After I said bye to you guys last night, I went to go pee and found Billy in the upstairs bathroom looking _rough_. So I brought him back to my place to sleep it off and make sure he didn’t die.”

“Why didn’t you take him back to his own house?”

Julianna knew she’d already said too much.

“Well, I don’t know where he lives.” The lie came easier than expected for someone who prided themselves on blunt honesty. “He was too drunk to tell me.”

Dani knew her friend had something of a savior complex so the story was believable from that standpoint.

“I heard that people saw his Camaro this morning dropping off your sister and a little redhead.”

Julianna fucking hated small towns. People noticed _everything_.

“Yeah,” Julianna sighed. “That was me. I drove Sophie and Billy’s stepsister to school cause Hargrove was still unconscious. I left my car at Tina’s. Billy and I didn’t show up to practice ‘together’, we just pulled in at the same time because he had just taken me to pick the ‘Cuda up.”

“And you _swear_ nothing happened?”

“I swear. But I’m perfectly happy with people believing that it did.”

“I get that.”

“Knew you would.” Julianna smiled. “Listen, I gotta go start on dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course.” There was a short pause. “I, uh, have something for you. I’m not sure if you’re gonna want it or not but I was told to give it to you.”

The blonde narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “Am I allowed to know what it is?”

“It’s a picture. You’ll see tomorrow. Bye!” The line clicked off before Julianna had a chance to respond.

_What the hell?_

Sophie’s voice behind her made Julianna jump. “Why do you want people thinking you slept with Billy?” The brunette was standing in the archway that opened into the living room with a disgusted look on her face.

“I mean, technically I did _sleep_ with Billy.”

“You know what I mean, Julie. And no, you didn’t. I know for a fact you didn’t get a wink of sleep last night.”

Julianna huffed. Why did her sister know her so well? “Because it’s easier that way. For both of us. This conversation is over.” She walked past Sophie into the kitchen, pulling various ingredients for dinner.

Sophie followed and sat down at the breakfast bar with her homework, hoping to get it done before food was ready. She still had questions but knew better than to keep pushing.

“Sophie.” The little brunette looked up from her math textbook.

“Yeah?”

“What’s wrong with Will?” Julianna watched Sophie’s face drop.

“We don’t know.” The older girl looked at her disbelievingly.

“Try that again.”

Sophie took a deep breath.

“He’s been having these… episodes. That’s what happened at the school today. It happened last night too, Will left trick-or-treating early with Mike.” She purposely left out the part about Dart and his disappearance.

Julianna could see Will abandoning their favourite night of the year but Mike? That seemed awfully strange.

“ _Mike_ left early?”

Sophie rolled her eyes. “Yeah. He’s mad because he doesn’t want Max in the party. Apparently he’s the only one who can approve new party members.” The brunette’s voice was clipped in irritation.

“He’s still hurting over El, he’ll come around,” Julianna shrugged. “But anyway. Continue the story.”

“Okay, so I guess Will’s been seeing this new doctor from the lab, his name is Owen or something. He says Will is just suffering flashbacks but we think it’s something else.”

“Something else…?”

“True Sight. We think Will is connected to the Upside Down and he’s seeing what’s down there _now_ , not what he saw last year.”

Julianna nodded thoughtfully. Maybe the kids were onto something, stranger things have happened.

“I guess there isn’t much you can do though, right? Just be there for him.”

Sophie agreed disheartenedly. It was clear she was worried about her friend.

Julianna didn’t know if it was an appropriate time to change topics but the curiosity was absolutely killing her. She sniffed hard and Sophie’s brown eyes came up to meet her green ones.

“What happened at Max’s yesterday?”

The older girl made a point to continue preparing dinner, giving her sister the space she needed. Julianna watched Sophie tense out of the corner of her eye.

“Something bad is happening in that house, Julie. I know it.”

Julianna remained silent, not really needing to ask how Sophie knew.

“It was like everyone was waiting for something. Kind of like the seconds before a really bad car accident; like you know something bad will happen but you also know you can’t do anything to stop it.”

“Didn’t need superpowers to feel the tension, that’s for sure,” Julianna recalled. “It’s Mr. Hargrove, isn’t it?”

Pieces were falling into place faster than Julianna could process. She thought of herself on the beach a while a tidal wave rolled towards her, knowing there was no use in running; she’d been there before. Sophie took another deep breath.

“Yeah. I mean…” Tears welled in her eyes and for a moment, Sophie looked like a child. Her big sister regularly forgot that fact; that Sophie was just a kid. Julianna walked around the breakfast bar and did the only thing she could for her little sister in that moment. She wrapped Sophie up in a huge hug, focusing on remaining calm. The little girl’s eyes opened wearily and she hastily wiped the tears away.

“I’m sorry it’s just that -“

“We don’t have to talk about this, Soph,” Julianna soothed.

“Yes. We do.” Resolve strengthened. Another breath, shaky this time. “When I shook Mr. Hargrove’s hand, I felt _nothing_. Just empty and cold. Robotic, like he’s going through the motions of life without really experiencing them. I haven’t felt that since -“

“Don’t say it. I’ve heard enough.”

“What are we going to do?” Sophie’s voice was so small.

“Nothing, Sophie. We don’t even know for sure if he’s hurting them. Maybe Max will tell you as she grows to trust you more.” Julianna hesitated, “in the meantime, let her know that if she ever needs somewhere to go, she can always come here.”

“And what about Billy?”

Julianna thought for a moment. “I don’t know. It’s not like we’re friends. We sit together in Geography. Doesn’t seem like the poster child for trust and honesty.”

“You want to help him though.”

“You and Max are equally annoying, you know that?”

“Sorry,” Sophie muttered, not sounding sorry at all. She turned back to her homework and Julianna continued cooking.

The quiet didn’t last long. “Is it okay if I tell Max about me? About last year?”

Julianna took a deep breath. “If she’s going to join The Party, she has to know.”

Sophie looked triumphant.

“ **But** you need to make sure everyone else is okay with you telling her about last year. Thirteen is your story but the Upside Down isn’t.”

“Lucas and Dustin already wanna tell her. Will doesn’t care. Mike is the one who’s throwing a tantrum over it,” Sophie huffed.

“He’s an annoying, self-righteous little shit.” Julianna was never Mike’s biggest fan. Her little sister giggled at the insult.

The two sisters fell into a comfortable silence, sharing each other’s company. After dinner, Julianna cleaned up, bid her sister goodnight, and practically fell face first into bed.

She soon fell into a deep sleep where she dreamt of stormy seas swirling in eyes framed by thick lashes, tears brimming over as the waves crashed.

\---

The following morning, Dani watched as Julianna pulled into a parking spot near the front of the lot and let her sister out, earlier than usual. Julianna noticed her quickly and waved her over.

Dani jogged over to her friend and the pair sauntered to the back of the school to smoke, away from the prying eyes of teachers.

“Did you talk to Steve at practice yesterday?” Dani asked.

“No, Stevie was busy getting his ass handed to him by Hargrove… Seemed distracted though,” Julianna paused, gauged the look on Dani’s face. “Why?”, she questioned suspiciously, drawing out the word.

“He and Nancy broke up yesterday, I guess. Apparently Jonathan was the one who took Nance home Wednesday night, and she didn’t even remember it.”

Julianna’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh god…” She took a long drag of her cigarette.

“Yeah, I figured I’d let you know before you heard it from someone else. Or before shit gets _real_ awkward at lunch,” Dani snorted.

“Good call,” Julianna nodded. “We both knew it was coming and yet somehow I’m still surprised.”

“Right? Didn’t expect Jonathan to finally grow a set, good on him.”

Julianna made a small noise of agreement before the girls turned their attention to their smokes. After a few minutes, Dani dropped hers and began reaching in her backpack.

“You know how I said I had something for you?”

“Yeah, a picture. From who?”

Dani was rifling through half-filled notebooks and a binder jammed with grid paper as Julianna looked on in amusement.

“I don’t know who took it, Jenny Matheson handed it to me during second period yesterday. She has photography first period and found it hanging in the darkroom. Said it looked ‘too personal’ and didn’t want it to end up in the ‘wrong hands’.”

“Not sure if that’s creepy or sweet,” Julianna huffed at Dani, who was still digging. “Can you just show me already?” Patience was wearing thin.

“If I could fucking find it, I would!” Dani snapped back. Took another moment. “A-ha! Found it!” A face full of freckles appeared as she pulled a photograph out from between the pages of a notebook. She admired it for a second, “it’s actually a really good picture.”

Julianna snatched it from between Dani’s fingers. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting but it certainly wasn’t this.

It was a photograph of her and Billy at the party. Someone had managed to snap a picture of them dancing. It was the moment Billy had dipped her, smiles stretching their mouths wide, eyes sparkling and alive. Faces so close that the pendant on his chain was resting in the hollow of her throat. Looking at the two of them together, Julianna understood what Jenny meant by ‘too personal’. It felt as if she were an outsider peeking into an extremely intimate moment between two people. They were locking eyes, slotted into each other as if it wasn’t gravity holding them to the earth but the other person.

Julianna barely recognized herself. She didn’t even remember a camera flash. With trembling fingers, she quickly tucked the photo into the back of her notebook. Looking at it for any longer felt like voyeurism; a looking glass into an alternate dimension. A dimension unlike the Upside Down; one where she always felt safe and held and loved. A dimension unlike here. It was Julianna’s turn to bleed. But for her, it hurt like a cut from a dull, rusty knife. Hurt so badly she lost her breath for a moment and her stomach did some precarious acrobatics.

“Thanks, Dan. You're absolutely sure you didn't see who took it? You were right there,” Julianna asked, successfully keeping her voice even despite being able to feel her heart pounding in her fingertips and toes.

Dani zipped her bag back up and shrugged. “No, I think I remember a flash but that's it.” Paused for a moment. “You gonna keep it?”

“Well, I’m certainly not throwing it out on school property. Too many nosey assholes,” Julianna sighed. Lies by omission were her favourite types of lies.

Dani looked at her suspiciously and Julianna felt hot for a second, but was saved by the bell a moment later and the two girls headed off in opposing directions.

\---

That morning, Billy seriously contemplated skipping first period. Every fiber of his being was screaming for him to just hide out in his car smoking until second. Ultimately though, he decided against it. He’d be damned if he skipped a class to avoid a girl.

_How ridiculous. How unlike him. He was Billy Hargrove, goddamn it._

So he strutted into class, winked at some of the cute girls, and took his seat. A couple of them worked up the nerve to approach him before the bell but a change in the atmosphere of the room made them reevaluate. Billy was disappointed, he was looking forward to the distraction. That disappointment rapidly morphed into anger when he saw the reason for the girls’ change of heart.

Julianna walked into class, head down and arms wrapped around her body in what Billy understood to be a defensive position, all the confidence and self-assurance she’d previously possessed looked like it had been drained from her body. She sat down next to him without acknowledging his presence, pulled out her notebook, and with forced nonchalance, assumed her usual pose. Legs stretched out in front of her and crossed at the ankle.

Most people wouldn’t have noticed the way her body slightly curled in, making herself as small as possible. Or how her fingers trembled slightly when reaching for her pencil. Or how she was taking such great care to avoid even accidentally brushing up against him.

But Billy noticed. He noticed everything. He was suddenly swept with the desire to comfort her, ask her what’s wrong. He pushed those feelings down so violently within himself that he visibly shuddered, earning a sidelong glance from the girl next to him. Neither said anything.

After attendance, in his usual sarcastic fashion, Kowalsky called the pair out in front of the class. Much to their distaste.

“Mr. Hargrove, Miss Janzen. I’m sure you both have a _wonderful_ reason for missing class yesterday, so let me get you up to speed.” Snorts, giggles, and whispers sounded through the classroom.

“Yesterday,” the greying man continued, ignoring his other pupils, “I assigned a partnered project in which students prepare a 3 minute presentation about a natural disaster in American history and teach it to their classmates. I allowed the students to choose partners but since you two are the only ones who were missing yesterday, you will finish it together.” More snickers throughout the room. Julianna rolled her eyes.

She should’ve been terrified at the prospect of spending more time with Billy, she knew that. But all she felt was relief. This was probably what shooting heroin felt like after being deep in withdrawal; you know it’s going to kill you someday and it would be more beneficial to wait out the pain but it feels too fucking good for you to care. Her breath came easier and her posture relaxed, minute changes that, once again, were not beyond Billy’s notice.

Kowalsky was watching the pair as if to gauge their reaction. He wasn’t deaf; he heard the whispers and rumors floating around the school. But unfortunately, his taste for some drama was left unsatisfied, as neither Julianna nor Billy gave anything away about their feelings regarding the arrangement. He sighed.

“You’ve been assigned the 1974 Super Outbreak, all the information is in the textbook. Everyone presents on Monday.” And then he began his lecture.

Billy watched Julianna take her notes in green gel pen, the same colour as her eyes. The way her hand glided across the page, looping in a wide, bubbly cursive was mesmerizing. He forced his attention back to his own blank page, having completely lost track of Kowalsky’s lesson.

Julianna must’ve noticed his confusion because she popped a recently finished page out of her binder and set it between them for Billy to copy. Billy huffed a loud breath and shoved the page back in Julianna’s direction.

 _Fuck. That._ He didn’t need her help. Didn’t want it either. Never asked. Wasn’t interested.

When the bell released them, Kowalsky was the first one out. Julianna turned to Billy. “Library after school today? I work all weekend.” Tone was all business.

 _Absolutely not._ The last thing Billy needed was to be seen with Julianna in public. It was obvious her mere presence was scaring away all his prospective lays.

“Actually Trouble, I was hoping you’d take one for the team and do it yourself. I’m booked solid now till Sunday, you can write me up some little cue cards to read or something,” Billy turned up the fake charm, looked down to appear coy but there was an edge to his voice, a condescending anger.

“No.”

“Then I guess it’s not getting done.”

“Guess not,” Julianna deadpanned, as she stepped around him and headed for the door along with the rest of her classmates.

Not what Billy was expecting. He was expecting begging, bargaining, bribing, _something_. Slightly panicked, he turned and grabbed her by the shoulder, as gently as he could muster. Julianna stopped and slowly turned back around.

“Does that not bother you?” he asked stupidly.

“Why would it?” Julianna was unperturbed. “I have a 3.7 GPA. I’m obnoxious and talk too much in class, and that’s if I even show up. But for some reason, teachers love me. They _respect_ me. They know I work hard, I can make up the grade elsewhere. You have more to lose and you know it. A damn shame, really. I hear Coach wanted to make you point guard.”

Billy was fuming. He should’ve seen this coming from a mile away. He was so angry that he was genuinely considering giving up his only legitimate reason to get out of the house and away from his father just to inconvenience her. Julianna was right; no matter what option he chose, she won.

As if she had read his mind, Julianna looked up at him with an honest smile and said, “don’t cut off your nose to spite your face, B.”

She wasn’t mad. In fact, she didn’t even seem annoyed. Billy had no fucking idea what was going on but now he was definitely starting to see what Tommy was saying about her. It wasn’t even that Julianna shouldn’t be fucked with; it was that she _couldn’t_ be fucked with. She was untouchable now, a far cry from the insecure-looking girl who walked into class an hour ago. Billy breathed a harsh, long breath through his nose, trying to reorient himself mentally. Evidently, it didn’t work because he didn’t even realize what he said until it was out of his mouth.

“Shit," he huffed. "Just come over after school, bring your sister. Max is less annoying when she has company.” Tried to match Julianna’s easy tone; failed miserably. He was practically vibrating. He wondered if she could tell.

Julianna snorted, heading for the door. “I’d argue they’re more annoying together but fine. I’ll see you after school.”

“Fine.” Billy pushed past her and stalked off.

\---

By the time the final bell rang, Billy was in a considerably better mood. He hadn’t seen Julianna all day, not even at lunch and he managed to score a date with Tina on Saturday night. Billy had resumed his usual position on the proverbial top of the world. He strolled out the front doors of Hawkins High and saw Julianna leaning on the hood of his car, collar of her leather jacket high on her neck to ward off the November cold, waiting for him.

“Get the fuck off my car, Janzen. You’ll scratch the paint!” he hollered across the lot. His good mood fizzled out quickly.

She shot him a look but gently pushed off the car regardless. She looked toward the middle school and waved Max and Sophie over before turning to Billy.

“Did you grab your geo textbook?” she asked, irritated.

Billy shook his head. “Figured you’d bring yours.”

“Things get done faster when both parties are doing different tasks,” she sighed.

“You want me to run back and get it then, princess?”

“No. Waste of time. We’ll be fine.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

“Can you cut the shit, Hargrove?”

“What shit, _darling_?” He cracked a mean grin, trying to get under her skin, piss her off. Any reaction would do at this point.

Julianna just smiled at him and gave a small shake of her head. Like water off a duck’s back. By that time, Sophie and Max had arrived, just in time to hear their respective siblings bickering. A look passed between the two young girls.

“What’s up?” Sophie asked cautiously.

“Billy and I are stuck working on a project together. It’s due Monday and he’s graciously offered up his home for us to go and work on it,” Julianna explained sarcastically.

Max looked to her stepbrother for confirmation, who grunted and rolled his eyes in response.

“Cool, can we go to the arcade then?” Sophie gave Julianna a look that implied her intentions were deeper than Galaga.

“I don’t care,” Julianna responded, looking to her counterpart, “you?”

“Whatever. But if I’m driving you there, you’ll skate home. You understand me, Max?”

Julianna jumped in, “I’ll drive them. I’ll meet you at your place.” Left no room for argument as she stalked off toward her car, waving for the girls to follow.


	11. Welcome to the Jungle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Billy was watching the interaction with detached interest. More specifically with what appeared to be detached interest. That off-putting stillness had returned, fork frozen halfway between his plate and his mouth as he watched Neil and Max’s interaction unfold.'
> 
> Max learns the truth and the Janzen sisters have dinner at the Hargrove's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for mention of politics (i'm sorry, didn't know how to get around this particular plot point) and implied racism

Despite Julianna’s reservations about doing the project with Billy, he actually turned out to be a decent partner. He was smart and more organized than she would’ve guessed. Upon her insistence, they were camped out at the dining room table, occupying a corner. Likely fueled by the desire to finish as quickly as possible, Billy remained laser-focused on their task and hadn’t said anything sexual or mean since Julianna arrived. Instead, they argued lightly about what counted as important information to teach the class.

“There were 148 tornadoes, it’s not like we have time to talk about them all.”

“You’re right but how do we decide which ones are worth discussing?”

Billy thought for a moment. “Guess we could talk about the one that killed the most people?”

“Morbid. I like it,” Julianna agreed. “But…”

“But?” She could practically hear Billy’s eyeroll, even from behind the textbook.

“Maybe we should talk about the ones in Indiana. You know, like closest to home?” Julianna glanced quickly at the notes she’d taken so far. “There were three big ones within the state that we could mention.”

Billy wrinkled his nose. “No one cares about Indiana. I know I don’t.”

“Good thing you’re not the one who has to -”

Julianna was cut short by the sound of a door opening. Billy’s head snapped up from his page reflexively. Susan walked into the kitchen with a bag of groceries in each arm, which she almost dropped along with her jaw when she saw Billy and Julianna sitting in the dining room.

“Hi Susan,” Julianna greeted cheerily.

“Julianna,” the redhead smiled uncomfortably, “so nice to see you again. What brings you here? Where are the girls?”

Billy’s initial alarm wore off and he relaxed. “We have a project due Monday. Max is at the arcade, I’ll pick her up before dinner.”

“I didn’t realize the two of you were friends,” Susan said, in an almost accusatory manner.

Julianna and Billy both paused. _Were they friends?_ Julianna decided on the safest response.

“Our assigned seats are next to each other in first period, that’s how we were paired up,” she shrugged. “I hope you don’t mind us commandeering the table, we can go elsewhere if you prefer.”

“We’ll be done before dinner,” Billy added.

Susan regarded them suspiciously. “No, no. It’s quite alright. I’ll just be in the kitchen working on dinner.”

The pair resumed their work on the assignment, settling on Billy’s idea of what to discuss. Julianna was stubborn but she always gave credit where credit was due; it was a good suggestion. Not to mention, she thought it best to extend an olive branch after the stunt she pulled in class that morning.

They were bickering over speaking roles when the door slammed open once more. This time though, Billy shot out of his seat to stand in front of Julianna. She stood as well, occupying the space beside him. He didn’t seem to notice her presence. Susan rushed out of the kitchen, beer in hand to greet her husband. She helped him out of his coat and Julianna heard hushed whispers from down the hall.

Her sister might’ve been the one with superpowers but in the Hargrove household, they weren’t necessary. Usually, Billy was in constant motion, always tapping his feet or fiddling with his keys or chewing gum. Those movements had given way to absolute stillness, something that seemed so unnatural that Billy was barely recognizable. Julianna subconsciously inched forward so that she was standing slightly in front of him when Neil entered the room.

“Miss Julianna Janzen, back so soon?” Neil was grinning at her, mouth wide like a shark. His head was tilted to the side slightly like he was amused. Billy’s head whipped over to look at Julianna, finally acknowledging that she was there. Guess she forgot to tell him she’d already met his dad. _Oops._

“Mr. Hargrove, long time no see,” Julianna smiled back. The pretty blond boy beside her wasn’t the only one who could turn up the charm.

“Susan tells me the two of you are partners for a project. Is that right, son?” It sounded like Neil thought Susan was lying; though with their books and notes sprawled out across the dining room table, it would be a difficult fact to dispute.

“Yes, sir. We’ll be done before dinner, sir.”

 _Sir? Is he fucking serious?_ Julianna thought incredulously.

“Is our guest not staying for dinner?” Neil looked to his wife and son who both appeared appalled at the mere suggestion. He paused for a moment. “You haven’t even _asked_ her? How rude.”

“No, that’s okay Mr. Hargrove. I don’t want to intrude. Not to mention Sophie will need to eat as well. Thank you though.”

“Nonsense! Your sister can eat here too, there’s plenty to go around, right Susan?” Susan gave a short nod, eyes wider than saucers.

“See? Stay and eat. We can’t have you going home hungry and cooking so late!” Neil was being pushy and Julianna was running out of reasons to say no. She heard Billy draw in a breath beside her.

“Okay. Okay, sure. Thank you so much,” Julianna managed a smile despite her confusion.

“Dinner will be ready around 5:30, have the girls home by then,” Susan squeaked out before she headed back to the kitchen. Neil grunted and headed into the living room. Billy only let out the breath he was holding when they heard the TV turn on.

The pair sat back down. Julianna leaned in, caught Billy’s eye. “I’m sorry,” she mouthed at him. Their unspoken ‘school business only’ agreement had been blown to pieces in the matter of a minute.

“For what?” he mouthed back, clearly irritated.

She shrugged and gestured around them wildly. “I didn’t know what I was supposed to do!” she whispered.

Billy waved off her concerns brusquely. There was nothing they could do about it now.

\---

“You don’t believe us?”

“Lucas, come on, seriously? How gullible do you guys think I am?”

Max was frustrated. This shit didn’t exist. Monsters didn’t exist. Little girls with psionic abilities didn’t exist. She just wanted to play some Dig Dug. She watched as Sophie paced the tiny break room at the back of the arcade.

“Why would we make this up?” Sophie asked, astounded.

“I don’t know! To impress me or something? Make it seem like the middle of nowhere might be more interesting than California? Well, _news flash_ , it’s not!”

“Okay, well. There’s another thing we haven’t told you,” Sophie said cryptically.

“Oh yeah? And what’s that? Are you gonna tell me you guys have powers too?” Max questioned sarcastically.

“Actually…” Lucas began, looking to Sophie.

“I do. I’m like Eleven.” She pulled up the sleeve on her sweater to show Max a burn mark on her forearm. “I had a number tattoo too. My official name is Thirteen, experiment number 0-1-3.”

That caught Max off guard. “What can you do then? Move something around the room.”

Sophie laughed. “I’m not that cool.” Max looked at her impatiently.

“I’m good at… feelings. Reading people. The doctors from the lab I’m from called me a hyper-empath. I wasn’t much use to them, that’s why I’m allowed to live with my family,” Sophie gave an awkward chuckle, “after hearing what El went through, I’ve never been more glad to be boring.”

Max was eyeing her like she had sprouted a second head. Sophie decided to continue, if only to fill the awkward silence.

“I can read people’s emotions through skin-to-skin contact, but I can also pick up on the general feeling in a room. I don’t like touching people because it gets really overwhelming.”

“You’re right, that is boring,” Max laughed. “Couldn’t come up with anything more creative?”

Sophie sighed. “There’s one more thing. Something I figured out I could do a couple of years ago. The doctors at the lab don’t know and I hope they never find out.”

“What?” Max looked to Lucas to see if this was his first time hearing this too, but Lucas was barely paying attention.

“I can change how people are feeling, temporarily. I can make them feel whatever emotion I want them to.”

“Can you show me? Make me feel something?”

“Uh… Okay. I guess. How do you want to feel?” Sophie was hesitant but she wanted so desperately for Max to believe her.

“Make me… mad,” Max decided to choose an emotion she was very familiar with as of late. “But only for a second.”

Sophie stopped her pacing to stand in front of the redhead. They locked eyes and Max was suddenly overcome with what she could only describe as murderous rage; an anger that washed over her in a tide of blood, setting every single nerve ending alight with fire. But as soon as it began, it was over.

Sophie wiped her bloody nose with the back of her hand, her breathing slightly labored. She was more accustomed to calming, rather than the opposite.

“Woah…” was all Max could think to say.

“Do you believe us now?!” Lucas insisted.

“I’m still not sold on the interdimensional monster thing, to be honest.”

Sophie and Lucas just nodded. _Little victories._ The trio walked out from the back room, intending on playing a few games on the not-broken Dig Dug machine before they headed home but the gears in Max’s head were turning. She couldn’t focus.

She turned to Sophie when it was Lucas’ turn to play. “On Halloween, when you met my mom and Neil… you shook their hands. You weren’t just being polite, were you?”

Sophie only looked guilty for a moment. “Uh, no. I was also being nosey.”

Max snorted. She wasn’t expecting such overt honesty from her new friend, but appreciated it nonetheless. But she quickly composed herself, remembering the reason she asked. “Did you, um, _learn_ anything?”

Sophie’s eyes flicked to Lucas, who appeared to still be playing but was visibly leaning toward the two girls as if he was struggling to listen. She turned her attention back to Max. “N-no, nothing out of the ordinary,” Sophie shrugged, perhaps a little theatrically. She was never a great liar.

Max definitely picked up on Sophie’s evasiveness but felt relieved about it. The longer she could continue her charade, the better. If not for her sake, then someone else’s.

Speaking of which, the roar of a car pulling up caught the trio’s attention. Max turned to Lucas, grabbing him by the shoulders as he went to leave.

“Don’t! Don’t follow us out.”

Sophie was already by the arcade doors. “Chill, Max. It’s just Julianna.”

Julianna called Sophie and Max over, giving Lucas a short wave.

“Mr. and Mrs. Hargrove invited you and I to stay for dinner, Soph. I’ve been sent to retrieve you both,” Julianna reported.

Max paled. Dinnertime in their house was, at best, awkward, but at worst, a warzone. For the past three years, she had sat at the dinner table and watched her stepbrother navigate family meals much the same way one would navigate a minefield. She wondered if having guests would make the situation better or worse.

\---

Julianna was deeply relieved they were having lasagna for dinner. It was near-impossible to fuck up lasagna and with the way Max described her mother’s cooking, that’s exactly what they needed. Something fool-proof.

Neil was the first to sit at the head of the table, Billy quickly taking the spot next to him and Max sat across from her stepbrother as if to provide a physical barrier between their guests and the man who had brought two cans of beer to the table for himself. Or maybe they always sat like this and Julianna was overthinking it.

“How was the arcade, Max? Sophie?” Susan asked politely, breaking the unbearable awkward silence that had settled.

“Good,” Max answered shortly.

Sophie, likely in an attempt to create some noise other than the sounds of forks, knives and chewing, continued. “Max is the best on Dig Dug, all our friends are _super_ jealous of her.”

Julianna knew in that moment that Sophie was treading on thin ice by the way she saw Billy’s jaw set in her peripheral vision.

“Is that so?” Neil asked, voice even, mouth set in that horrific shark-like grin. “Tell me more about these _friends_.” Said the last word like he was spitting out poison.

“They - they’re cool,” Max managed quickly.

“What are their names?” Neil was feigning care.

Billy was watching the interaction with detached interest. More specifically with what _appeared to be_ detached interest. That off-putting stillness had returned, fork frozen halfway between his plate and his mouth as he watched Neil and Max’s interaction unfold.

_Kind of like the seconds before a really bad car accident; like you know something bad will happen but you also know you can’t do anything to stop it._

“Uh, Mike Wheeler, Dustin Henderson, Will Byers and Lucas -”

Julianna was sitting close enough to Billy to feel the swift kick he delivered to Max’s shin, covering her small yelp with a loud cough of his own.

Pretended to recover. “My bad, wrong pipe,” Billy choked out dramatically, beating his chest with a closed fist while holding unwavering eye contact with Max.

“And of course, there’s Sophie,” Max continued quickly, gesturing to her friend beside her. Julianna was so unbelievably confused. But only until Neil’s next words were out of his mouth.

“A Wheeler kid, huh? Better than your hoodlum friends in California, that’s for sure. The Wheelers are good people, patriotic. Ted works at the bank, I’ve spoken to him some. A Confederate, strong values.” Neil sounded like he was talking more to himself than anyone else at the table.

 _A Confederate._ The word was bouncing around Julianna’s head. Then it dawned on her. She usually prided herself on her poker face but she couldn’t stop her sharp inhale of shock. _Neil Hargrove wasn’t just a regular piece of shit, he was a racist piece of shit._

Her breath seemed to alert everyone at the table to her presence, snapping Neil out of his now-unintelligible mutterings. But Julianna was notoriously quick on her feet. Before suspicion could even begin to cross anyone’s mind, she zeroed in on the large, gold ring on Mr. Hargrove’s finger, noting the obnoxiously sized ruby set in the center. That, combined with the familiar haircut he sported; shaved close at the sides and left only slightly longer on top, effectively squaring off his head, could only mean one thing.

Green eyes lifted to meet murky brown ones. Julianna gestured to the ring. “Army man, eh? Thank you for your service, _sir_.” Lips pressed slightly, looking down as if embarrassed for acknowledging it. A stark contrast against her condescending tone on the last word.

Neil grunted in response and Julianna only smiled wider. Billy was gaping at her like a fish. Clearly the backhandedness of her comment was not lost on everyone at the table. _Good._ She bumped her knee discretely against his.

“Why don’t you tell us a little about your family, girls? We hear your parents aren’t around much,” Susan commented, the accusatory tone from earlier returning.

“Parent,” Julianna corrected politely. “It’s just us and our mom, Sylvia.”

“Where’s your dad? Every little girl needs her daddy.”

The way Neil said it made Julianna’s stomach lurch violently. Appetite lost, she set her fork down gently before answering.

“Mine is dead,” she deadpanned. Continued before anyone could say anything. “Sophie’s is…” Julianna paused and shrugged for effect, “well, you know how divorces go, right?” A sardonic smile painted her face.

“Of course, of course. Should’ve known, you two look nothing alike,” Neil observed.

He wasn’t wrong. Julianna was built like a gymnast; 5’3” with no hope of getting taller and quite muscular. Genetically though, she was blessed with an exaggerated hourglass figure; puberty had been good to her. Her long hair was naturally wavy and nearly white blonde.

In contrast, Sophie, at the ripe age of twelve, was already 5’5” and steadily growing, sure to tower over her big sister in no time. Her figure was lean and willowy and would likely stay that way. Both her eyes and pin-straight hair were the colour of molten milk chocolate. Most people had a hard time believing they were related at all.

“What does your mother do for work? No one in town seems to be sure,” Susan slipped. Julianna wondered if the neighbourhood hags offered the information or if the woman had gone digging.

“She works for the government,” Sophie explained.

“What branch?” Neil questioned skeptically.

“The Department of Defense, _sir_ ,” Julianna responded. “But please don’t ask me what she does. All I know is that she’s a scientist. Confidential stuff, you know?”

“Big shoes to fill, I’m sure,” Neil huffed as he took another long swig of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

“Not really, my mother is well aware that I have no intentions of following in her footsteps.”

“So what are your plans then? You’re a junior, you must have thought about it. Nothing in mind?” Susan asked, perhaps looking for something to gossip about. The military scientist’s wayward daughter would be quite the topic around the small town. Well, she wouldn’t be getting that satisfaction today.

“Medical school, actually. A specialization in psychiatry.”

“That’s a lot of school, girl,” Neil tutted at her. “What about finding a husband, raising a family?”

“Haven’t thought about it,” Julianna clipped. Wasn’t expecting to be lectured on her life choices.

“Maybe you should.”

“Right,” she nodded, turned to Billy beside her. “What about you, B? What are your plans after graduation?”

Billy barely raised his eyes from his plate before his father answered for him.

“ _William_ will be enlisting the moment he graduates,” came the reply in a haughty tone. “Not sure if it’ll teach him any discipline but at the very least, he’ll have to cut that goddamn hair.”

Julianna sucked in a harsh breath, felt Sophie toe her knee under the table in warning. It didn’t matter though, she wanted to hear it from Billy’s mouth.

“Is that so, Billy? Didn’t take you for the army type,” Julianna shot him a small smile and cocked her brow.

He glanced at her momentarily from the side before fixing his gaze back down onto his empty plate. “Mhm,” he mumbled quietly.

Julianna just nodded knowingly. The rest of dinner passed without incident. The girls chatted about homework and teachers while everyone else finished their plates silently. Max seemed to be taking cues from Sophie, both of them discreetly flicking their eyes to Neil as they spoke, which confirmed to Julianna that her sister did in fact spill the beans on her ‘superpower’.

A declined offer to help clean up and many ‘thank yous’ later, the Janzen sisters slammed their car doors in unison and let out shaky breaths.

“Well, that was fun,” Julianna grumbled sarcastically, “let’s never do it again.”

Sophie snorted. “You can say that again.”

“Wanna go grab a milkshake? I think we deserve one after that shitshow.”

“Actually, I was wondering if you could take me to Will’s. He hasn’t been feeling well and Mike’s staying over there tonight, I was wondering if I could go too?”

“Is Joyce home?”

“I mean, probably? She hasn’t left Will alone.”

In the past, Julianna considered that allowing her sister to sleep at boys’ houses wasn’t the greatest idea but since the majority of The Party still gagged at the mere mention of dating and kissing and whatever else, she decided it was fine. She promised herself that as the kids grew up, she would reevaluate. That day was coming soon but it wouldn’t be now, not when Will needed his friends.

“Yeah, okay. That’s fine. Let’s go home and grab your stuff then.”

“Thanks Julie, you’re the best.” Sophie leaned across the center console to rest her head on her sister’s shoulder and Julianna smiled to herself.


	12. Strength in Numbers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I’m not supposed to know. Everyone hides it from me, or at least, they try to. Mom has a habit of ‘taking me out for drives’ randomly when Neil is especially angry or Neil will ask me to turn my radio up while he ‘has a conversation’ with Billy in his room. But it’s not a conversation. It’s yelling and breaking glass and the sound of skin hitting skin.'
> 
> Season 2 shenanigans, Max finally cracks.

“Aren’t you a little young to be working here?” came a lilting voice from across the counter, rousing Julianna from her well-worn copy of Wuthering Heights. She cracked a smile when she saw Karen Wheeler; her first customer in hours on that cloudy Saturday afternoon.

“Hi Mrs. Wheeler,” Julianna grinned. “You say that every time you come in!”

“It’s been true every time!” the older blonde laughed. “Don’t get me wrong, sweetie, you’re very mature for your age but…”

“But it’s hard to imagine a sixteen-year-old handling prescriptions? No, I get it. I’m really thankful for the opportunity though, I’ve learned a lot.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

Julianna waved her arms around the small pharmacy at the back of Melvad’s, emphasizing the many bottles and containers lining the back wall. “I know what most of these do now, which is pretty cool since I plan on going to medical school. Besides, I’m only allowed to do refills and payment, none of the important stuff. And of course, I signed a confidentiality agreement.”

“Well, that’s a relief!” Karen continued to tease, tacking on a wink as if she weren’t dead serious.

“Isn’t it?” Julianna giggled innocently. She dove underneath the counter and found the small white paper bag containing the medications for the Wheeler household.

It was crazy how much you could learn about people and their families just based on what prescriptions they’re getting refilled. For example, Karen never failed to renew her Valium prescription the first week of every month. That was the most common medication that passed through Julianna’s hands; specifically for middle-aged housewives who had decided that a cocktail of anxiolytics and red wine were the best way to forget how utterly pathetic their lives were.

The young blonde understood; these women were all brainwashed to believe they wanted a soft, kind, hardworking husband who would give them a cutesy house with a white picket fence in return for taking care of the house and giving him children. They all married straight out of high school, never went to see the world and ended up stuck in a dead-end town in the middle of nowhere with a husband who is too exhausted by the end of the day to take the garbage out, much less spend time with their wives and children. That was the cruel reality of life in Hawkins. Working at the pharmacy just solidified what Julianna already knew; if she wanted to escape a life of drug and alcohol-induced numbness, she had to get the hell out of here.

“So, have the kids been by yet? Mike was at Will’s for a sleepover last night but today no one is answering the phone at the Byers’ house.” Karen thought she was making idle conversation as she counted bills to pay whatever the family insurance didn’t cover, but Julianna bristled at her words.

“No… haven’t seen ‘em. I took Sophie to Will’s last night also because Will hasn’t been feeling well. You sure no one’s home over there?”

“I haven’t swung by but when I called to ask Mike if he was coming home for dinner, nobody answered the phone. I tried three times,” Mrs. Wheeler said with a shrug. “Oh well, Will must be feeling better and they’re out somewhere causing trouble. If you see them before I do, tell Michael to call.”

Julianna handed over the medication and swallowed loudly. Goosebumps rose across her skin and alarm bells were going off in her head. Something was very wrong. She wondered if this was motherly instinct and if Karen would be able to feel it too if she weren’t so far up her own ass.

Julianna plastered on a fake smile. “Of course, Mrs. Wheeler. I’ll be sure to tell him if I see him. On that note, if you happen to see Sophie before I do, could you please tell her to head home?”

“Sure, dear. Enjoy the rest of your day!” Karen practically floated out of Melvad’s, throwing a wave over her shoulder.

Julianna shifted with unease, peering at the clock on the wall behind her. Two o’clock. Only two more hours until she could go hunt Sophie down herself.

\---

The Byers house was a mess. And devoid of life. Hastily drawn pictures were taped to the walls, covering the entirety of the interior, creating a network of what appeared to be tunnels. Like a massive maze puzzle. Furniture had been moved aside, things had toppled over. Julianna stood at the threshold of the home, having just pushed open the unlocked door. It appeared as though everyone left in a hurry. Her heart pounded as she took a quick walk around the small bungalow, finding no clues that might reveal the whereabouts of the Byers, Mike, or Sophie.

Julianna gave a shaky sigh, opting to drive around Hawkins looking for any member of the brat pack that could tell her what was going on. It didn’t take very long.

She was speeding down Main towards the arcade when Julianna blew past Lucas and Max hurrying in the opposite direction. She hit her brakes harder than she intended as the car came to a sudden halt in the empty street. Shifting into reverse, she gave a honk to stop the pair as she pulled up next to them.

“Where are you two off in a hurry to?” she asked suspiciously.

“Hi, Julianna. We, uh… we’re just going to meet Dustin,” Lucas stuttered out, slightly breathless.

“Cool, cool. Is Sophie gonna be there?”

Lucas paused for a second, gauged the concerned look on Julianna’s face. “Not too sure, why?”

“Something’s wrong. Like _Upside Down_ wrong, and I can’t find her.” She didn’t have time to feel guilty for involving the kids before Max spoke up.

“You’re in on this crap too?!” Max questioned disbelievingly. Julianna shot the little redhead a look.

Lucas sighed. “Dustin sent out a Code Red over the walkies, apparently there’s a baby Demogorgon on the loose. We’re meeting him at the junkyard now.”

“I’m coming with. Get in the car. Ditch the bike, Sinclair.”

The kids hastily agreed. Lucas left his bike locked to a lamp post nearby before graciously allowing Max to ride shotgun.

“Before we go,” Julianna began as they slowly started to roll forward, “do we need weapons?”

“ **Weapons?!** ” Max screeched before calming down slightly. “So this is real?”

Lucas ignored her. “I have my wrist rocket but that’ll only do so much.”

“Okay, we’re stopping at my house first then.”

Julianna flew down the streets, through residential neighborhoods, completely ignoring the speed limit. Neither Lucas nor Max said anything as Julianna frantically shifted gears, foot heavy on the gas. They came to stop at the foot of the short driveway.

“Wait here. I’ll be right back,” she reassured the kids as she bolted toward the front door.

The first thing she did was change out of her work clothes, trading them for a pair of old tattered jeans that she wore to work on her car and an old Patagonia fleece crewneck. Next, she dove into the back of her closet and spun the combination lock on the small safe she kept there. She pulled out the handgun her mom insisted she should ‘always have on hand’ and toed the safe’s door shut. As she ran down the stairs, she checked to make sure it was loaded. Ten in the clip, one in the chamber. Just like her mother taught her. She tucked it into the waistband of her jeans as she pulled her front door closed behind her. Lucas and Max watched on with a mix of horror and intrigue.

Julianna jumped back into the car and met the gazes of the two preteens. She felt calmer now that she had a mission. “It’s gonna be okay guys, don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to either of you.”

\---

“So, you really fought one of these things before?”

Steve stopped playing with his lighter and nodded gravely at Max.

“And you’re like totally, 100% sure it wasn’t a bear?”

“Shit. Don’t be an idiot. Okay? It wasn’t a bear,” Dustin snapped. “Why are you even here if you don’t believe us?!”

“Dustin! Calm down, bud. It’s not the easiest thing in the world to believe,” Julianna reasoned. She was sitting on the floor of the bus next to Steve, loading and unloading her Glock anxiously. Her sister was still nowhere to be found; no sign of her, Mike, or Will anywhere, no response on the walkies, _nothing_. Julianna was fighting the urge to scream, trying to busy herself with whatever distraction she could find.

“In this case, not believing is dangerous!” Dustin cried out. “If this is how she’s gonna be, she should just go home!”

“Jeesh. Someone’s cranky. Past your bedtime?” Max got up from her seat and climbed the ladder to join Lucas on the roof of the bus.

“That’s good. Just show her you don’t care,” Steve coached Dustin.

“That’s piss poor advice,” Julianna chirped.

“I don’t, though,” Dustin mumbled.

A beat passed between them.

“Why are you winking, Steve? Stop.”

“Yeah, Steve. Why are you winking? You literally have no game and you’re trying awfully hard to make sure Dusty won’t have any either.”

“Shut up, Julianna.”

Julianna sighed and got up to lean against the ladder, hoping to eavesdrop on Max and Lucas’ conversation.

“Hawkins seems pretty lame, I bet.”

“No, no, no, it’s not that. It’s just…” 

Julianna was straining to listen as the boys argued quietly behind her.

“-my dad’s still there. So…”

 _Well, shit. That sucks._ Julianna thought to herself.

“My mom and my stepdad, they wanted a fresh start away from him.”

 _Probably because he would’ve found out about Neil’s proclivity for violence if they had stayed…_ Julianna’s heart was hurting for Max.

“As if, as if he was the problem. Which is total bull. And things are just… worse now.”

The blonde frowned, turning back to Steve and Dustin to run over the game plan one more time. She had invaded Max’s privacy enough.

Not more than a minute later, a screeching growl tore through the calm night air. Julianna, Steve, and Dustin rushed to the window but saw nothing.

“Lucas! What’s going on?” Dustin yelled up.

“Hold on!” A couple seconds passed. “I’ve got eyes! Ten o’clock! Ten o’clock!”

The trio focused on their ten. Steve was the first to spot it, and also the first to make the observation that Dart wasn’t taking the bait they had laid out.

“Maybe he’s sick of cow,” he said ominously. A look passed between Steve and Julianna and they stood in unison.

“Steve? Julianna? What are you guys doing?” Dustin sounded a little frantic. “Guys? Steve? Steve?”

The two teenagers moved toward the door of the bus. Steve turned and tossed his lighter at Dustin.

“Just get ready, okay?”

Julianna stepped out first, gun cocked and aimed in front of her. Steve joined her soon after, his back against hers and nail bat at the ready. He gestured for them to turn so he was walking forward.

As they approached the pile of meat, he whistled a beckoning call, much the same way you’d call over a dog. “Come on, buddy.”

“You’ve lost your fucking mind, Harrington,” Julianna hissed.

“Do you have a better solution?” he hissed back between whistles. “Come on, buddy. Dinner time. Human tastes better than cat, I promise.”

“Jesus Christ,” Julianna muttered under her breath, her hands shaking slightly around the gun.

They were maybe ten feet from Dart when the fog cleared slightly. It was then that Julianna spotted another one at the same time that Lucas called out.

“Guys! Watch out!” he hollered. “Three o’clock!”

“A little busy here!” Steve called back.

“Uh, Steve. This was a bad idea. We need to go,” Julianna whispered frantically, not taking her eyes off the Demogorgon approaching them from the side. Steve finally turned around in time to see multiple monsters closing in on them. Julianna could barely hear Dustin screaming for them to abort their mission over the sound of her heart pounding.

In a moment, it all went to shit. A least three of the creatures attacked at once. Julianna starting shooting and Steve started swinging. Turned out, bullets don’t do much to slow a Demogorgon down unless you hit them square in the middle of their demented flower-shaped mouths. That’s how Julianna managed to take out the closest one to her before making a break for the bus, Steve right on her tail. The moment they were in, Dustin slammed the door and began to barricade it. 

They were being rushed on all sides, the monsters beginning to tear holes in the metal sides of the bus. Julianna didn’t even know where to train her gun anymore, she was solely focused on the kids huddled behind her. Another hit on the side of the bus caused the group to disperse and Julianna could vaguely hear Dustin frantically trying to call for backup on his walkie.

“Is anyone there? Mike? Will? Sophie? God? Anyone! We’re at the old junkyard and we are gonna die!”

Just then a piercing scream caused Julianna to snap back to attention, finding Max underneath the roof hatch of the bus, staring into the open mouth of a Demogorgon. She shoved the little girl out of the way and fired three shots directly into its open mouth. An eerie quiet settled over them.

“Are - are they gone?” Julianna could hear the scampering of feet getting farther and farther from them.

“For now,” Dustin muttered.

“Okay, then let’s get the fuck out of here.”

Julianna started off over the hill to her car, the others hurrying behind her. She got into the driver’s seat and turned the key in the ignition. Nothing.

“Shit, fuck. Come on, you fucking piece of shit!” She continued to try to no avail. “Goddamn it!” She rested her forehead against her steering wheel.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked.

“Battery’s dead. The guy who sold it to me warned me this would happen,” Julianna groaned, not looking up.

“Okay, well let’s walk back to my car, and then we’ll circle back for yours. I have jumper cables.”

Julianna sighed and got out of the car, shooting everyone an apologetic look. They started off along the train tracks back to Steve’s car.

As the boys led the way, Julianna and Max trailed behind.

“Hey, Max?”

“Yeah?”

“I just want you to know that if you ever need somewhere to go, my door is always open. You can crash at my place, it doesn’t matter if Sophie’s there or not. You can eat my food, watch TV, whatever you want. If you ever just wanna get away, you know?”

“Where’s this coming from?” Max questioned skeptically.

“I just thought you should know,” Julianna shrugged.

“Do you make this offer to every random kid your sister’s friends with?” Sarcasm was Max’s favorite form of humor and her go-to defense mechanism.

“Nope. Just you.”

“Is this about dinner yesterday? Cause, trust me, everything is fine.” Anger rose, fire to match the hair. Defensive because she was scared.

Julianna stopped, gently grabbing Max’s arm to face her. “Look me in the eyes and try telling me that again.”

Max evaded Julianna’s gaze, preferring to push some dirt around with her toe.

“Does he hurt you, Max?”

The question seemed to shock her. “Does _who_ hurt me?”

“Your stepdad. Neil.”

Max’s eyes shone with unshed tears. She quickly blinked them away and looked at the silhouettes of the boys walking maybe 20 feet ahead. Julianna understood the implication.

“I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”

Max knew she was caught. With the way Julianna was looking at her, she knew she wasn’t going to lie her way out of this one.

“No. Not _me_.” The way she said it wasn’t an outright denial, leaving the answer open-ended for further questions.

“So Billy then?” Julianna was treading lightly. They started walking again.

Max took an unsteady breath. “I’m not supposed to know. Everyone hides it from me, or at least, they try to. Mom has a habit of ‘taking me out for drives’ randomly when Neil is especially angry or Neil will ask me to turn my radio up while he ‘has a conversation’ with Billy in his room. But it’s not a conversation. It’s yelling and breaking glass and the sound of skin hitting skin. And then Billy always has these random bruises afterward, but he always says he got into a fight at school. I’m not an idiot, Julianna. I tried asking him about it once,” she broke her rambling to let out a humorless chuckle, “first and last time I did that. Just denied, denied, denied. He thinks I believed him. Now, I just try to keep us both out of trouble.”

Julianna nodded slowly, tried to mask the upset of having her suspicions confirmed. “Like your first day of school when you wanted to wait for him to drive you home, even though he was late?”

“Yeah. Mom and Neil have decided that, for some reason, I’m Billy’s responsibility. Neil makes him drive me around everywhere even though I don’t mind skating at all. In California, they used to leave us home alone together for days with barely enough money for one pizza. It’s no wonder he hates me,” Max squeaked out, furiously wiping the tears that escaped. Relief coursed through her, weight lifting. She felt like she could float.

“Fuck, kid. Come here.” Julianna pulled Max into her side, wrapping an arm around her narrow shoulders and squeezing gently.

“I just wish he knew he didn’t have to be alone in that house,” Max breathed. Almost too quiet to register.

Just then, the quiet arguing from Lucas and Dustin turned into an all-out screaming match and the girls rushed to catch up.

“I didn’t know he was a Demogorgon, okay?!”

They were going back and forth, yelling at each other while Max tried to break them up and reorient them to the task at hand.

“I care! You broke the rule of law!” Lucas was waving in Dustin’s face.

“So did you!” the curly-haired boy exploded.

“What?”

“You told a stranger the truth!” Dustin yelled, directing his flashlight into Max’s eyes.

“A stranger?!” Max yelled.

 _Oh no._ This was never going to end. Julianna wandered off with Steve, letting the kids duke it out.

Suddenly, Steve froze, shining his flashlight into the darkness of the forest.

“Hey guys?” he called. “Guys?”

“Hey dipshits!” Julianna screamed, causing Lucas and Dustin to jump away from each other. The otherworldly screeching of the Demogorgons could be heard from the direction Steve shone his flashlight.

Everyone started off that way, except for Max.

“No, no, no. Guys? Why are we headed towards the sound?!” she yelled after them. Julianna turned around and beckoned her.

“We gotta go, Max. It’s safer when we’re together.”

“Shit,” Max huffed in resignation, jogging after them.

The noises led the motley crew directly to the lab, where they emerged from the woods to be greeted by Nancy and Jonathan.

“Steve?!” came the confused exclamation from the pair.

“Nancy?” Steve said incredulously.

“Jonathan,” Dustin greeted.

“What are you guys doing here?” Julianna asked.

“We’re looking for the kids, what are _you_ doing here?” Nancy responded.

“They’re not in there, are they?” Dustin gestured to the lab.

“We - we’re not sure,” Nancy stuttered out.

“Why?” Jonathan asked simultaneously.

They were interrupted by another loud screech coming from inside the lab. Julianna broke out in a sprint to the gate, just as the lights flickered back on in the previously dark building.


	13. Shout at the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Julianna reached into her waistband. Wrapped her fingers around cold metal. Whether it was more shameful if she had considered this or if it was an impulsive decision, Julianna wasn’t sure. With a steady hand, she raised the gun from behind Billy, gently nudging him with the barrel between the shoulder blades.'
> 
> We're almost at the end of S2. I hope I did this scene justice.
> 
> TW for gun violence, language, canon-typical violence, and heavily implied mental health struggles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was extremely difficult to write. Thanks for reading, and as always, feel free to tell me what you thought!

Julianna was first to the security booth at the gate, frantically mashing the ‘Gate Open’ button to no avail. Her panic was increasing with each passing second and Jonathan took the initiative to gently remove her from the booth so he could try, only to be shoved aside by Dustin.

“Son of a bitch!” Dustin screamed, practically punching the button. Julianna peered up at the gate, considered scaling it. Tried to gauge how much damage the barbed wire would do.

Just then, the gate slowly began to slide open. She went running for it but Steve grabbed her sharply by the wrist.

“Don’t even think about it!”

“My sister’s in there! What the fuck do you mean, _Steven_?!” Fear bred impulsivity.

“Nancy and I will go get them, you guys stay here!”

Julianna turned with blazing eyes. “Are you serious Jonathan?! I’m coming with you.”

Nancy took Julianna’s hands, looked at her with what could only be described as pity. It ruined her.

“Jules, please. There won’t be enough room in the car for everyone if we have to make a quick getaway. Just trust us. We have family in there too.”

“Fine. But then fucking hurry,” Julianna acquiesced, lightly pushing Nancy back toward the car.

It took less than five minutes of pacing before two vehicles came screaming up the road leading from the lab. The first car, Jonathan’s, sped past the group but the second one ground to a halt in front of them. Chief Hopper was leaning across his front seat, gesturing them inside frantically.

“Let’s go!”

Julianna, Steve, Lucas, Dustin, and Max all launched themselves in with Steve riding shotgun. It was a tight fit but they were safe. The relief was palpable in everyone except Julianna. She leaned through the two front seats to grab Hopper by his… _hospital scrubs?_

“Chief! Where the hell is my sister?!” Julianna screamed, too impatient.

“Hey!” Hopper shoved her back into her seat. “I’m driving here!”

“You didn’t answer my question!”

Hopper sighed, hands trembling slightly from leftover adrenaline. “She’s in the other car. She’s safe.”

It was only then that Julianna allowed herself a breath. The ride to the Byers’ felt like it went on forever after that, especially because Steve insisted they pick up his car on the way.

The moment the car stopped, Julianna threw herself over the kids to be the first out the door. She spotted Sophie standing on the front porch, long hair pulled into a disheveled ponytail atop her head. She looked like she’d been crying.

“Sophie!” Julianna called. The little girl’s head snapped up and the pair rushed forward to meet in front of the Chief’s Blazer. Sophie sobbed into the crook of Julianna’s neck as her big sister held her. Julianna finally felt true relief for the first time all day.

\---

C-L-O-S-E G-A-T-E. _Close gate._ That’s how the Mind Flayer would be defeated, according to the spy himself. This morse code revelation could not have come a moment later, because then the phone rang. And all hell broke loose.

Hopper burst through the door with Mike, Joyce, and Jonathan, who was carrying an unconscious Will soon after Nancy had yanked the phone straight from the wall.

Jim held out a shotgun to Jonathan. “Can you use this?”

“What?”

“ **Can. You. Use. This?!** ”

Jonathan offered a blank stare.

“I can.” Nancy stepped up, catching the gun that was thrown to her, cocking it expertly, and taking aim. _Unexpected._ Julianna raised her eyebrows, impressed.

She checked her own clip and shuddered. “Chief, you wouldn’t happen to have any rounds for this?” She held up her handgun and gave it a little shake for emphasis.

Hopper pursed his lips. “How many have you got?”

“Three.” The screeching outside was getting louder by the second.

“Fuck,” the chief of police muttered. “No time. Make ‘em count, Janzen.”

Those with weapons; Hopper with his automatic rifle, Nancy with her shotgun, Steve with his nail bat, and Julianna with her Glock stood facing the door with everyone else behind them. Lucas had his wrist rocket at the ready and Mike had picked up a candleholder. The silence in the house was deafening as they waited for the attack.

As the demo-dogs neared, Julianna found Steve’s nonchalant bat twisting oddly comforting. He seemed the calmest out of everyone, including the chief, who looked immensely beaten down. She tried to channel a calm focus, loosening her tense muscles, and matching her breathing to the slow, gentle swing of Steve’s bat. Julianna briefly had time to wonder what Sophie must be feeling before she felt a small hand touch her back where her sweater had ridden up.

The otherworldly noises came to a sudden halt and the body of a demo-dog crashed through the dining room window. Everyone let out a collective scream and reoriented their weapons.

“Holy shit,” came Dustin’s quiet mumble.

“Is it dead?” Max asked, slowly approaching. Hopper gave the creature a push with the toe of his boot and confirmed that it was, in fact.

The relief was short-lived because it was interrupted by the door creaking. Everyone turned toward the sound as the bolt unlocked from the outside and the door chain unlatched by itself. Julianna cocked her head to the side in confusion and had already lowered her gun as the door swung open.

In the doorway stood Eleven, with her hair slicked back and eyes rimmed with black liner. Definitely a much different look than when Julianna saw her last, nearly a year ago.

Her gaze shifted to Mike, who was staring in teary-eyed wonder. Sophie was the first to move, but Julianna reached out and caught her sister by the shoulder and pulled her back. Julianna didn’t much care for Mike, but she knew how badly he wanted this.

“Is that…?” came Max’s quiet whisper from behind her. Julianna smiled to herself.

The knowledge that Chief Hopper had been hiding El came as a surprise to everyone but Julianna. Not because she knew, but because nothing could shock her at this point. She understood Mike and Sophie’s rage as they both descended on Hopper, pushing, hitting, and screaming before being dragged into a back bedroom for a “talk”.

Julianna tucked her gun and turned to El, crouching in front of her. “Are you okay, baby?” She opened her arms to the little girl. El threw herself at Julianna, accepting the offered hug.

“Not a baby,” she hiccuped between quiet sobs. The older girl let out a small chuckle before letting her go so she could greet the other familiar faces in the room. El didn’t seem too impressed with Max, but Julianna knew she didn’t do well with new people. Still, it ached when she saw how crestfallen the redhead looked. The outsider once again.

\---

Julianna chose to sit back and observe the controlled chaos around them as everyone strategized. _Too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the soup or whatever._ Eleven was certain she could close the gate, which made sense since she opened it. That left them with only one problem remaining: Will’s possession. That issue was quickly resolved by Joyce, who developed the plan to burn the Mind Flayer out of him prior to the gate closing.

Thus, Jonathan, Joyce, and Nancy set off for Hopper’s cabin with Will to get a head start on clearing the Mind Flayer out. The chief and El were preparing to head back to the lab, Hopper having a final cigarette while El said goodbye to Mike and the gang. Julianna and Steve were sitting on the porch steps sharing a smoke.

“El… Come on, let’s go. It’s time.”

Eleven shot one last meaningful look at Mike before turning away and getting in the Blazer. Following suit, Jim took one last look at the bunch they were leaving behind.

“Stay here until we get back, it’s safer if you’re together. No funny business,” he warned before taking off.

Julianna heaved a sigh, crushing the butt of her smoke under the heel of her boot before getting up. “Let’s go make ourselves useful and help tidy.” Everyone trailed in with Steve bringing up the rear.

The group set to work on sweeping broken glass, rearranging furniture, and beginning to tear down the tunnel maze throughout the house. The dead baby Demogorgon had been squeezed into the fridge by Steve upon Dustin’s insistence. The only people not pulling their weight were Sophie and Mike, both of whom had done nothing but nervously pace and whisper to each other.

“Would the two of you cut it out? She’s going to be _fine_ ,” Julianna scolded in her best mom voice.

“You weren’t in there, Julianna! That lab is swarming with hundreds of those dogs!” Julianna’s eyes narrowed at Mike’s tone.

“The chief will take care of her,” Lucas reasoned.

Max rolled her eyes. “Like she needs protection.” 

Steve stepped out from the kitchen, dishrag in hand, looking like a housewife. Julianna couldn’t help but snicker.

“Listen, dude. A coach calls a play in a game, bottom line, you execute it. Alright?” He flicked the rag so that it hung over his shoulder. _What a mom._

“This isn’t some stupid sports game,” Mike scoffed.

“And we’re not even in the game, we’re on the bench!” Sophie added.

“Ri- so uh, my point is… Right. Yeah. So, uh, we’re on the bench so there’s nothing we can do.”

“That’s not entirely true.” Everyone turned to look at Dustin. “I mean, these demo-dogs, they have a hive mind. When they ran away from the bus, they were called away.”

“So if we get their attention…” Julianna began.

“Maybe we can draw them from the lab,” Sophie finished.

“And clear a path to the gate.”

“Yeah, and then we all die!”

“Aw, don’t be that way Stevie,” Julianna chided. “I thought you were more of an optimist than that.” She turned to the group. “Okay, so how do we do it?”

“Have you lost your mind?!” Steve exclaimed.

“Yeah,” she deadpanned. “Why don’t you go find it for me instead of being such a downer?”

The plan was relatively simple. Descend into the tunnels where the chief had dug a hole in the pumpkin patch, locate the ‘hub’ where all the tunnels met, set it in on fire, and haul ass outta there before the demo-whatevers arrived.

“Hey. Hey! Hey! This is not happening.” Steve was adamant. “I promised I’d keep you shitheads safe and that is exactly what I plan on doing. We’re staying here, on the bench.”

“Who’d you make that promise to? Not Hopper.” Julianna stood in front of Steve, arms crossed in challenge.

“Nancy,” Steve muttered shamefully.

Julianna scoffed. “Screw that!” The pair continued to bicker back and forth about stupid sports analogies until the sound of an engine reverberated. Max and Julianna locked eyes before bolting for the window.

“It’s my brother. He can’t know I’m here. He’ll kill me. He’ll kill us.”

“Max… did you sneak out while Billy was supposed to be watching you?” The redhead noted the singsong lilt of her name, reminding her of someone else who spoke that way. Allowed the silence to speak for her.

The blonde put her face in her hands and took a deep breath. “Goddamn it, Max.” That was familiar too. Julianna raised her head, rearranged her features into a hardened confidence. “I’ve got this.” She headed for the door, only to be stopped by Steve. He put a hand on her upper chest, firmly halting her.

“No. Watch Max.” Steve stalked out the door, slamming it hard behind him. The action said ‘don’t follow me’.

Instead, she listened in with her ear against the door, growing more and more anxious. Steve was absolutely terrible at de-escalating. Billy was worked up, more so than usual.

“You know, I don’t know, this… This whole situation, Harrington, I don’t know.” Julianna frowned. He was usually more eloquent than that. “It’s giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“My 12-year-old sister goes missing all day. And then I find her with you at a stranger’s house. And you lie to me about it.”

It was Julianna’s turn to have the heebie-jeebies. She imagined Billy’s tongue sliding across his teeth. Predatory.

“Man, were you dropped too much as a child, or what? I don’t know what you don’t understand about what I just said. She’s not here.”

There was a pause. “Then who is that?” Julianna’s head snapped toward the window where the kids were all gathered, scrambling to duck.

“You idiots!” Julianna whisper-yelled. She pinched the bridge of her nose, internally scolding herself for being too engrossed in her eavesdropping to notice the dumbasses crowding the window. She vaguely registered the sound of Steve hitting the ground and had the good sense to clear the doorway before Billy slammed it open.

Julianna had to admit, he looked amazing. Date ready in tight jeans and a red shirt, unbuttoned straight down to his navel, muscles rippling underneath the open button-down. Whoever he was supposed to spend his evening with would’ve been one lucky girl. Julianna admired his hair, perfectly styled except for one lone curl that kept falling in his face. Billy Hargrove was sex on legs and it made her weak, even in their current predicament. She would find time to hate herself for that later.

But the image soon bled away. It only took a moment if you knew what to look for. Billy was slightly sweaty despite the chilly November night. Whiskey wafted and hit Julianna in the face with the draft from the open door. The second thing that hit her was his rage. 

She could practically hear it coursing through his veins, seeping out through his skin as years of torment and internal turmoil culminated and peaked, bleeding from every orifice.

Billy strolled in, too casual. Kicked the door closed behind him forcefully. The kids flinched.

“Well, well, well. Lucas Sinclair. What a surprise.” He turned to Max, getting in her face. “I thought I told you to stay away from him, Max.”

“Billy, go away.” Little red’s voice wavered.

“You disobeyed me.” Billy took control. Did what he did best. “And you know what happens when you disobey me.”

“Billy…” Julianna warned but he didn’t even acknowledge her presence, tangled in the web he’d spun himself with his father’s help.

She could only watch on as Billy’s gaze pierced through Max and she shook, burned by the flames in his eyes. “I break things.”

The hulking boy suddenly launched himself at Lucas, grabbing him by the jacket collar and roughly throwing him against a china cabinet in the dining room. The younger boy was being effortlessly held up a foot from the ground. The house shook with screams from the boys and Max while Julianna and Sophie watched in silent horror.

“Since Maxine won’t listen to me, maybe you will,” Billy growled. “Stay away!” Each word was punctuated by a clumsy slam into the cabinet. “Stay away from her! You hear me?”

Julianna realized she never gave Sophie’s friends enough credit. Lucas’ face settled into an unfamiliar anger before exploding. “I said get off of me!” He delivered a swift and powerful knee straight to Billy’s groin, causing Billy to drop him. Control slipped away.

Lucas ran back to his friends, placing himself firmly between Billy and his sister. Julianna finally regained feeling in her legs, moving so that she could shield the kids with her body, not wanting them to have to rely on each other.

The knee Billy took to the family jewels probably would’ve caused the average man to collapse, writhing in agony. Julianna wasn’t sure if it was alcohol or rage that kept Billy standing on his own but he had barely even doubled over. He raised, came back to full height, stared straight through Julianna at Lucas.

“You’re dead, Sinclair! You’re dead.”

Julianna was so focused on Billy’s every movement, she didn’t notice Steve had come back in to approach Billy from behind.

“No, you are.” Steve landed an impressive right hook straight to Billy’s jaw, sending the blonde sailing into the wall.

Manic laughter sounded, drowning out the cheers and words of encouragement coming from behind Julianna. Billy looked up, blood trickling from his nose, howling in unhinged glee. The gorgeous, bloody boy was no longer Billy Hargrove; merely an empty shell of a human being with no humanity to speak of.

“Looks like you’ve got some fire in you after all! I’ve been waiting to meet this ‘King Steve’ everybody’s been telling me so much about.” Chest heaving, a little more unsteady on his feet but arguably even more terrifying.

“Get out.” Steve was uncharacteristically calm, similar to a mere hour earlier when he was awaiting the attack of interdimensional, bloodthirsty creatures. Now he was facing a monster of a different sort.

 _Steve._ Sweet, pure-hearted Steve. A lover, not a fighter, Julianna knew. Wanted so badly to believe in him anyway, so she did.

He anticipated the punch Billy threw and ducked, delivering one of his own to meet Billy’s jaw. The contact was whiplash-inducing and the boys cheered and egged as if they were watching a championship title boxing match. Except there was much more at stake.

Steve’s blow caused Billy to rock back into the kitchen counter, now bleeding from a cut in his mouth along with his nose. Blood filled the spaces between his teeth, causing his psychotic smile to look downright demonic. He cackled loudly, unphased.

Billy reached discreetly behind him for a plate resting on the counter. This was no longer a fair fight, if it even was to begin with. Realizing his intentions, Julianna found herself. Pushed forward to latch onto Billy’s arm, hoping to prevent him from swinging. Her efforts proved fruitless. Julianna’s petite frame did absolutely nothing to minimize the impact of the plate against Steve’s head.

The only thing she accomplished was getting herself thrown into the linoleum with the force of Billy’s swing as she lost her grip on his sweaty arm. She landed flat on her back, winded. Gun digging sharply into her tailbone, sure to leave a nasty bruise. She struggled to take shallow, ragged breaths as Billy carelessly stepped over her, stalking Steve in his moment of weakness.

The next hit sent Steve into a bookcase, nearly falling into Dustin. Julianna couldn’t think. She briefly managed to lift her head, making eye contact with Sophie, who was cowering in a dark corner, powers forgotten. Sophie’s terror was what fueled Julianna’s need to get up. To do something. She pulled herself upright into a sitting position against the cabinet. Willed herself to breathe a little deeper.

When Steve stumbled, Billy pulled him upright to swing again. Easier to justify the pain you inflict if your opponent is still standing. Julianna learned that one from her stepdad, Billy probably learned it too.

“No one tells me what to do.” A headbutt to Steve’s bloody face and a violent shove caused him to buckle.

Billy had completely checked out. Gone. The light behind his eyes snuffed out, giving way to an expanse of emptiness. Unable to focus, no longer seeing.

“Woo! Get up!”

“You’re gonna kill him!” Dustin was always first to find his voice.

Billy straddled Steve’s chest, delivering blow after blow, uncaring that he was barely conscious, much less able to defend himself. Billy was now looking through Steve, the same way he’d looked through Julianna. The truth came, much sadder than the anger Julianna was hoping for.

She was looking at a broken boy seeking revenge, seeing the face of someone else with each punch he landed. It was never Steve laying below him. And for that, Billy wasn’t going to stop.

Heaving herself up, Julianna reached into her waistband. Wrapped her fingers around cold metal. Whether it was more shameful if she had considered this or if it was an impulsive decision, Julianna wasn’t sure. With a steady hand, she raised the gun from behind Billy, gently nudging him with the barrel between the shoulder blades.

He paused, shaking with exertion. “Well hello there, Trouble. Fancy seeing you here.” Voice empty and even. Kept his fist clenched, prepared to hit again.

“I’ve been here the whole time, Billy.” Realized what she meant after the words left her mouth.

Billy shook harder, vibrating now. “And what’s your grand plan?” Turned to look over his shoulder, shooting Julianna a sick, red-stained smile. “You gonna shoot me?”

He swung twice more, challenging her conviction. Steve was now entirely unconscious. She calmly raised the gun higher, pressing the back of his head as the safety clicked off. That brought Billy to a complete halt. Silence overtook them, everyone frozen.

A breathless chuckle came. “Is that so?” He tilted his head, sarcasm dripping with the bloody saliva from his lips.

It happened so suddenly, no one could have anticipated it. Over the span of two seconds, Billy reached around, grabbing Julianna’s wrists and walked her back into the wall forcefully. He adjusted his grip so that both his hands were wrapped around hers, holding the gun. Billy felt cold despite the sweat around his hairline. He positioned the barrel right at his chest, held it to his heart. He positioned his thumbs over Julianna’s index fingers, resting on the trigger. A small push to end it all.

She scarcely dared to breathe, not wanting to make any sudden movements. This was not her intended outcome. She locked eyes with Billy, fell into the abyss. Found out it was much easier to drown when it was too dark to see which way was up.

“Come on, Janzen.” Challenged her further, growling. “Do it. Don’t be a pussy.”

She gave a near-imperceptible shake of her head, refusing to tear her eyes from his. Ocean blue had dulled into a flat navy, the kind that causes an existential crisis when staring at the night sky. Open and empty, nothing left to give.

“I said **do it.** ”

“No.”

Billy pulled Julianna toward him for a moment before slamming her back into the wall. She winced slightly, bruises already blossoming from when she was thrown to the ground. With her free thumbs, she flicked the safety back on.

Her action didn’t escape Billy’s notice. He reached around and flicked it off again, slowly raising their joint hands so that the barrel of the gun was now against his forehead. His grip tightened and Julianna’s heart rate spiked.

“Billy, please. Please just let it go. It doesn’t have to be like this.” Resorted to pleading when she realized she couldn’t scare him away. “Please just talk to me.” _Please, please, please._

“Oh, now you wanna talk? Funny. You started this. You aimed this gun first. Follow through, Julianna. Finish what you start.” The words echoed from another time, long ago. Not long enough. “Do it. Do it, do it, do it.”

Julianna felt her eyes gloss over, a salty sting in the corners. A sensation she had forgotten, a relic from a past life. Repressed it because now wasn’t the time.

“I’m not going to kill you, Hargrove. I fucking won’t.” Refused to allow her voice to waver.

“Do it. Do it. Do it, do it, do it, do it…” It sounded like chant now, Billy’s hands were starting to shake around the gun. Kept repeating himself like those two syllables were the only ones he remembered.

The harder he shook, the more life bled back into his eyes. Julianna could’ve sworn she was watching his soul reunite with his body. Tears in the ocean, a single one reaching freedom down his cheek. Billy’s incantation became disjointed, slowing to a stop.

She briefly considered releasing the clip but that still left one bullet in the chamber. Decided against it. In her peripheral vision, she saw her saviour. Mad Max, armed with a syringe full of anesthetic approaching slowly and quietly.

“I’m so sorry, B,” Julianna offered. Max’s arm came down into the side of her brother’s neck, plunger depressed. The redhead let go immediately and backed off, Julianna using the distraction to engage the safety and rip the gun away. She fell, collapsed into the wall.

She enjoyed the burn of a lungful of air, the first deep breath she’d taken in minutes. Took the time to release the clip and remove the round from the chamber. Left the Glock disassembled on the hardwood.

At the same time, Billy turned to face Max. He slowly pulled the needle from his neck. “The hell is this?” He began to stumble and slur. “You little shit, what did you do?”

He fell back, landed with a hard thud. The manic laughter returned. Max decided to take advantage of the situation, snatching up Steve’s nail bat.

“From here on out, you leave me and my friends alone. Do you understand?”

“Screw you.” Slurred and defeated, but refusing to give in.

Max brought the bat down straight between Billy’s legs, nails embedding into the hardwood.

“Say you understand! Say it!” Screamed again when he wasn’t fast enough. “ **Say it!** ”

“I understand,” came the quiet whisper.

“What?” Julianna flinched. Max was pulling all the stops.

“I understand.” And then he passed out.

The bat clattered to the floor and Max’s legs gave out. The boys stared, shocked and unsure. Everything was different now, nothing like it had been 15 minutes prior.

Sophie finally pulled herself from her corner and collapsed beside her friend, wrapping her arms around her.

“What just happened?” Max’s voice was so small.

Julianna crawled over to Steve, checked his pulse. Lifted his eyelids, confirming he was responsive to light. He would probably wake soon, with a concussion and some bruises but no lasting damage. She called Dustin over to hold his head while she reset Steve’s broken nose, Pretty Boy once again. _Better to do it while he’s out, that shit hurts._

She moved to Billy, smoothed his hair from his face, checked his pulse as well. His breath was a little shallower than she was comfortable with. “Mike?” The boy looked up. “Toss me the small bottle behind you.” She caught the glass bottle with one hand, turning it over to read the label. It was a cocktail of drugs used to induce sedation, but they wouldn’t maintain it for very long. However, in combination with the alcohol, Billy would probably be out for a couple hours at least.

Finally, Julianna dragged herself over to Max and Sophie. “Are you guys okay?”

“Why was he like that? Why didn’t he stop? Why did he want you to shoot?” Max was crying softly, one hand on her brother’s denim-clad leg.

“Billy’s hurting, Max. A lot. And sometimes hurting others feels a lot like getting even with the universe, leveling the playing field.” Julianna spoke softly, rubbing Max’s arm comfortingly. “But, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think he wanted me to shoot. Guilt is a weird emotion, shows itself in many ways.”

“I could’ve stopped this whole thing. No one had to get hurt. It’s my fault,” Sophie exploded, frustrated tears forced from the corners of her eyes.

“It’s not your fault, Soph.”

“It is! The one time my powers would’ve been helpful and I just _froze_! I’m _useless_! Eleven fights and I just run and hide like a baby!”

Julianna grabbed her by the shoulders, pulled her so that they were nearly nose-to-nose. “Listen to me. Are you listening?” Sophie nodded weakly. “Okay. Eleven grew up in a concrete room, only getting to leave when those bastards wanted something from her. They wanted to use her as a weapon. Of course she knows how to fight, she never had a fucking choice. You are both kids. You should be allowed to be kids.”

“Yeah, Sophie. No one blames you,” Mike eased. Julianna liked him a little better now.

“Okay, okay. Now that we've cleared that up,” Maxed stood with resolve. Reached into Billy’s pocket to pull out his keys. Jingled them in her hand. “Let’s get out of here. We have work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Childhood trauma is weird, guys. It manifests in so many ways. Working in the field of children's mental health, I've seen it with my own two eyes. Each case is different. I ended up fairly okay, with the help of a fantastic support system and it pains me to see that not every kid gets their happy ending. The Duffers certainly didn't give Billy his.
> 
> I'm not what they call a 'Billy Hargrove apologist' but also... kind of. His actions are inexcusable but not irredeemable. Kids with tragic backstories like this need to be shown kindness and understanding, allowing them to work through their emotions so they can express them in a healthy way. Billy is broken, not evil.
> 
> Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk ;)


	14. Owner of a Lonely Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Having fought many weaker opponents, he knew what to look for; the ultimate betrayal of the false pretense of bravery, revealing true fear. Fight or flight. Julianna’s pupils dilated, blown open to allow more light, sharpening her vision. Her breath rate increased, forcing more oxygen into her lungs, supplying her energy. He waited for her body to close off, arms flying up to protect her core, tensing in preparation for another attack… But something was wrong.'
> 
> Max and Sophie are too perceptive. Julianna confronts Billy; they both get more than they bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of abuse

“Max, how confident are you in your driving abilities?”

“Uh… Billy was a good teacher?” Not exactly an answer.

“Good enough for me,” Julianna decided, digging in Steve’s keys from his jacket pocket. “Okay, let’s get Steve in Billy’s car and Billy in Steve’s car.” She was already dragging Steve toward the door.

“What?”

“Why?”

Julianna sighed, lowered the unconscious boy for a moment. “Because, shitheads. Steve is my friend and I won’t leave him and I don’t want Billy to wake up here alone. God knows what he would do…”

“We could tie him up,” Dustin suggested.

“No!” Max and Julianna chorused.

The party got to work, stuffing two unconscious boys in the cars and gathering the supplies they’d need before setting off. Sophie rode to the pumpkin patch with Julianna since there was no room in the Camaro. She also promised her big sister that she’d be able to sense if Billy roused.

The ride was silent, Sophie still seething. She was angry with herself for failing them and was determined to make up for it. Maybe not tonight, but someday. Julianna was focused on the road, following the Camaro, wincing at every too-sharp turn Max took, occasionally sneaking peeks in her rearview.

Both cars jerked into the field, coming to a stop at a gaping hole that was practically pulsating. Everyone darted out, pulling things from the trunk of the Camaro. Goggles, bandanas, masks, rope, gasoline. _Cover your nose, cover your mouth, cover your eyes._

Steve finally stumbled out, forcing consciousness. “Guys?” Finally registered what was going on. “Oh, no… Guys?!” The party ignored him. “We are not going down there. I made myself clear!”

Julianna stopped in front of him. “Yes. We are.”

“You really _have_ lost your mind…”

“That’s ‘cause you didn’t go find it. Just wait till you see what’s in your back seat.” She shot him a wink and continued on. Steve looked up, saw the broad silhouette with fluffy hair slumped in the back seat of his dad’s BMW, no doubt bleeding and sweating on the leather seats.

**“What the fuck, Julianna?! This ends right now!”**

Dustin approached Steve, gear in hand. “We have bigger fish to fry right now than that asshole.” Thrust the goggles and bandana in Steve’s hands. “You’re upset, I get it. But the bottom line is, a party member requires assistance and it is our duty to provide that assistance.” He paused for effect, let the older boy think about it. “Now, I know you promised Nance you would keep us safe. So keep us safe.” Offered Steve his bat. He hesitantly accepted, shaking his head in defeat.

In the meantime, Max, Sophie, and Julianna had hauled Billy from Steve’s backseat to the front seat of his own car. Max kept the keys.

Steve and Julianna were down first, helping the kids one by one. Julianna took in the tunnel. There were spores floating, suspended in animation and every surface was writhing with thick, black vines. It was hard to breathe, the air having a viscous quality to it.

Steve led the way and Julianna held up the rear. The gun she had tucked away dug into the bruises on her back, serving as a reminder. She fought the urge to throw it away.

They found the hub with minimal problems, only some minor theatrics from Dustin. The cathedral-like space rapidly filled with the stench of gasoline as they doused it.

“Alright, let’s light this bitch up!” The kids all gave a small whoop in response. Steve flicked his Zippo and tossed it among the gas-soaked vines. The place exploded in flames and they all ran. The black tendrils shrieked and flailed as they burned.

Julianna tripped in her haste, falling face-first into a protruding vine. She felt her lower teeth pierce her lip, blood beginning to flow freely. Another vine tangled her leg, preventing her from getting up. Everyone was quick to help, pulling Julianna out while Steve beat the vine away.

They reached the gaping hole to the outside world in record time after that, a small run-in with Dart notwithstanding. Steve and Julianna began hoisting the kids up, nearly throwing them. Dustin was last out and the demo-dogs were closing in. Way too fast for both of them to climb the seven feet out.

Steve attempted to pick her up but Julianna stopped him. “Go, Julianna! Fuck!” Steve urged.

She could hear Sophie screaming. “Not without you, dumbass.” She reached up and jumped, felt many hands wrap around her. She extended her other arm downward to help pull Steve up. She was halfway out of the hole, ready to help her friend out when the ground beneath her collapsed. She fell back in, missing Steve by inches. Landed hard on her already bruised tailbone.

Juliana barely had enough time to stand, much less say any last words before the dogs were on them. Steve grabbed her, pulled her close. They prepared for pain that never came. They felt wind whipping around their legs, finding the creatures tearing past them instead of attacking. Suddenly the tunnel was flooded with blinding light from above, the headlights of the cars shining unnaturally brightly for a moment.

“Eleven,” they heard Mike mutter above them.

\---

Julianna was in the Byers’ bathroom cleaning her bloody and dirty face, breathing deeply through the throbbing pain in her back. Embracing the heat and inflammation as if it would absolve her of her sins. Her hands shook with exhaustion. The party had reconvened in the house, all of them arriving at about the same time. She couldn’t go out and face them, unable to put on the celebratory face everyone else seemed to share.

Billy’s skull keychain weighed heavy in her pocket. She had to go back and see him, return his keys, make sure he was okay. She was dreading it. A knock sounded.

“Julianna?” Ever the concerned little sister.

“One sec.”

“Let us in, please.” She reached over and turned the crappy bathroom lock.

Sophie and Max poked their heads in, found Julianna sitting on the counter, one leg tucked underneath her and the other hanging free. She was patting at a bruise along her jaw with a wet towel, the sink full of bloody tissues from her lip. The pair came to sit on the edge of the tub, both of them trying to wipe the grime of the night off themselves with paper towel. Their clothes were stained with black and red; so many people had bled over the last few hours that no one could guess whose blood was whose anymore.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” She couldn’t help the sarcasm. Swiped at her face a little harder than necessary. Relished in the ache.

“We just wanted to see if you were okay.” Sophie winced at the brutal way her sister dealt with her own injuries. It was nothing like the gentleness with which she’d seen her patch Steve up, or brush hair out of Billy’s face, or even when she cleaned Sophie up time and time again, after she fell off her bike, or burnt herself making popcorn. For herself, Julianna made it hurt on purpose.

“Fuckin’ peachy, thanks for asking.”

“You’re not the only one who almost died tonight, you know that right? Bob did die, Julianna.” The older blonde frowned. Leave it to Sophie to provide some much-needed perspective.

“I don’t think that’s why…” Max let her sentence trail off. _Damn mind readers._ “Billy’s gonna hate me, isn’t he? Hate me even more, I mean.” At the time, the needle to the neck and the bat between the legs seemed like a great idea. Now she was realizing that it was stupid, dangerous, and juvenile. There were going to be consequences.

Julianna met the redhead’s eyes in the mirror. “Doubt it. He’ll be too busy hating me. Besides, if he ever gives you trouble again, just borrow Steve’s bat. Walk around the house with it, I’m sure he’ll get the message.”

Max’s lips pressed into a tight smile before falling again. “Why does it matter though? I have to live with him, you can walk away scot-free. Just go drop his keys in his lap and drive away.”

The blonde shrugged sadly. “Just does.”

“Or you can talk to him. He might listen to you,” Sophie reasoned calmly.

Julianna and Max snorted incredulously.

“He won’t have much of a choice… He was drugged. Not like he can just get up and leave.”

Sophie wasn’t wrong about that. A little cruel but at this point, Julianna would do anything to sleep better at night.

“What am I supposed to say?”

“You’ve spent the entire past week talking about how you think there’s more to him than meets the eye, so, I guess just remind him he can be better. _Do_ better. You obviously believe in him.”

Julianna blushed hard, embarrassed by the way Max was looking at her; like she was trying to figure her out, picking her apart, piece by piece. She hadn’t realized how many of her and Sophie’s conversations involved Billy over the past week until now. Something in her little sister’s words resonated though. A seed planted, now up to Julianna to bring it to life.

\---

Julianna was crouched just outside the driver’s door of the Camaro, disinfecting Billy’s torn up knuckles when he slowly began to return to consciousness. She’d arrived a bit after one in the morning to find him sleeping soundly, small noises indicating he was dreaming. With the drugs wearing off, she probably could have woken him up but selfishness prevailed.

She opted to bide her time, enjoying how peaceful Billy looked while gently cleaning his bloody face and wrapping his hand. He kept subconsciously leaning into her touch, despite his minute winces whenever she dabbed with alcohol. She wondered when the last time was that someone other than herself touched Billy with care. Those little movements tore at her, the guilt almost too much to bear.

A lengthy, unimpressed sigh indicated Billy’s newfound state of alertness. Julianna ignored him and continued her work on his hand. No broken knuckles, thankfully.

“You look like shit.” His voice rasped from disuse, still slurring as the drugs wore off. A ghost of a smile twitched Julianna’s features, pulling at her swollen lip.

“Good morning to you too, Peaches.”

“Where the fuck am I?” Julianna looked up to see his eyes searching, but not finding any clues in the darkness of the field.

“We’re out at ol’ Merrill’s pumpkin patch.”

“Why?” Billy leaned back, closing his eyes again.

Julianna finished wrapping his hand, stayed crouched beside him. “Do you remember what happened tonight?” she deflected. Watched his face for any reaction.

He groaned a vague noise of affirmation, arching his back to stretch. When he finally opened his eyes, he looked down at Julianna with a cruel smile. “Where’s the gun?”

She dropped her gaze and stood to lean against her passenger side door, facing Billy. Remorse caused an incessant ache in her chest. She stayed silent, eliciting a mean-spirited laugh.

“Is this a joke to you? You literally almost killed Steve.”

“And you almost killed me, let’s call it even,” Billy slurred.

Julianna huffed. This wasn’t the way this was supposed to go. “I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to talk about Max.”

At the mention of his stepsister, Billy froze. “Where is the little bitch?”

“Don’t call her that, dickhead,” Julianna scowled. “Max has saved your ass more times than you know. She’s at home, the Chief of Police took her. They concocted a fantastic story, covered for you too.”

“And what’s that?”

“I’ll tell you once you hear what I have to say. No interruptions.”

“Like hell.” Billy started patting himself down. She watched as he became more and more frustrated. “Give me my fucking keys, Janzen, I swear to god.”

“What?” Julianna crossed her arms, cigarette hanging from her lips. Defiant, stubborn as always. “What are you going to do Billy?” It wasn’t sarcastic, it wasn’t mocking. She actually wanted to know.

“You’ll regret it.” He attempted to sound menacing but missed the mark. He just sounded tired, acting indifferent like Julianna wasn’t even worth getting up for but in reality, he probably couldn’t stand. She sent up a silent thank you to Max Mayfield and modern medicine. Rescinded the thanks just as quickly.

Julianna decided to cut to the chase, tried not to roll her eyes. “Max knows about your dad.”

Billy’s head snapped up. “The fuck did you just say?”

“Max knows your dad hits you.” She raised a hand to stop Billy as he opened his mouth. “You know, you’ve done a piss poor job protecting yourself, and protecting her.”

“D-don’t know what you’re t-talking about.”

“Don’t you? I saw how you covered for her at dinner. Neil’s a racist piece of shit, and I know for a fact that you’d be the one punished if he found out who Max hangs out with. He hasn’t started in on her yet, but even if he had, you come first. You’ll always be first punished.” Julianna was treading on thin ice now, watching Billy’s face contort. She continued anyway. _In for a penny, in for a pound._

“You don’t give her enough credit. If you just had a fucking conversation with her, the two of you could be a team, helping each other out. Max’s already doing it for you, despite how much of an asshole you are to her. Covering for you tonight, for example. Or when she waits for your ass after school while you’re off fucking some chick, even after I offer to drive her. Why? Because she knows that you’ll be in hot water for ‘neglecting your duties as a brother’ or whatever. It pisses her off and she bitches and she moans and she whines but she _still_ does it.”

Billy was silent, eyes locked on Julianna’s with an unreadable expression. She was on a roll, unloading carelessly in the hopes that maybe _something_ would stick, anything, no matter how ill-prepared she was for this conversation.

“Your whole situation would work out a lot better if the two of you communicated.” She paused for a long drag before passing the half-smoked cigarette to Billy, who snatched it reflexively. “Fuck, B. I get it. I get that you’re mad. I get that she shouldn’t be your responsibility. I agree with you. But you need to redirect your anger because it’s not her fucking fault. So stop treating her like it is, goddamn it.” Julianna paused to take a shaky breath, whole body protesting the action. “This is what your dad wants, you know. To keep you two at odds, make you feel like he cares about her more. He doesn’t, it’s just a game.”

Billy tilted his head in mock confusion, flicking the butt of the cigarette away. “You’ve got this whole thing all figured out, haven’t you? I’m impressed.” He was anything but.

Julianna’s eyes hardened. “I never said that. All I’m saying is that you’re treating Max the exact same way your dad treats you. Tough lessons, am I right? Do you wanna grow up one day, look yourself in the mirror and see Neil Hargrove staring back at you?” Julianna stood up taller, forced herself to look at him, challenged him to disagree.

That did it. If Julianna was hoping for a reaction, she got one. Billy finally found his legs, standing to tower over her. She paid closest attention to his eyes; waiting for them to drain of life, go cold like they did at the Byers’. It never happened. His eyes stayed alight, burning with a defensive anger, which should’ve brought fear or at least apprehension. But it didn’t, only relief.

\---

_Do you wanna grow up one day, look yourself in the mirror and see Neil Hargrove staring back at you?_

That one cut deep, ripped into him like a dull knife. People have said all sorts of brutal shit to Billy, hurled insults, called him every name under the sun. Especially his father. But when things are said out of malice, they’re easy to dismiss. _Everyone is guilty of saying shit they don’t mean when they’re mad_ , Billy thinks. That’s why Julianna’s words sliced through him, artery deep. She didn’t say it because she was angry, or because she wanted to hurt him. She said it because he needed to hear it; hear his biggest fear spoken out into the dark night, finally making it real.

If Billy was being honest with himself, he might’ve acknowledged that he’s afraid a lot, almost constantly in some form or another. Afraid of his dad, afraid for Max, afraid of whatever came next. But Billy wasn’t honest with himself. For someone who hated liars, he sure had made himself comfortable on his throne of hypocrisy. He shoved away fear with anger, because when blood-red rage filled him, he could pretend it felt like bravery.

He convinced himself that’s what it was as he forced himself up against the heavy pull of whatever drugs Max had pumped him full of; bravery, as he got in Julianna’s space, looked down on her small frame, lips twitching, fingers flexing. Because if he was angry instead of scared, her words weren’t true.

Billy briefly noted the irony of their situation. This was the second time they had found themselves here. The first time, he was drunk off his ass and Julianna had to strip him naked and take care of him. Now, he was coming off some pretty wicked sedatives and here Julianna was, stripping him naked again, but this time in a significantly more intimate way.

He hoped to scare her away the same way he scared away everyone who tried to get too close. Show them the darkest side of him because inevitably they’d decide he wasn’t worth the effort. Opening up meant loss. And Billy had already lost enough.

He noticed that even though she was dirty; torn clothes caked in god-only-knows-what, she still managed to smell good. Not perfume, soap, or detergent. Something solely Julianna. The way his heart started pounding at the proximity was for all the wrong reasons and it only served to enrage him further.

Billy’s breathing picked up, too fast. He couldn’t get enough air. The trembling in his fingers was back. It occurred to him that he might pass out but he willed the thought away. Tried to regulate his breathing, stop shaking. He wanted to fucking punch something. He wanted Julianna to go away. _Needed_ her to go away.

He brought his hands down on either side of her, effectively caging her in against the side of her car. They were nearly nose-to-nose now, holding eye contact. Billy watched as a sharp smile split Julianna’s face. She tilted her head to the side, her hair slightly tickling his forearm, sending him off-kilter. A slow downward spiral. Conflicting emotions bubbling up, forcing him to swallow hard.

“Are you gonna hit me, Billy?” Then, “Come on, show me what you’re capable of.” Egging him on. “ _Become_ your father, prove me wrong.” Stared straight into Billy’s eyes, into his soul. It burned, every nerve ending frayed, leaving him buzzing. “I thought you were better. Prove. Me. Wrong. Hit me.”

His fists clenched against the cold metal in the space where the door met the roof. Billy hated Julianna. Hated himself more. He wanted this all to go away. Before giving it much more thought, Billy raised his hand, palm open. Julianna followed its movement. A sound registered, something between a yell and a grunt that Billy didn’t realize came from him. His hand came down hard, as hard as he could, landing on the side of the Barracuda mere fractions of an inch from Julianna’s face. The car vibrated with the impact, the smack echoing through the cold field.

Billy momentarily watched the blonde girl’s reaction with sick satisfaction. Having fought many weaker opponents, he knew what to look for; the ultimate betrayal of the false pretense of bravery, revealing true fear. Fight or flight. Julianna’s pupils dilated, blown open to allow more light, sharpening her vision. Her breath rate increased, forcing more oxygen into her lungs, supplying her energy. He waited for her body to close off, arms flying up to protect her core, tensing in preparation for another attack… But something was wrong.

Julianna’s body did not close off; she stayed open, relaxed. Not calm, but absent of negative emotion. Then it dawned on Billy. Charming his way into the beds of many women had familiarized him with the contradictory reaction. Similar to fear in that it heightens the senses, but opposite in that it invites others in. Julianna wasn’t afraid; she was aroused, _turned on_. Lust flickered in her eyes and a violent wave of nausea swept Billy, every ounce of fight and anger leaving him at once.

He dropped his arms like he’d been burned, setting Julianna free from her cage. Billy stepped back, heaved ragged, unsteady breaths. “You’re fucked up.”

Julianna pushed off her car to stand casually with her arms crossed, remaining unguarded but slightly uncomfortable. She raised an eyebrow at him. “Look at that, the pot calling the kettle black.”

“Who hurt _you_?”

Julianna sighed and closed her eyes, refusing to open them again. He wasn’t expecting an answer. “My stepdad. Uh, Sophie’s dad,” she amended. Billy waited for her to continue but she remained silent.

“What happened?” he asked carefully. He sat back down in his driver’s seat, facing her. She crouched down, squatting against her car, face pinched.

“It’s a long story, but here’s the gist: nothing I ever did was right, I fucked everything up. According to him, if I wasn’t such a brat, wasn’t so needy, was more responsible, he wouldn’t need to punish me. He said he didn’t want to do it, that I gave him no choice. The less my mom came home, the bolder he could be. Never cut, rarely bruised, but hurt me all the same.” Julianna wrapped up with a shrug, refusing to meet Billy’s eyes.

“But he’s gone now, right?” He dared to hope.

“I mean, yeah. Kind of. He’s in prison.”

“You called the cops?”

Julianna snorted. “Fuck no. Sophie did.”

“He hurt her too?” The nausea that Billy was trying to tamp down returned, bile rising in his throat. He thought of Max.

“Almost. One night, she was bringing him a beer and she tripped. The bottle shattered on the kitchen tile, beer and glass everywhere. Jerry rushed in, absolutely losing it. Screaming at her about how worthless she was and how… nevermind, it doesn’t matter. He got up in her face, grabbed her by the shoulders, kept yelling. Sophie had cut her feet on the glass, bleeding on the floor.” Julianna was only physically in the field now, her mind elsewhere. Her voice was robotic, detached.

“I was in my room doing homework when I heard it. I didn’t even think, I just reacted. 12-year-old me, barely weighing 70 pounds… I threw myself at him, hitting and pulling hair. It was enough to distract him from Sophie, and that’s what mattered.” She took a long, deep breath. Both teens were shivering from the cold but neither noticed.

“I don’t remember anything after that, I only know what I was told by Sophie and the cops. We lived in this super weird house where the kitchen was on the second floor. I was thrown down the stairs while Sophie locked herself in my mom’s room and called 9-1-1. I guess Jerry thought he killed me, so Sophie won some time while he checked.”

Julianna looked up at him like she was waiting for him to say something. She continued when he didn’t.

“You know what the funniest part is?” Nothing in the story was funny, they both knew. She still laughed darkly. “He only got a year for what he did to me. I had three broken ribs, a concussion, and needed five stitches to close a gash on my jaw.”

Billy remembered seeing that scar the morning after the Halloween party. He wondered what she would’ve said if he had asked her about it then.

“One fucking year for domestic assault. I was granted a permanent restraining order but those don’t do shit.”

“But you said he’s still in there?”

Julianna laughed again, sounding almost genuine this time. “I take it back; _this_ is the funniest part. When the cops showed up, they found a couple of ounces of marijuana laying around somewhere. Jerry was arrested and sentenced to four years for possession of a controlled substance. He got more time for his supply of a naturally occurring plant than for throwing his stepdaughter down a flight of stairs.”

Billy wordlessly rose from his seat and came to crouch beside Julianna, not touching but just sharing space. They stayed like that for a beat.

“I don’t know how to fix it.”

Julianna looked up at him, confused as though she wasn’t sure she heard him right.

“Fix what, B?”

“I don’t want to be like him, don’t want to hurt people.” He offered the words to the universe quietly, but still hoping he was heard.

He watched curiously as Julianna stood to fish in her back pocket. She offered a closed fist to Billy, who opened his palm. She dropped a silver key.

His eyes furrowed in confusion and she beamed at him; warm, genuine. “What’s this?”

“A key to my house,” she said simply.

“For what?”

“Anything. A place to sleep, a warm meal, a place to do homework or watch TV. Whatever you want. I have a guest bedroom, the kitchen is always stocked. Hell, we even have a workout room in the basement.”

Anger rose as Billy struggled to keep his voice even. He stood and held out the key. “I’m not a fucking charity case, Julianna. I don’t want your handouts.” He shook his hand for her to take it back. “Or your pity.”

Julianna raised her hands as if in surrender, unwilling to accept it. “I’m not doing this because I feel sorry for you. The opposite, actually.”

“What do you mean?” He regarded her skeptically.

“You’ve done shitty things, Billy. We all have, I think. I’m not going to excuse them because of what happened to you. Getting better, no, _being_ better is a choice. I just want to give you a safe space to make that choice.”

Billy toed the cold dirt. This was too good to be true. Afraid to accept help, afraid to hope for better. Another goddamn reason to be scared. Shit like that always blew up in his face.

“Why do you care?”

Julianna gave a small smile and raised her shoulders slightly. “Just do. I guess I really wanna meet the _real_ Billy Hargrove. I’m sure I’d really like him, I think everyone would.”

“This _is_ the real me. That’s the fucking problem,” he ground out.

“It’s not. And I can prove it.” Julianna opened her passenger-side door and pulled something out of the glovebox. “If this is the real you, who’s this?”

She held out a photograph for him to take. Billy had to turn slightly so he could see. It was the one of the two of them from Halloween. He frowned deeply, not having any recollection of the event.

“This is bullshit, I was -”

“Drunk? Knew you’d say that.” She pulled another picture. “Tell me about this, then.”

Billy knew at first glance that he was looking at the missing photo from the album. In it, Julianna sat on the Cali shoreline in blue bikini bottoms and a rash guard. She was deeply tanned, the bridge of her nose and the high points of her cheekbones a little pink from too much sun. She was squinting against the morning sunlight in her eyes, long blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail. Even against the orange glow of the sunrise, her teeth gleamed white, mouth open in happy, honest laughter. Billy could practically hear the sound.

_Fuck._

Enamored with the pretty blonde girl, it took him a few beats to figure out why she had given him this particular photo. In the picture, to the right of Julianna, maybe 20 feet behind her was a boy straddling a surfboard in the water. He too sported a deep tan, his wavy hair slicked back with water. It didn’t even look like a mullet when it was like that. He was looking at someone beside him, just out of frame, laughing hard at something they had said. Billy’s head was tipped back, eyes closed, mouth open; a joy to match the girl on the shore’s.

Despite not recalling Julianna being there, Billy remembered that day. He and his best friend Tony had gotten up before the crack of dawn because they heard the waves at San Onofre were supposed to be good. They had driven the hour and a half there, making it just in time for the first rays of sun to peek out over the horizon. It had been the most perfect morning… spoiled by him arriving home to the news that they were moving. If he had to pinpoint it, that was the last time he remembered being happy.

His fingers were trembling around the picture, no longer from the cold. Billy raised his eyes to meet Julianna’s. Taking in the look on her face, he dropped them just as quickly, covering his face with his free hand.

He felt Julianna step forward and gently pull the key out from his palm behind the two photographs. Then she disappeared, pulling her trunk open. He didn’t pay much attention to what she was doing, too preoccupied with keeping his tears at bay. He dared sneak peek at her when he felt her back in his space.

“Here.” She offered him his keys, with the addition of a shiny new silver one on the obnoxious keychain. He took them slowly, wordlessly.

Julianna shifted awkwardly on her feet. “I, uh, just want you to know… there aren’t any like, rules or anything. I don’t give a fuck what you do, who you’re friends with, who you’re sleeping with, what your grades look like. My offer is unconditional.” Billy’s eyes narrowed at her.

“Okay, maybe not completely unconditional,” she chuckled. “Just don’t be mean to Max and don’t beat anyone within an inch of their life ever again. That’s it though. Please consider it, B. You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick.”

“Okay.”

Billy saw conflict in Julianna’s eyes, uncertainty warring with desire. Eventually though, she slowly reached up, gently settling her hand in the crook of his neck. He tensed reflexively under her touch before relaxing. They both chose to ignore the little tear that dripped down Billy’s cheek and the full-body shiver that ran through him.

“I’ll see you in Kowalsky’s on Monday. Or earlier if you want.” She squeezed lightly. “Don’t worry about having an excuse, Max left your window open for you.”

Julianna turned to leave, but there was one more thing on Billy’s mind.

“What happened tonight?”

“I promise I’ll tell you, just not now. We both need sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, let me know what you thought and share any ideas for upcoming chapters. i've got something planned for billy and max, max and julianna and billy and sophie soon! i also want to build on steve a little as well.


	15. Carry On My Wayward Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'He’d turned up the dial on his callousness, barking at anything that roused even the slightest sensation of irritation. Anything to distract from the constant ache and pressure in his chest that made it hard to breathe, like he was bleeding into the space around his lungs.'
> 
> The aftermath of Hell Night.
> 
> TW for vomiting, emetophobia, panic attacks, nightmares (?), and excessive use of italics on my part (I’m sorry)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stare at this any longer so here it is. Sorry for taking so damn long to update! Next one coming later this week if all goes to plan.

Julianna awoke on Sunday morning nauseous and in a cold sweat. She pulled herself up to reach for the cup of water on her nightstand and winced; every inch of her skin hurt, little pinpricks to match the screaming protest of her muscles.

She breathed through the pain, fighting the urge to vomit. She trembled, gripping her bedsheets as her vision blurred. Her heart was hammering and she could hear the blood pulsing through her ears loudly, as if she lived inside her own veins. Just as loud, just as claustrophobic. Not much in this world scared her but throwing up did. Ever since she was a kid; the stomach flu and food poisoning were the stuff of nightmares, not the monsters under her bed. Emetophobia, her old therapist had called it. Told her she had control issues. Her mother just called her crazy.

She felt the room start spinning and she clamped her eyes closed to try to regain her bearings. Her large bedroom felt small, the walls closing in, locking her into her panic attack. Julianna’s palms began to sweat and despite her non-stop shaking, she couldn’t shake the feeling of impending doom, like the world would implode at any moment. Her breaths were short and shallow, coming too fast.

Her first thought was to call for Sophie but in the end, her sister would be her undoing. Just as Julianna conquered her fear of opening her mouth, the sounds of retching and gagging reached her ears from the hallway bathroom.

With a shocked squeak, Julianna shot out of bed straight into her bathroom. She barely managed to get the lid of the toilet open before soundlessly throwing up. Her eyes watered and her chest and abs ached from the force, the nausea subsiding only slightly. She continued to tremble.

She spat a few times and quickly flushed, watching tarry sludge disappear and grimaced at the sight. A muffled cough caused her to pull herself up gently, carefully, rinse her mouth and head across the hall, leaning against the wall for support. Pushing the bathroom door open, she found Sophie slumped over the toilet. The little brunette barely raised her head to acknowledge her sister.

“You okay, Soph?”

“You don’t have to be here, I know it’s hard for you,” came the whimper. “Hopper told us that he got sick after being in the tunnels.” Sophie reached to flush and Julianna saw black swirling.

“Probably something in that filthy air, I was sick too.” Julianna came to sit down on the cold tile beside her sister, wiping her own sweaty face with her oversized t-shirt. If this was their fate, they might as well face it together.

\---

_One more. Yeah. That’ll teach ‘im._

_Another one. And another. Y’know, for good measure._

_His fists keep pounding Harrington’s face, the boy nearly unconscious below him. He delivers blow after blow, uncaring, unfeeling._

_Tough lessons, everyone’s gotta learn ‘em._

_He’s so absorbed that he barely registers Steve open his eyes until he speaks, all raspy and painful._

_“Please…” followed by “it’s okay. I can take it.” The brown haired boy flicks his eyes upward, motioning to something behind himself. “Just not her. Please, not her.” And then Steve loses consciousness entirely._

_He pauses and raises his eyes to meet watery blue ones, framed by messy red curls. She looks absolutely terrified._

_The next time he looks down, he sees himself, battered and bloody, his blonde hair wet and matted in a mockery of a halo around his head. He’s no longer in control, just feels his fists ceaselessly hitting, a heavy gold ring with a ruby in the center glinting off one of his fingers._

_“Please, just not her.”_

Billy gasped himself awake, heart pounding and hands shaking. There’s a commotion outside his bedroom door. By the sounds of it, Max was sick and Susan was panicking.

He groaned as a splitting headache caught up to him, the light flooding in causing him to flinch. He stumbled out of his room, venturing the tiniest peek toward the open bathroom door. Max was leaning over the sink, white-knuckling the countertop, having not made it to the toilet, spewing viscous black as Susan held her hair.

Billy’s stomach gave a sympathetic somersault and he retreated back to his room. The water he so desperately needed would have to wait. He cracked his window to let in a cold breeze and got back in bed, yanking the covers over his head and proceeding to toss and turn for the next who-knows-how-long.

The next time he woke, it was to the sound of a telltale door slam, indicating that Neil was home from his short Sunday shift at the bank. He didn’t even remember falling asleep. Billy slowly climbed out of bed and dressed. He found Susan in the kitchen quietly making lunch, his dad nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Ne-dad?”

She merely glanced at him before turning back to her pot of soup. “Out in the garage.”

“Oh.” He shuffled a bit, awkward. “Is, uh, Max okay?” Found himself backtracking, hardening when the redhead froze. “I don’t wanna catch whatever plague she’s got.”

This time, his stepmother turned fully to face him, scrutinizing him like he’d grown a second head. Or perhaps in Susan’s mind, horns. She pressed a small, confused smile.

“She’s resting now, I doubt it’s contagious. And… thank you… for making sure she got home safely last night, Chief Hopper told us about what happened.” The expression of gratitude left her mouth haltingly, like it was physically painful to say.

Billy let out a non-committal _‘mhm’_ as he poured himself a glass of OJ and a second glass of water. He headed back down the hall, stopping in front of Max’s room.

Without preamble (because if he paused, he’d change his mind) and a huff, he opened the door to find the little redhead curled up, looking sweaty and pale. He slammed the glass of cold water down on her nightstand, causing her to jolt awake.

By the time Max registered who was in her room, Billy had already retreated, door closing silently behind him.

Whatever bullshit shitbird and the Chief fed their parents the previous night managed to keep him mostly out of the way of his raging father, with only a small _interaction_ after lunch. It was relatively tame for what he knew Neil was capable of; just a small shove against the refrigerator after Max had gone back to bed and Susan went to do laundry, coupled with some choice words about bringing ‘the pigs’ to the house. And for that, Billy could be grateful. He allowed it for a moment.

But ultimately, guilt gnawed at him, all sinew, tendons and blood between the teeth. He didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve Max covering for him, or the key clinking on his keychain. Billy knew that he was all those things his father called him. Stupid. Worthless. Useless. Asshole. Failure. Criminal.

His chest ached at the thought of the state he left Steve Harrington in. He didn’t mean it. Or, perhaps he did but not towards Harrington himself. Someone else. At the time it just felt _so_ good to hit something, hit them until he wasn’t sure whose blood he was covered in.

Billy was unfamiliar with the sensations he was feeling; the painful pull of his diaphragm as he breathed, the lead weight in his gut… He’d made mistakes before but _shit_ , he knew he _really_ fucked up this time.

\---

Julianna sensed Billy enter Kowalsky’s room before she saw him. His magnetism had not faded over the events of the weekend and she didn’t know whether that was comforting or concerning. She gave him a quick once-over as he approached his seat, checking for new cuts, bruises, or changes in his gait. Nothing of importance to note.

She winced when he caught her looking, rolling his eyes dramatically. Annoying, but reassuring all the same. Julianna could live with that. Billy was just going to have to learn to deal with someone giving a shit.

Still, she didn’t say anything to him, just handed him his cue cards. She felt his penetrating gaze and realized he was probably alarmed by her appearance. Her morning had revolved around concealer and excuses. Thankfully the bruises were covered with makeup and the split lip was explained away by dryness but she definitely still looked like shit. Neither Julianna nor Sophie had their appetites back, still feeling nauseated and lethargic. Sophie was allowed to stay home but the elder sibling dragged herself out of bed, cursing this stupid geography presentation.

They must’ve looked like quite the pair; with matching split lips, Billy with his bruised cheekbone and torn knuckles and Julianna looking ghastly pale with deep purple circles under her eyes. Her energy expenditure for the day would not be pissed away with makeup application. Kowalsky eyed them suspiciously and allowed them to go first when Billy volunteered them. A small mercy.

She left promptly after, but not before spotting her seatmate playing absently with his keychain, the key that unlocked 158 Maple Street glinting in the morning sunlight.

\---

“Boost me higher!”

“I’m trying!”

“I thought you were stronger than this!”

“I spent all day yesterday puking and I’m covered in bruises, _sue me_.”

Julianna was struggling to lift Sophie onto the firewood rack beneath Max’s window. One short phone call to the Hargrove residence earlier revealed that not only was Max sick, she was also grounded for the next two weeks. Thus, Sophie had the brilliant idea of delivering a spare walkie talkie, recruiting her big sister as lookout and extra muscle, the latter she was failing to deliver on.

Once Sophie was successfully on the rack, she tapped lightly on the window. She could see Max through the sheer curtain laying on her bed and reading a comic book, looking a little worse for wear. Probably the same way the two siblings did. Her eyes snapped up in alarm before she flew over and unlatched her window, sliding it open.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” She leaned out and spotted Julianna, who gave a wave.

“Saving you from two weeks of mind-numbing boredom, obviously.” Sophie laughed as she thrust the walkie in Max’s unexpecting hands.

The redhead gave a small, happy smile. Vibrant and a little more alive than moments prior. “Does this mean I’m in The Party now?”

Sophie shrugged. “I’m not asking for Mike’s permission to give you a stupid walkie. But yeah, you are. I said so.”

Max giggled shortly and then sighed, glancing toward her bedroom door. “You guys better go, mom will probably be in to check on me soon.”

“You get sick too?” Julianna called up quietly.

“Yeah… all day yesterday. I can’t remember the last time I ate.”

“Neither can we. We think it was whatever was floating around in the tunnels.”

Julianna’s head snapped to the side at the sound of the neighbouring window being shoved open. She was relieved to see a mess of dirty blonde curls poke out.

What was originally a look of anger turned into one of exasperation on Billy’s face when he spotted them. “You guys fucking suck at being sneaky.” Julianna shot him an apologetic smile.

Max stuck her head out to blow raspberries at her brother before turning back to her friend. Before she could open her mouth to say goodbye, Billy interrupted.

“I hear someone coming down the hall, Maxine. Your friends need to get the fuck out before they get you in even more shit than you’re already in,” he practically growled.

Sophie quickly jumped down, steadied by Julianna. She took one last look at Max, and mouthed ‘channel three’ at her before turning around and disappearing around the front of the house. Julianna sent the pretty boy a salute before following.

\---

Steve didn’t show up for school that week. Suffering from a concussion and dealing with the ‘Upside Down Sickness’, as the boys had called it, really made it impossible. Julianna visited every night for a few minutes to check in, making sure he was eating and helping him with his bandages and icing his bruises.

While he may have protested, it was clear that Steve enjoyed the attention. He was reveling in being taken care of, the loneliness of an empty house temporarily eased by Julianna’s presence.

On Friday night, Julianna brought Dustin along with her, at his insistence. Apparently the two were buddies now or something. Sophie was at Mike’s eating pizza and watching Ghostbusters, a movie Dustin had seen “like, a bajillion times already”. She enjoyed the constant drone of the young boy’s voice as they drove toward Loch Nora, it was very calming. He was telling her all about school, his bout of Upside Down Sickness, how cool Max is, expressed some sadness at her lack of romantic interest in him, and so on.

“Look at these pearly whites, Julianna! Look at ‘em!” Dustin bared his teeth at her. “They’re beautiful! How can she say no to that?!”

The older girl chuckled, shaking her head. “She doesn’t even know what she’s missing, Dusty.”

“ _Right?!_ That’s what I said!”

The trio ended up in Steve’s living room, with Dustin commandeering the La-Z-Boy and Julianna occupying the far end of a long couch, Steve sprawled out across the rest of it, his head in her lap as they watched TV. She was absent-mindedly running her fingers through his hair, turning the boy into jello beneath her. Dustin stared openly at them, confusion written on his face. Julianna raised an eyebrow at him but Steve beat her to the words.

“It’s not what you think, dude.”

“What he said,” Julianna agreed with a nod. Before Dustin could argue, she continued. “Just remember, Dusty, that friends take care of each other. They understand each other and they know that it’s not weak to ask for help when they need it because they trust they won’t be judged or ridiculed.”

Steve smiled up at her. “It’s an added bonus when you don’t even need to ask.” That one bled. Julianna never asked. Couldn’t. It wasn’t in her nature to allow herself to be taken care of, that was _her_ job. She was always ‘fine’. No one ever really pushed it, not hard enough to crack her. She didn’t hold it against them.

“You guys make no sense,” Dustin huffed.

“You’ll understand one day. Girls come and go but if you make the right friends, those are forever.”

Julianna immediately felt the shift in Steve’s mood at those words. Nancy still weighed heavily in the forefront of his mind; he was probably thinking that he couldn’t be what she needed even though she was that for him, or so he thought.

She decided the best course of action was distraction. “You should come to Tommy’s stupid birthday party next weekend.”

“Ah, yes. Invite me to the birthday party of someone who legitimately hates me. My presence is sure to go over well,” Steve quipped sarcastically. “I know where I’m not wanted, Julianna.”

“Come on, Steve. Please. It won’t just be Hawkins kids there, I know Tommy’s inviting some of the football team from John Adams and maybe a couple of guys from the Rydell basketball team. Those are _your_ friends. And it’s in the Newman barn, Dani wants you there.”

“I’m not going.”

Julianna groaned, tipping her head back. “I was counting on you to save me.”

“Why are you going if you don’t even want to?” Dustin interjected.

“Because I’ve been recruited to acquire the alcohol and a sound system.” She gave a sharp smile. “Don’t worry, I’m charging interest. Easy $150.”

Steve said nothing, merely nodding in understanding but the younger boy narrowed his eyes.

“How? You’re not even old enough to drink.”

“Let’s just say I know a guy,” she responded cryptically.

“And she refuses to tell us who or where,” Steve tacked on. Dustin rolled his eyes.

Julianna shrugged and they all resumed their TV watching. The next time anyone spoke was when the credits of Miami Vice rolled.

“Hey, Steve?”

Steve looked up at Julianna. “Yeah?”

“Can I cash in a favor?” She hesitated. This was a lot to ask.

“I said I owed you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah but-”

“No buts, Jules. What can I do for you?”

Her words spilled out in a near-incoherent rush. “Please don’t get Billy kicked off the basketball team.”

“What?”

“I know you heard me, Steve. I said-”

“No, I know what you said. I just don’t understand.”

“Julianna feels guilty.”

 _“Dustin!”_ The boy’s curls bounced as he shrugged. At least now Julianna knew where his loyalties laid. She pushed Steve off her so he was sitting.

“What? Why?”

“Because she almost killed him last Saturday night. After he knocked you out,” Dustin supplied matter-of-factly.

“Did I not make you swear to not bring this up, dude?! Oh my god…” Julianna huffed, staring at the ceiling.

“Wait. What the fuck? Why did I not know this?”

The look Julianna shot Dustin made him recoil and keep his mouth shut, shut so tight that they discolored slightly.

“Because I didn’t want you to know. Didn’t want anyone to know, really.”

“What did you do?” Steve asked in barely concealed awe. Julianna hesitated again.

“She put a gun to his head. Safety wasn’t on.”

 _“Dustin!”_ came at the same time as, _“You what?!”_

“Listen! Everyone is still alive and I don’t want to fucking talk about this anymore. I just wanted this one favor, but nevermind.” It came out a little more defensive and aggressive than she meant. Julianna buried her face in her hands, breathing heavily through her nose. “I regret it the same way he regrets what he did to you,” came softer.

“He tell you that?” Steve questioned sarcastically.

She raised to meet his eyes. Molten chocolate, just like Sophie’s. “Not in so many words, but yeah. Now can we _please_ stop talking about this?”

Steve and Dustin must’ve heard something in Julianna’s voice because neither responded.

\---

Just as Julianna had predicted, for the next two weeks, Billy Hargrove ripped through Hawkins like a hurricane, leaving complete and utter destruction in his path. He picked fights and spent a lot of time in the backseat of the Camaro _entertaining company_ , drank most nights and cruised around the backroads at breakneck speeds, music so loud he couldn’t hear his own thoughts. This was all typical of him but he’d turned up the dial on his callousness, barking at anything that roused even the slightest sensation of irritation.

Anything to distract from the constant ache and pressure in his chest that made it hard to breathe, like he was bleeding into the space around his lungs. In fact, his father’s rage at his all-night benders served to ground him, because physical pain was always much more manageable. Everything he did had its own undercurrent of rage, maintaining everyone at a comfortable arm’s length.

Billy used his anger as fuel, as motivation. It was probably projection but he also found a deep satisfaction in other peoples’ anger as well. _Nothin’ sexier than a pissed off girl_ , in his opinion.

Even better, the one person who could see through his bullshit was MIA most of the time. The first week after that fateful Saturday night, Julianna spent her lunch periods in her car; sometimes with Dani, most of the time alone. He knew that because he could see her from his vantage point by the school doors where he usually smoked, not because he was looking for her or anything. She made a singular appearance at his lunch table on Friday to discuss the logistics of securing the booze for Tommy’s birthday party the following weekend.

He wasn’t _ignoring her_ per se, he just didn’t know how to navigate any type of relationship where someone _knew_. He assumed she knew that because she doesn’t pressure him, just occasionally checking visually to make sure he’s okay. _Could be worse_ , he reasoned, despite how irrationally uncomfortable it made him.

It was actually quite frightening, in a way. But not in that icy, bone-chilling fear like when he’s approaching his house an hour after curfew. No, it’s like… skydiving. Scary, but exhilarating.

Exhilarating because he never knew what to expect. Billy regularly caught Julianna looking his way with a completely different look in her eye and when their gazes met, she always smiled or winked, even blew a kiss a few times. It was confusing as fuck, something he mulled over while laying in bed, tipsy off stolen whiskey, eventually passing out. The smile he thought of before falling asleep was starting to look all too familiar.

Things changed a little the second week. Steve came back to school and he spent every lunch camped out in Julianna’s ‘Cuda, not that Billy cared or anything. Harrington’s bruises had started to yellow as they healed, but even so, Billy’s stomach gave a sickening lurch every time he saw the boy, ears burning under the unruly mullet. When people asked about it, Steve always gave a non-committal ‘you should see the other guy’ and divulged no further details. Well, people _have_ seen the other guy. And he was fine.

Billy no longer pushed him around on the court; they ended up playing on the same team in pickup at practice and he even passed Steve the ball, much to Steve’s confusion.

\---

_She was in the tunnels again. Running as fast as she could, the hard footfalls of her sister behind her. Black vines writhed all around her, the air thick with the ashy smell of death and decay._

_The demo-dogs were closing in fast but she could see light flooding in from the hole they came in through._

_Just a little further…_

_There! She hauled herself up with the rope with strength and speed she certainly didn’t possess in real life and turned back around to help Julianna out._

_The sisters gripped hands, Julianna dangling, trying to help Sophie pull her out. Both of them were grunting and straining but they couldn’t hear each other above the rush of wind and alien cries._

_The demo-dogs were launching themselves at Julianna’s legs as she fought to kick them off of her. The swinging of her body caused Sophie’s grip to slacken momentarily. Julianna was slipping away, into the demo pit below._

_She tried to readjust her grip with her other hand but it wouldn’t do. The dogs were clawing and biting at her sister’s calves now and she’s screaming, blood pouring into the abyss._

_“Let go, Sophie!”_

_“No!”_

_Julianna shakes herself free, a final attempt to force her baby sister to save herself. And she falls. But the scene changes and Sophie’s just watching Julianna tumble into blackness until she sees her limp body hit the top step of a vaguely familiar flight of stairs, rolling down them like a ragdoll, silvery hair whipping in all directions._

_She hears maniacal laughter behind her, an unhinged glee. Sophie whips around and for a moment, she sees Billy, howling in his madness before softening, cocking his head in confusion. Billy then morphs into her dad, unmistakable sunken eyes hardened, pupils red, growling, teeth bared. He lunges at her._

\---

Sophie’s nightmares were taking a toll on both siblings. The younger Janzen spent her nights either fitfully sleeping and screaming herself awake or awake, pacing Julianna’s room for fear of falling asleep. Julianna wasn’t sleeping much either, doing homework or reading instead so she could wake Sophie at the first sign of trouble.

They had taken up the habit of naps after school in order to balance their sleep schedules, passing out on the couch for a couple hours before dinner. Extracurricular days were the worst because they either slept and didn’t eat or ate and didn’t sleep.

It was during one of these afternoon siestas that the shrill ring of the phone startled them awake. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Julianna stumbled into the hallway and lifted the receiver to her ear.

“Hello?” she slurred out, still groggy.

“Julianna?”

“ _Mom?!_ ”

“Hi sweetie.”

Julianna stilled. They had barely spoken since August, since their screaming match when she got home from California, and now she was calling her pet names?

“How are you?”

A huff sounded on the other end. “Oh, you know. Work is crazy.”

“Always is.” Julianna shrugged, forgetting her mom couldn’t see her. She took a deep breath. “So, when am I picking you up? From Indy right?”

“What do you mean, hun?”

She furrowed her brows, flicked her eyes to Sophie who was leaning against the archway tiredly. She lowered her voice slightly.

“Um… Thanksgiving is next weekend?” Silence on the other end. “Y-you… uh… You are coming home, right?”

“Julianna…” her mom began. Oh _hell_ no.

“You cannot be serious. Tell me you’re joking.”

“Julianna, it’s just Thanksgiving. I’ll be home for Christmas, I promise.”

“But… you always come home for the holidays.” Her voice shook. “ _Every_ holiday.”

Sylvia was beginning to sound more irritated than apologetic. “I have obligations here at work, I can’t just leave my-”

“Can’t just leave your **what** , mother?! Can’t leave your fucking coworkers the same way you left your kids?” Julianna’s voice was even and low but extremely strained. “Jesus, I can’t believe you.”

“I know you’re a big girl, Julie. So put on your big girl panties. If this is about your sister, she’s not a baby anymore. She’s almost old enough to take care of herself too.” The softness of her mother’s voice was off-putting.

“Oh yeah? Well, that not-a-baby has been having nightmares and neither one of us has slept for the past two weeks and my god, it would be real fuckin’ nice to have someone else in this goddamn house to make _your daughter_ feel safe!” She was rambling now but she didn’t care. “Hm, I wonder who could _possibly_ do that for her. Surely not her own mother?”

“You sure know how to lay the guilt on real thick, Julianna. It would serve you well to remember who keeps you fed and warm and dry.”

“ **Me!** I do that! I pay all the bills and do all the grocery shopping. You just put money in the account as if that makes up for the fact that I’m basically a single parent.” She wanted to scream. At the top of her lungs. At such a pitch that all the windows and mirrors within a 2 mile radius would shatter. “Here. Tell your daughter what your plans are for Thanksgiving.” Julianna thrust the phone in Sophie’s direction and the little brunette trembled as she reached for it, tears already flowing freely.

Julianna sunk to the floor beside the phone, hands clamped tight over her mouth, rocking back and forth and trying to ignore her sister’s small sobs. For a few minutes, she pretended they weren’t her problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing dream sequences, let me know what you think! I love them so much, I think they're a great way to peer into a character's psyche and maybe teach them a thing or two about themselves or call to attention a neglected thought or fear.
> 
> Next chapter is Tommy's party, AKA the one where Julianna loses control.


	16. Cherry Bomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'When their eyes met, Billy stilled. He wasn’t looking into the lush green jungle he had grown to expect. Instead, he was looking into the smoldering remains of a forest fire. Shades of dull green and grey, smoke smothering a blaze that was so desperate to continue burning, continue destroying.'
> 
> TW: mental illness, underage drinking, mild drug use, mild violence, frequent use of f-bombs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I feel the need to reiterate the trigger warning for mental illness. I'm not diagnosing Julianna with anything but she is extremely unwell in this chapter and a chunk of the next.
> 
> The reason this chapter took me so long was because it was originally written from Julianna's POV but it was really heavy and intense and I wasn't comfortable posting it. You guys will get a glimpse in the next one.
> 
> Also, I threw some ABBA in there cause I recently heard the song and I thought of Billy and Julianna, let me know if you guys like it, I'm considering including more! :)

Billy had no idea how Tommy suckered him into this. Actually, that was a lie. He knew exactly how. Two words: free booze.

Tommy’s 16th birthday party was charted to top even Tina’s Halloween bash. It was being held in Dani’s parents’ barn; a spot that was offered in the name of ‘family’. Tommy had invited the entirety of Hawkins High’s upperclassmen as well as some acquaintances from other schools in the county. A popularity contest, clearly.

To make it even more ‘exclusive’, Tommy had the bright idea of charging cover; an entrance fee that would cover the cost of the booze being provided and perhaps a little extra to keep. $2 per person, not enough to break the bank but still, for Billy, that was a week’s worth of Marlboros.

Thus, when Dani insisted that it was Tommy’s party so he had to arrive early to set up, Billy was recruited to drive and help out with the promise of not having to pay up to enter. It would be a cool place to party soon enough; all cleared out into one large, empty space, disco lights strung haphazardly from the ceiling, and so far out of Hawkins that the cops wouldn’t be called for a noise complaint. It didn’t even stink of manure as he expected. It wasn’t a terrible gig, actually; all they had to do was help sweep and set up the dirty couches into makeshift sitting areas and cover them with blankets. Easy.

Billy was pointedly ignoring Dani and Tommy bickering; something they did near-constantly, when the roar of an approaching diesel engine reached their ears over Cyndi Lauper’s crooning from the boombox. He heard a slam right outside the double doors of the barn and the sound of a tailgate dropping.

Dani was already heading toward the doors when they’re toed open by a black boot.

“Party’s here!” The voice was simultaneously familiar and completely foreign.

Billy caught sight of Julianna kneeling up on the tailgate of a dark green Chevy, wrestling one of four kegs down single-handedly. Her hair was piled messily atop her head, too-big grey sweatpants sitting low on her wide hips, the legs bunching into her unlaced boots. Her baggy t-shirt was cropped short, riding up on her back to once again reveal the fading reminder of _that fucking night_ and Billy felt a fresh stab of the guilt he’d spent the past two weeks trying to swallow down.

He quickly jerked to attention when he realized he’d been staring, only to find Dani and Tommy doing the same. Billy turned back to Julianna and with a mixture of awe and concern, watched her pull the keg down and half carry, half drag it into the barn.

“That thing weighs like… 150 pounds….” he heard Tommy breathe quietly next to him.

 _162, actually._ Way more than a pipsqueak cheerleader should be able to conceivably move by herself. It was also only now dawning on Billy how underdressed she was for the weather. It was halfway through November, the weather below 50 degrees, and here’s Julianna prancing about in a cropped tee, her midriff exposed to the biting wind. Something heavy, uneasy, and ugly settled in Billy’s gut.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Julianna bit out as she pulled the keg into a corner. “Are you guys gonna fucking help or…? Just stare?” She raised an eyebrow at the three of them.

Billy snapped out of it first, dragging the other boy along with him toward the truck. They began to unload the three remaining kegs, Billy snorting as Tommy tried to pull one off the bed of the Chevy by himself, grunting and straining with the effort.

“Be careful with the cooler, by the way! It’s got the glass in it!” she called after them, her voice an artificially charming tinkle.

Out of his peripheral vision, Billy watched Julianna fumble a Camel from her pack and struggle to light it with violently shaky hands. It seemed as though her whole body was vibrating; if he could hear it, he imagined it would sound like TV static.

After the truck was empty, Dani and Tommy began setting up the sound system, leaving Billy to cautiously saunter over to Julianna who was organizing the drinks.

She was pulling bottle after bottle of cheap vodka from the large camping cooler they had brought in. Billy wordlessly began helping, if only for something to do. They hadn’t spoken outside of class at all since _that fucking night_ , he couldn’t claim he knew her, but he knew enough; there was something so inherently wrong, so unnatural about the way Julianna was acting. She was revved, redlining like an engine with a stuck throttle.

Her breaths came in small, uneven gasps, occasionally interspersed with deep lungfuls like she was drowning. Her movements were jerky and graceless, like a marionette controlled by an amateur puppeteer. She was slamming the bottles down unnecessarily hard and it took all of Billy’s self-control to not grab her wrist.

Gone were the days of flirtatious looks and blown kisses, only to be replaced by willful ignorance. His brain was screaming at him, rotating thoughts of _What the fuck?_ and _How doesn’t Dani see this? Why isn’t she doing something about it?_ sprinkled with some _How do I fix it?_

Billy felt like he was being suffocated by the anxious energy pouring off Julianna like a tidal wave. He tried to remain focused on the task, continuing to slowly pull bottles of white rum and a handle of whiskey when his eye caught a bottle of golden liquid. He lifted it out and examined the label.

“Who the hell drinks tequila in Hawkins?” he asked, almost to himself.

Julianna’s head snapped to him, almost like she forgot he was there. When their eyes met, Billy stilled. He wasn’t looking into the lush green jungle he had grown to expect. Instead, he was looking into the smoldering remains of a forest fire. Shades of dull green and grey, smoke smothering a blaze that was so desperate to continue burning, continue destroying. The ugly thing in his gut writhed almost painfully.

“Actually, that’s mine,” she clipped, pulling the bottle from his grasp and setting it aside. “José and I are old pals,” she tried to joke.

Billy remembered himself suddenly, tearing his eyes from her and barking out a laugh. “Yeah? He and I are pretty well acquainted, too. Pretty sure he’s kicked my ass a few times though.”

“If the rumors are true, he’d be one of the few,” Julianna deadpanned, reaching beneath the elastic holding her hair and producing a thick blunt with trembling fingers. The implicit meaning of her words was not lost on Billy.

She had barely managed to spark the end before Tommy came barreling over. “Not gonna share that?” Julianna shot him a glare that withered. Tommy switched tactics, opting to pout. “Come on, it’s my birthday.”

Julianna huffed a sigh and produced an Altoids container from her pocket and tossed it to Tommy. The freckle-faced boy eagerly opened it to reveal four perfectly rolled joints.

“All yours, birthday boy. You have Dani to thank for that.” Julianna took long drags, so forceful that the cherry popped off the end. Without making eye contact again, she held the end out for Billy, who took it slowly. It was fantastic weed, California quality, in his opinion.

Strange that even in her current state, she was still thinking about him, offering _him_ something. Even though it didn’t look like she had much left to give.

They worked in silence, passing the blunt back and forth, tearing open bags of ice and dumping them into the empty cooler. Billy knew what Julianna’s intentions were the moment he saw her assortment of ‘ingredients’ sitting on the large folding table. Jungle juice. Billy smiled to himself, slightly relieved that he wasn’t going to be subjected to the same disgusting punch as Tina’s.

The radio was playing _‘all the hits of yesterday and today’_ but could barely be heard over the sound of Tommy and Dani’s arguing. They were currently fighting over the lack of bathrooms, with Tommy insisting Dani let partygoers into her house on the other end of the property to pee.

It seemed to be making Julianna uncomfortable; she was shifting her weight from foot to foot and sometimes raising a shoulder to her ear as if trying to block the noise. Billy watched her nostrils rhythmically flare with her rapid breathing and all he wanted to do was scream for the two idiots to shut the fuck up.

He was about to do just that when he registered Julianna singing along with the radio, so quiet that at first, he thought he’d imagined it.

_‘I was an impossible case, no one ever could reach me… but I think I can see in your face, there’s a lot you can teach me’_

There was nothing special about her voice but she was remarkably on-key, even in her discomfort. Billy decided he’d much rather listen to her than Tommy and Dani somewhere behind them.

_‘And you make me talk, and you make me feel, and you make me show what I’m trying to conceal’_

Oddly fitting lyrics. Julianna was singing louder, forceful, constantly flicking her eyes to the bickering cousins passive-aggressively. Meanwhile, she and Billy poured bottles of vodka and rum into the cooler, followed by 7up, pineapple juice, and a few packets of powdered Kool-Aid until the mixture was bright orange.

_‘If I trust in you, would you let me down? Would you laugh at me, if I said I care for you? Could you feel the same way too?’_

She was almost yelling over Dani and Tommy now while aggressively stirring the concoction in the cooler. Billy snickered and their eyes met, hers shining with stubborn mischief, suddenly a little more alive. Julianna stuck the tip of her tongue flirtatiously between her teeth and one corner of her mouth turned up in a smirk. It was so mean yet so attractive and -

Is that what he looked like when he did that? _Damn._

_‘Your smile and the sound of your voice, and the way you see through me… Got a feeling you give me no choice, but it means a lot to me…’_

Did she fucking pick this song on purpose? _Jesus._ Billy distracted himself with a cigarette, now feeling way too high. He was dizzy and Julianna was sucking all the air from the room with her presence alone, still singing. His vision had been reduced to pinpoints, he could only see her.

_‘Oh yes, I wanna know, the name of the game… does it mean anything to you? What’s the name of the game? Can you feel it the way I do?’_

“Hey, bitch!” Billy looked up, grateful for the distraction, but Julianna didn’t, continuing to stack mountains of Solo cups, humming along to the closing chords loudly.

“I said, hey, bitch!” Tommy stomped over to Julianna, invading her space. She immediately took a few steps back, rounding the table to distance herself.

“I have a name, you know.” So cold. Icy.

“Too many syllables. ‘Bitch’ is just easier,” Tommy shrugged nonchalantly. Billy balked. He himself was impulsive and unfiltered on a good day, but Tommy clearly had a death wish.

Julianna looked up at him, delivered one of her whip-cracking smiles. “Wow, _syllables_. Big word for you, Thomas. Gold star-worthy, no doubt.”

Tommy scoffed. “God, you’re unbearable. It’s no wonder your mom never comes home, she probably can’t stand to be around you either.”

Billy barely had time to suck in a gasp before Julianna, at lightning speed, wrapped her fingers around the neck of the nearest bottle of vodka and launched it directly at Tommy’s head. He ducked just in time and the resulting smash of the bottle shattering against the woodgrain of the barn’s wall behind him was ear-splitting. Despite himself, Billy flinched.

“The fuck?! You’re psychotic, Janzen! You’re gonna fucking regret that!” Tommy was screaming profanities after Julianna, who, after slapping a five down to cover the broken bottle, snatched her keys and the tequila. She headed for the barn doors but not before turning around and leveling the other three teens with a schooled gaze.

“I was asked to bring you booze and music. I delivered. I’ll see you guys later.” She stomped out without a backward glance.

As the reverberating engine noise drew farther away, Dani rounded on Tommy.

“That was so uncalled for, man.” She had her hands on her hips, lips pursed, looking a lot like a disappointed parent.

“Are you serious?! She almost killed me!” Even his freckles were red now, the flush reaching to his ears as he gestured wildly, looking to Billy for validation.

The blonde boy made the best decision he could at that moment and merely walked out, trying to will away the bloody rage that gripped him.

By the time he turned onto Cherry Lane, he was only simmering. He parked out front instead of in the driveway, toeing his boots off on the porch. He could hear muffled voices, two preteen girls immersed in what he assumed were conversations about stupid things like boys and makeup and clothes.

He opened the door to find Max and Sophie curled up together on the couch whispering and giggling, and Susan banging around in the kitchen somewhere. Neil probably went to the bar to escape the estrogen.

True to form, Max merely raised her head slightly in acknowledgment before mumbling something about snacks and leaving the room. If Billy was being honest, it bothered him that they hadn’t spoken in weeks. Not since _that fucking night_.

Sophie gave him a small wave and a smile before turning back to the TV. Her warmth startled him. He hadn’t seen her around much because of Max’s grounding but he got the impression that she was permanently bubbly and happy. The words were out before he even realized he’d said anything.

“What’s wrong with Julianna?”

The little brunette returned her gaze to him and narrowed her eyes as if trying to gauge his sincerity.

“Ask her yourself.”

“I’m asking you.”

Sophie tilted her head to the side slightly and smiled as if she knew something he didn’t.

“She’d tell you, you know. If you asked.”

“I’m asking you,” Billy repeated, grinding it out through gritted teeth.

He watched as her face fell. Felt a small sting in his chest because he hadn't meant to do that. Hadn’t meant to freak her out.

“What happened?” Sophie’s voice was small, scared now. Billy realized that she hadn’t been reacting to him.

“She just - I don’t know. Doesn’t seem like herself, I guess.” He raised his shoulders a little, feigning disinterest.

That thing worming in the pit of his stomach expanded into his throat at the little girl’s facial expression; the worry that creased her delicate features practically aged her 30 years. Sophie opened and closed her mouth a few times as if she wanted to say something and then repeatedly thought better of it.

“Spit it out, kid.”

“N-no, nothing. I was… uh… I was just gonna ask you to keep an eye on her tonight but that’s obviously not your job. S-so never mind.”

“You’re right. It’s not my job.” He thought of someone else who did a lot of nice things that weren’t her job either. With that, Billy headed for the shower.

——

He’d been at the party for nearly 40 minutes and still no sign of Julianna. Not concerning yet, she was notorious for being chronically late but that didn’t stop Billy from raising himself to his toes to scan the crowd every few minutes. The music was so loud he could barely hear his own thoughts over the thudding bass.

“Looking for someone?” Tommy bumped him from behind and cackled. The party only started an hour ago and he was sloshed. Carol was hanging off his arm like they were prom king and queen or something. It was nauseating.

“Fuck off, man. You’re wasted.” Billy gave him a shove on the shoulder as he passed him, causing Carol to have to steady Tommy by herself as he teetered.

He had no desire to drink, too high-strung on the residual anxiety from earlier. He’d been nursing the same cup of jungle juice since he arrived, barely paying attention to the people his team was introducing him to.

Billy pretended to listen to stories of wins and losses, all the while eavesdropping elsewhere for any sign of a certain blonde. It was a shame, really. It was a fantastic party, the kind that Billy lived for. Debauchery of all sorts, rowdiness, a never-ending stream of ready and willing girls to disappear into his backseat with. But tonight, for maybe the first time ever, he didn’t care.

He needn’t have been worried about missing her. She was impossible to miss. He felt her in every cell of his body when she stepped into the barn. That was a new thing, apparently. Billy seemed to have a sixth sense for knowing when Julianna was around. He tried not to dwell on _that_ too much.

When he finally saw her, Billy did a double-take. Julianna’s naturally wavy hair had been styled straight, extending down to her tailbone, the crown of her head teased for volume, wispy bangs gently grazing her eyebrows. She was wearing a silky red, cowl-neck minidress that clung to her curves underneath her boxy leather jacket. Her makeup was reminiscent of the 50s; thick black eyeliner flicked out into a long wing, plush lips painted to match her dress. Instead of heels, she was still wearing her signature black Docs and she had the ring-clad fingers of her left hand wrapped around the neck of her bottle of tequila, the cap already missing.

The crowd parted for her with ease as Julianna enthusiastically greeted friends and acquaintances. Even over the music, Billy could hear that same artificial tinkle he’d heard earlier and it grated like nails on a chalkboard.

“Oh boy, looks like Julianna might be saving the tequila for another night.” Dani had drunkenly sidled up next to Billy, both of them watching the blonde girl.

“What?” Billy had to yell over the music and Dani leaned into him to explain.

As Julianna approached in their general direction, she was abruptly stopped by a guy from Rydell that he met earlier, a tall, broad-shouldered boy with dark hair and dark eyes. He was looking at Julianna with what could only be described as hunger, his predatory smile stretching ear to ear.

“Julianna doesn’t hook up when she’s been drinking.” He knew that. He remembered her telling him at Tina’s. “But that’s Troy Burke. They’ve had their sights on each other for a while now.” The freckled girl waggled her eyebrows at Billy suggestively.

Billy felt his insides clench painfully. “Do you think that’s a good idea?” He hoped Dani would hear the unspoken _Do you think she’s okay?_ in his voice.

She must’ve because she was quick to dismiss. “Yeah, of course. I mean, it’s not my call. The thing earlier with Tommy… uh, she gets like that sometimes, she’ll be fine.” Her cavalier attitude about the whole situation shook Billy to the core. Before he could even formulate a new thought, Dani disappeared into the thick crowd.

Billy crept forward, his feet carrying him before he even decided to do so. He wasn’t going to do anything, he just wanted to sit back and observe, make sure Julianna didn’t get into any trouble.

“Wow, beautiful… Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

 _Oh god._ Billy nearly gagged.

Her uncharacteristic lilt fell away into a harsh, cruel laugh. Julianna was pretending to closely examine her nails on the hand that wasn’t white-knuckling the bottle.

“Hm… I think you’ve got me all wrong, Troy.” She entered his space, stared up at him with empty eyes. She was an entire foot shorter but something about her presence was huge and imposing. “I didn’t fall from heaven. Although, I think I broke a nail clawing my way up from hell.”

The kid shook off his shock faster than Billy expected. “I’m no stranger to dancing with the devil.” He was leering at her now, reaching to grab her by the hips.

Before his hands could settle, Julianna extended her free hand, splaying her fingers to push the boy away by the face, hard enough that he stumbled back a few steps.

As if she knew he was watching, Julianna shot Billy a wink and walked away with the bottle to her lips. He smirked and calmed slightly, knowing she could still take care of herself. He finally allowed himself another drink and joined in on the hell-raising, trusting that his instincts would tell him if there was something wrong. It was okay if they didn’t though, because it wasn’t his job.

He was next up for the keg when Tommy gleefully tugged at his emerald button-up (unbuttoned almost to his navel, naturally). He had sobered up a little, but was still loose enough to think he could yank Billy around. “Dude, you’ve gotta come see this. The girls are playing truth or dare!”

Billy shook himself from Tommy’s grip, smoothing the wrinkles from his shirt. “So?” he yelled over the music.

Tommy rolled his eyes like it was Billy who was being ridiculous. “Just coooooomeeeeee…” he whined.

He would never admit it, but Billy was a little curious about the game so he let Tommy lead the way to the back corner of the barn furthest from the speakers where they had grouped four couches into a loose circle. He recognized a few of the girls there; Tina, Carol, Vicki, Cheryl, as well as Dani, who was snuggly bracketed by Julianna’s tanned legs as she perched on the backrest of the farthest couch along the wall. The latter looked like she wanted to be literally anywhere else.

Billy quickly learned the rules, since apparently the girls of Hawkins had modified the game. They went clockwise around the circle for who got to ask ‘truth or dare?’. You could pick anyone else in the circle to answer. However, the trick was, if you didn’t want to answer or do the dare, you had to drink and you could pass it on to one other person in the group. If you did answer or do the dare, you could pass it to three people.

By the time Billy and Tommy had gotten there, the girls had already garnered quite the audience and the game had gotten steamy.

It was Dani’s turn. “Hey Carol, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“What’s your favorite sex position?” The shit-eating grin on Dani’s face was infectious, with Billy feeling a tug on the corners of his mouth. Carol took a tentative sip of her drink, avoiding eye contact with Tommy.

“Are you serious?! That question was tame! Get out of the game if you’re gonna be a prude, Carol!”

“Screw off, Julianna. You answer then.” Carol flipped Julianna off, but the blonde didn’t see because she was too busy howling with laughter.

Her expression leveled out but a filthy smile was still playing on her lips as she shrugged. “Missionary. One of my legs on his shoulder, the other wrapped around his waist.”

Billy nearly choked on his drink as a chorus of _ouuuuuus_ and scandalized gasps sounded throughout the group. That was definitely a mental image he would be filing away for later.

They continued to play, the questions getting more and more personal and risque. Carol’s underwear was now in Tommy’s pocket, one of the girls Billy didn’t know was dared to spend the next round topless in nothing but her bra and Julianna was dared to flash everyone, upskirt. The joke was on them for that last one though, as Julianna did a sexy shimmy only to reveal a pair of black spandex shorts underneath her dress.

The game took a turn when one of the quieter girls asked one of her friends who she was crushing on. Weird, given that the previous ‘truth’ question was “what is your ultimate sexual fantasy?”.

The girl very timidly answered with a small squeak of “Steve Harrington” before promptly burying her face in her hands. There was an uproar of hoots and laughter, most of it in good faith, commending the shy girl for speaking up. And since she answered, she got to pass the question to three more people. She sent the question right back to her friend, as well as to Vicki and Julianna.

Both Vicki and Angela took long sips from their Solo cups and then all eyes turned to Julianna. She huffed a breath, looking into her half-empty bottle.

“I’ll answer, but I need a drink first.” She put the bottle to her lips and took a long pull. Billy watched as her throat worked through her swallows and his heart rate sped. It was anyone’s guess whether that was anxiety or arousal coursing through him.

When she lowered her drink (didn’t even flinch, by the way), she continued staring back into the bottle for a few moments before raising her head with a devious smile.

“I’m crushing on the same person as most of the people sitting in this circle. You guys are just too chicken shit to admit it.” The girls in the group were looking awfully uncomfortable as Julianna continued. “Hell, Carol has a boyfriend and she _still_ has a crush on Billy Hargrove. You’d be blind or stupid not to, really.”

Vicki had to restrain Carol and the corner of the barn filled with her outraged protests, which honestly just made her look dumber. Tommy had angrily stalked off somewhere but Billy stayed put, dumbfounded.

Not because other girls had a crush on him, that was a given. But Julianna? Someone who’d seen the worst of him? Didn’t seem likely, but with the self-conscious way she was avoiding his gaze… He decided he would figure out how to feel about this new development later.

Carol had rushed off after Tommy to do damage control and the game continued. Julianna was now bouncing her feet on the couch cushions, causing Dani to bounce with them. Dani kept smacking Julianna’s legs but she only stopped for about 30 seconds each time. And when she wasn’t anxiously bouncing, she was drinking. The tequila was now about three-quarters of the way gone. It was a wonder that she was still upright with her eyes open.

 _‘She would tell you, if you asked.’_ Billy wasn’t going to, no way. She was fine. Julianna was still herself, for the most part, but it was as if the worst parts of her personality had been multiplied tenfold. More obnoxious, louder. Reckless, uncaring. Her risk assessment abilities were clearly out the window. Even with all the alcohol acting as a nervous system depressant, her hands were still shaking. Thankfully her breathing seemed more level now, not that he could tell from so far away.

Tina’s voice broke through Billy’s contemplation.

“Jules, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“What’s your deepest, darkest secret?”

 _Only a fucking idiot would answer that one_ , Billy thought. Especially because he knew what hers was. Or, he assumed he did.

Julianna barked a laugh. “Oh, let’s see.” She pondered for a moment. “I know. I almost died in some creepy underground tunnel with a bunch of preteens because of a stupid government experiment gone wrong and I signed so many legal documents that I’d probably be hunted down and strung up by my ankles if I ever told anyone about it.”

Silence fell upon the group. They were all looking at each other in shock, trying to determine if it was true. There’s no way, right? It couldn’t be. Everyone seemed to agree on it simultaneously as they burst into fits of laughter.

“You almost had us there for a second, Julianna!”

“You’re full of shit!”

“It was funny though, I’ll admit it.”

“If you didn’t wanna say, just take a damn drink!”

Billy had goosebumps. Something in her words rang true for him and cold dread crept up his neck. Julianna took one more swig of tequila before swinging a leg over Dani and hopping off the couch.

“I’m out, enjoy the game!” She saluted them all with her bottle and allowed herself to be absorbed by the crowd.

\---

The next time Billy saw Julianna was when he had crept out for some fresh air and a smoke. Dani didn’t care if they smoked inside, making the air in the barn thick with a haze of tobacco and shitty weed. It was also a lot warmer inside, meaning Billy was the only one out there. Or so he thought.

There were cars parked in haphazard rows in front of the barn, with his and Julianna’s side by side in the second row. At school, they usually parked beside one another or within a few spaces. Billy reasoned that it was out of convenience since Sophie and Max always left school together. Apparently, even with her late arrival, someone had guaranteed the ‘Cuda a spot beside the Camaro. Like it belonged there.

Billy appraised the two cars; both flashy and in-your-face, the effect multiplied when viewed together. He was so engrossed in his admiration that he nearly missed the limp body sprawled across the roof of the Barracuda in the darkness.

Julianna was laying on her back, feet towards Billy, bottle hanging loosely between her fingers. The only sign of life was the small puff of condensation with her breaths in the cold night air. Billy shivered sympathetically; she must’ve been freezing.

He approached her slowly, having exactly zero plan for what he would do when he was close enough. He was almost in front of his Camaro, close enough to call to her when he saw red and blue flashing in his periphery, getting closer by the second. Billy dove around the side of his car, crouching between it and the beat-up Volvo parked on his other side.

He could’ve sworn he heard Julianna huff in exasperation, but otherwise, she made no attempt to move. Billy heard a door slam and the sound of approaching footsteps. He hoped that he could sneak away quietly before the party was busted.

He was surprised when Julianna’s voice called out. “We’re in the middle of nowhere, don’t try telling me we’re too loud.”

A rumbling sound emanated from somewhere to Billy’s left. It took him a moment to realize it was laughter. “Actually, I was called to do a welfare check. A little birdie was worried about her big sister.”

Julianna groaned. “Why didn’t you tell the ‘little birdie’ to get lost?” Billy could hear a slight slur in her words now. She sighed quietly, defeated. “I did something dumb.”

“Clearly. Did you drink all that?” The cop sounded incredulous, probably gawking at the nearly-empty bottle of tequila.

“I’m in no shape for a lecture, Hop.” Since when was Julianna on a nickname-basis with the police chief? Billy’s brow furrowed.

“That much is obvious. Dump it out, Julianna, or so help me god.”

“Or what, Chief?” She sounded defiant but the telltale splash of liquid hitting the ground said otherwise.

Hopper let out an annoyed breath. “Are we really doing this shit again? I thought you were past this.”

 _Again? Past what?_ Dani’s words echoed in Billy’s head. _‘She gets like that sometimes.’_

“I’m just having fun.”

“Really? You’re having fun right now?” Sarcasm dripped from Hopper’s voice.

Billy couldn’t hear an answer despite how hard he was straining to eavesdrop.

“You know, maybe I should have a conversation with your mother about this.”

“HA! When you get ahold of her, please pass her contact info along. I’d appreciate it.”

“Isn’t she coming home for Thanksgiving?”

Silence. Louder than if she had screamed.

The next time the chief spoke, it was much softer. “Want me to drive you home?”

“Nah, I can’t be at home. I’ll sleep in my car, I have blankets in the back.”

There was a slight waver in her voice but otherwise she sounded more sober than Billy expected.

“Get in your car then. You’re shaking.”

“I know. I want to be cold.”

“Why?”

“Because if I’m cold, then that’s why I can’t stop shaking, not because I’m losing my mind.”

Billy’s breath hitched. He assumed Hopper’s continued silence was him contemplating his options.

“You’re not losing your mind, Julianna.”

“Really? Sure feels like it.” Her breathing was just as uneven as earlier that day.

“You’ll be fine, kiddo. You just need to sleep off the liquor.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I’m gonna go, need to report back to the little birdie. Don’t be too hard on her tomorrow, yeah?”

“No promises.”

Billy heard Hopper shuffle to leave.

“Hey, Jim?” The shuffling stopped. “What are you and Ellie doing for Thanksgiving?”

“Uh…” The question caught him off guard. “Nothing, probably just gonna order pizza and watch old Westerns.”

“You guys should come over. If you buy the turkey, I’ll do all the cooking.”

“You’re going to forget you asked by morning.”

“So if I called you tomorrow morning and asked, would you come?” She sounded so hesitant, fragile.

“Maybe. Now get in your damn car, Janzen.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” Julianna giggled before Billy heard her roll off her car with a grunt and open the driver’s side door.

When Hopper’s Blazer tore out of the field, Billy emerged from behind his car, walked around to Julianna’s passenger side, pulled the door ajar and got in.

Julianna jumped in surprise, masked quickly by an irritated scowl. She had just opened her mouth when Billy interrupted.

“Save your breath, I’m not leaving.”


	17. I Think We're Alone Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Julianna looked ethereal in the moonlight. The blue-white glow washed over her hair, painting it a glittering silver. She resembled Selene, the moon goddess… if, of course, that goddess had just walked out of a Motley Crue music video. All smeared lipstick and disheveled hair, mascara and eyeliner smudged messily around her bloodshot eyes. No longer in God’s good graces; an angel kicked out of heaven. Billy was willing to bet it did hurt when she fell.'
> 
> We are making massive leeway plot-wise. Huge trust building abound in more relationships than one!
> 
> TW for language and a short scene involving child abuse, nothing too graphic. Oh and Julianna's still not doing great as far as her mental health goes but she's getting better. Sort of.

After recovering from the shock of Billy’s abrupt arrival, Julianna sat back in her seat and pulled her legs to her chest. Her dress strained uncomfortably against her. A kaleidoscope of nasty, scary colors bloomed behind her closed lids. Different shapes of blood red and deep purple expanding, contracting, turning with her uneven breaths. Like a party in a hurricane, streamers and confetti everywhere.

“Go back to the party, your friends.” She hugged her knees and closed her eyes, trying to stop trembling. “Tommy’s probably looking for you.”

Irritation struck. “You really want me to go?”

_No._ Julianna ventured a peek at Billy, saw his eyes glinting in the moonlight as they bore into her. Into her soul. She gave a tiny nod.

“Say it.”

“Say what?”

“Tell me, ‘Billy, I want you to leave me here, alone.’ Then I’ll leave.” His voice was gruff, annoyed.

Julianna stayed silent. Couldn’t bring herself to do it.

_Please don’t leave me._

“That’s what I fucking thought.” Billy adjusted the seat to get comfortable, leaning back and closing his eyes.

They stayed that way for a while, breathing each other’s air. It seemed like forever, but was probably no longer than a few minutes. She fought the urge to lean into him across the console. Billy’s magnetism was still an ever-present force, even in her current state. Her abs were aching from the effort not to vibrate apart, her chest was being crushed. No amount of oxygen was enough. Her attempts at leveling her breathing were exhausting her.

“It’s a lame party anyway,” Billy spoke up suddenly. Lied. Perhaps to make her feel better?

Julianna scoffed, paled when the sound hurt. Normalcy hurt, and not in the way she liked. “No, it isn’t. That was probably the best party we’ve had since summer.”

“Well, the worst party in Cali was still better than the best party here,” he muttered, voice reflecting contempt.

“But we’re not in California, are we?” The sarcastic argument was actually making her feel a little better. Took her mind off things.

“Clearly not. It’s goddamn freezing here.”

“Thank god,” Julianna murmured under her breath. Billy didn’t question her, leading her to believe he probably heard her conversation with Hopper. If she was in her right mind, it might’ve occurred to her to be embarrassed. But in all honesty, if she was going to completely lose her shit in front of anyone, she was glad it would be Billy.

Amidst the raging storm inside her, amidst the darkness, where rain and hail pelted her so hard she bruised and the wind blew so strong she wasn’t sure what was keeping her on the ground anymore, somewhere in the distance, there was a beacon of light. Far away, there was safety and calm. This newfound shelter came in the form of the mullet-haired boy sitting next to her, arguing with her about inconsequential shit.

There was a poetic irony in finding comfort in one of the most volatile people she’d ever met. She didn’t know his intentions and didn’t think she had the mental stamina to figure it out right then but the important thing was that he was _here_. Anchoring her so she wouldn’t be swept out to sea by the storm in her own mind.

“You better not fuckin’ die on me, Trouble.”

“I won’t,” she answered unconvincingly. Nausea was beginning to creep up on her from the booze, fueling her anxiety. She shook harder and she pushed her door open for some air. “Just feels like I’m going to,” she added quietly. She couldn’t believe she thought she could drink this away. It never worked any of the other times.

Julianna felt Billy’s eyes on her, like lasers burning into the side of her head. Shockingly, it didn’t feel judgemental. She tried to relax into his stare, let him pick her apart. Because all that mattered was that he was there.

“You’re having a panic attack, I think.”

She raised her head too quickly, dropping it back down and shutting her eyes once more. The air felt alive, expanding and contracting out of sync. With her eyes open, her world warped sickeningly.

She scrambled for the energy to respond as nonchalantly as possible. “Is that so? You’re a regular Sherlock Holmes, huh?”

“I mean, it doesn’t look like any panic attack I’ve ever -” _had_ “- seen.”

Julianna caught his hesitation, understood even in her stormy mind what it meant. Kept pushing him though, because she wanted to hear him talk. _Needed_ him to keep talking.

Because he was here, with her. And she’d be damned if she didn’t take advantage of it.

“What do you mean?”

Billy took a moment, like he was weighing his words. “You sound awfully sane for someone who thinks they’re losing their mind.”

So he did hear her and the chief. _Crap._

“What can I say? It’s a gift.” She knew how terrible she sounded, voice weak and gravelly. Her joke wasn’t funny, if one could even call it a joke. Truth was, Julianna was no stranger to panic attacks, no stranger to the feeling of reality distorting until it slipped away. Billy’s strange presence and the bitter cold of the November night were the only things keeping her tethered to the present.

“What are you afraid of?”

_Woah._

“Right now? Or in general?” Stupid question because the answer wouldn’t change. Julianna’s forehead rested between her knees, she spoke into her thighs, muffling herself.

“Uh… right now, I guess?”

“Puking.”

Billy snorted. “You’re joking?” Julianna liked how he downplayed it. Like it wasn’t a big deal. Because it wasn’t. To other people.

“No,” she sighed, her body finally allowing her a full exhale.

She couldn’t see him but the pregnant silence indicated he was processing the new information. She focused on the smell of his cologne and the way it combined with the leather of her interior, letting it wash over her. That was something Julianna would be happy to drown in.

“You’d probably feel better. You drank a lot.” Straight to the point. Matter of fact. No pity. How was it that he delivered exactly what she needed?

“I know I would, it’s a fact. That isn’t the problem.” A violent shudder ripped through her, Billy ignored it.

“I’ll even hold your hair. That’s something that would impress a chick, right?”

Despite herself, Julianna smiled into her thighs. She didn’t realize that she neglected to reply.

“What makes you feel better?”

Julianna stilled, couldn’t believe he was asking. Her universe slowed its spinning and she felt the potential for stability for the first time in days. She almost wanted to have him repeat it, but she doubted he would.

“Are you asking because you feel obligated to or are you asking because you care about my answer?”

Billy grunted awkwardly beside her. “I’m asking.”

That was good enough. “Distraction.”

“What?”

“Just… talk.”

“About?”

“Anything.”

\---

Billy wondered if Julianna would remember any of this in the morning. Sometimes, her speech patterns showed her intoxication but other times, she seemed stone-cold sober.

He realized it didn’t matter. She was being honest with him, so he should return the favor. After all, Billy Hargrove was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a liar. Thus, he decided to share what had been on his mind for a while. And once he started, he couldn’t stop. The words just kept tumbling out.

“When we were getting ready to move, it was an unspoken agreement that I’d drive the Camaro here. Neil hated it but there wasn’t enough room in the moving truck anyway. He told Max that she was riding with me.” Billy chuckled humorlessly. “I think my dad was using her as an insurance policy to make sure I wouldn’t disappear in the Arizona desert or some shit. I definitely thought about it. He also probably found satisfaction in knowing Max would torment me the entire time.”

Billy looked at Julianna. Her breathing had slowed, head tilted back and her eyes closed but her fingers were still shaking where they were wrapped around her knees.

“God, I was ready to kill her 20 minutes into the drive. I was considering all my options. Do I drive us off a cliff into the ocean? Do I veer into oncoming traffic?” He smiled slightly. “We did the drive over three days. The first day was the worst. Max kept fucking with the radio and messing up my tapes and when she wasn’t doing that, she was talking. Asking a bunch of dumbass questions about Indiana, worrying about making new friends. My fingers were numb by the end of the day from white-knuckling the steering wheel.”

“What about the second day?”

He hesitated. “The second day, we had a screaming match in a motel parking lot because she bumped my car with her stupid skateboard. We didn’t talk the whole day.” Billy took a deep breath.

“But whenever she opened a bag of chips, she would offer it to me. Whenever she reached for a Coke, she’d give me one too. She read her comics and didn’t touch my radio. I fuckin’ loved it. I’d been waiting for some goddamn peace and quiet.”

Billy took a deep breath, saw Julianna’s mouth quirk in his periphery. Like she knew something he didn’t.

“Fuck are you laughing at?” He turned fully to face her, noticed she wasn’t shaking anymore.

“Not laughing. I like this story, keep going,” she breathed gently.

Billy sighed, unsure if he wanted to continue. “On the third day, the quiet got -” _lonely_ “- boring. I started doing shit to bug her; poking her in the side while she read, ad-libbing the lyrics to whatever song was on to some form of ‘Maxine smells’. But… the kid has a great poker face. Other than almost breaking my finger one time, she didn’t react at all. It was only when I reached for my pack of Oreos from the backseat and offered her some did she finally speak. All she said was ‘thanks’ but it felt like a fucking weight was lifted off my shoulders.”

And then they had arrived in Hawkins and whatever isolated bubble they had existed in popped. Neil was, well, Neil and Susan was oblivious, as always. Max had remembered how sad, scared, and angry she was. So did Billy. It didn’t occur to either of them that they were on the same team.

Julianna remained silent, her head now turned to watch Billy. It made his skin crawl. He felt himself getting hot under her gaze and, as if he was dosed with truth serum, he confessed.

“She hasn’t spoken to me in two weeks.”

“I know. Does that bother you?”

“I didn’t think it would.” It was like word vomit. The floodgates were open now.

Billy peered at his watch. 12:22. Eight minutes until his new curfew, courtesy of his father. If he left now, he might only be a few minutes late and could avoid Neil’s wrath. But then he looked at Julianna. Decided that she was in more pain now than he would be in tomorrow, so he stayed.

Julianna looked ethereal in the moonlight. The blue-white glow washed over her hair, painting it a glittering silver. She resembled Selene, the moon goddess… if, of course, that goddess had just walked out of a Motley Crue music video. All smeared lipstick and disheveled hair, mascara and eyeliner smudged messily around her bloodshot eyes. No longer in God’s good graces; an angel kicked out of heaven. Billy was willing to bet it did hurt when she fell.

\---

Well, it worked. Julianna was so entranced by Billy’s recounting of their move to Indiana that she forgot her panic attack.

Of course, she knew Max wasn’t speaking to her brother. She also knew how much it bothered Little Red but Julianna continued urging her silence. You would think a baseball bat between the legs would be enough to get an apology out of Billy Hargrove but alas, t’was not the case. So, maybe the little seed she planted that night needed some water. Or fertilizer.

Keeping her eyes closed, head tilted back against the seat, Julianna spoke for the first time in 20 minutes. “Have you ever tried… oh, I don’t know, apologizing to her?”

Billy snorted incredulously. “And say _what_? ‘Sorry I’m an asshole’? Max wouldn’t buy that shit.”

“If you meant it, she would.” Julianna sighed. “I don’t think she’s looking for the perfect brother. She just doesn’t want to feel like you and her are always at war. I’m sure your house is enough of a battlezone already, you both could use a break.”

To that, Billy said nothing. Julianna gently tried again. She could finally breathe.

“Maybe you don’t even have to say anything. You didn’t say anything when you offered your Oreos. Just, I don’t know, fucking pass her the salt so she doesn’t have to reach across the dinner table for it. Some small gesture of armistice. Don’t complicate it.”

A beat of comfortable silence passed between the two. Julianna was finally feeling the effects of the harsh November night so she slammed her door and climbed into her backseat. She yanked a spare pair of sweatpants over her dress and cocooned herself in the blanket she kept back there.

“Feeling better?” Billy appraised her casually with a raised brow.

“Yeah… for now.” She sighed into the seat, wishing the leather wasn’t so damn cold.

“Shove over, Janzen.” Before Julianna could respond, Billy forced his hulking frame between the front seats to join her in the back, sitting on the opposite end and pulling some of the blanket off Julianna for himself.

She was speechless but incredibly grateful. She had been dreading his departure from the moment he joined her in the car.

“Y-you can stretch out if you want,” Julianna mumbled nervously. She pressed further into the seat so that Billy could put his legs up. She adjusted the blanket so they were both adequately covered.

“So, you have a crush on me?” Julianna reddened at his filthy smirk and buried her face in her hands. “Aw, come on. Don’t get all embarrassed now.” Billy toed her thigh playfully with his boot.

Without lifting her face from her palms, Julianna responded, “I meant what I said. Show me a girl with functioning eyes that says she doesn’t have a crush on you and I’ll show you a liar.”

Billy chuckled and Julianna’s skin tingled at the sound. Maybe if she hadn’t drank so goddamn much, they’d be in the backseat for a completely different reason.

“What can I say? I’m very desirable,” he purred sarcastically.

“You’re so full of yourself.”

“If you play your cards right, you could be full of me too.”

Julianna choked on her breath, coughing violently. The blush that had begun to recede came back, full force, blooming shades of pink and red across her face, neck and chest.

She peered up at Billy, who had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. Her face twitched and gave way to a toothy smile to match. “Oh my god, B. You’re ridiculous.”

He shook his head. “I don’t think I am.” Julianna rolled her eyes dramatically and Billy softened. “You should get some sleep though. I’ll stay for a bit.”

“But -”

“Shut up and sleep, JJ.”

Julianna didn’t even have time to register the new nickname. Like magic, her eyelids became heavy on Billy’s gruff command and she slipped into darkness, lulled into a dreamless sleep by his warmth and even breathing.

\---

Billy awoke with a start, momentarily alarmed by the unfamiliar setting. Julianna’s soft snores brought him back to the backseat of the Barracuda. Their legs were tangled together, sharing body heat. He took a moment to admire the girl’s sleeping form in the darkness. Finally at peace after what he assumed was an extremely long and hard day for her.

The party was over, he could tell by the distinct lack of cars out in the field and the absence of vibrating bass from the music. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, intending on sneaking away once Julianna had passed out but… then he didn’t.

He was so fucked.

A look at his watch revealed that it was a little past five in the morning and Billy prayed to any and every deity that his father didn’t wait up for him.

Another reason he was fucked.

He slowly extricated himself from the tangle of limbs, trying desperately to not wake Julianna in the meantime. However, he need not have worried, the tequila and exhaustion had her out cold. He pulled himself through the gap in the front seats and quietly pushed the passenger door open.

Billy grabbed a water bottle he kept in his car and gently reached back in and set it on the sleeping girl’s lap before jumping into his own car to make the trek home.

He had just whizzed past the gas station when he was struck with a thought. He quickly shifted into reverse on the empty road and pulled into the parking lot. He rushed in before he could lose his nerve.

\---

Julianna woke alone in the backseat of her car, freezing her ass off. The leather of her jacket had cooled against her skin and her legs were chilly even beneath her sweats and a blanket. She was uncomfortable and felt like shit. Her sweatpants were itchy, her head was pounding, there was a terrible taste in her mouth. What a mess. She missed the space heater-type of warmth that she had fallen asleep to. Now, the small wrinkles and divets in the leather of the seat opposite her were the only reminder that the space was recently occupied.

She was thirsty. So. Damn. Thirsty. And, as if the mere thought conjured it into reality, she saw the water bottle in her lap. The small gesture was enough to make the blood sing in her veins, reviving her as she put the bottle to her lips. She briefly wondered when she started reacting this way when someone did the bare minimum for her. It was infuriating, and also immensely sad.

She pulled herself into her driver’s seat, scowling, forcing away the small smile that was tugging viciously on the corners of her mouth. The clock on her dash read 7:14, leaving her with just under three hours to get home, shower, take a power nap and pick up Sophie from Max’s at ten.

She drove home extra carefully, still feeling slightly intoxicated from the night before. Julianna took the time to reflect on the past few days. The argument with her mom, Sophie crying, her subsequent loss of control, her sister’s ever-present concern. The party, Billy, her panic attack, Billy, Chief Hopper’s visit… _Hopper!_ She needed to call him.

After an extremely long shower, made longer by virtue of the fact that Julianna couldn’t stand and had to go through the motions while seated, she decided to omit the nap and went straight for her address book tucked beside the phone. She dialed Hopper’s home number, hoping he had the day off. It wasn’t even nine in the morning yet but a chipper voice answered after the first ring.

“Hi!”

Julianna’s lips twitched. “Hi Ellie.” She could hear the chief scolding her in the background about answering the phone. She was stubbornly arguing back.

_“It’s Julianna!,”_ she called, sounding muffled. She was probably trying to cover the receiver.

_“You didn’t know that!”_

“ _Yes. I did._ Sorry. Jim is being dumb.” Julianna snorted at Hopper’s outraged protests in the background.

“Dads can be dumb sometimes, but he’s right. You really shouldn’t be answering the phone, sweetpea.”

“I knew it was you. I saw you.” There was a short pause. “Sad? Scared?”

Julianna sobered. Hopper probably asked her to check in. She bristled at the invasion of privacy, but was also kind of grateful.

“I’m okay, El. Feeling better now. Can I talk to Jim, please?” She noted how exhausted she sounded, because she was.

“Why? Danger?” The little girl’s voice immediately changed. Hardened, preparing.

_“No, Janie,”_ Julianna heard Hopper consoling on the other end. _“Julianna is inviting us over for Thanksgiving with her and Sophie next weekend.”_

“Are you?!” El squeaked excitedly, making Julianna flinch. It wasn’t helping her headache.

“I am. Just making sure your dad is okay with it, yeah? Let me talk to him.”

There was a moment of arguing before El begrudgingly passed the phone to Hopper.

“Well, well, well. Color me impressed, Janzen.” His deep, booming voice was oddly comforting, soothing Julianna’s frayed nerves.

“I told you I’d remember. Now will you guys come, or not?”

“Yeah, I guess we will. Only if there’s stuffing though.”

Julianna laughed. “Naturally.”

“How about Friday? I’m stuck on shift Thursday but I’ll deliver you a Butterball sometime that day.”

“Hell yeah. Let’s do it,” Julianna agreed enthusiastically. The idea of having company over for the holidays warmed her, even if it wasn’t her mother.

There was a short pause. “You feeling okay?”

She winced slightly at the police chief’s concern. “Yeah. Listen, I’m really sorry about last night. I just, I don’t know, lost it for a second there.”

“Don’t sweat it, kid. Shit happens. Just… take care of yourself. Remember that you have people in your corner.”

Julianna smiled to herself. “Thanks, Hop. I appreciate that. I’m gonna go though, I need to pick up Sophie from Max’s.”

“Hey, uh, you hear anything from Max?” The chief sounded hesitant.

“Regarding…?” Julianna had a bad feeling about where the conversation was headed.

“I don’t know. A couple neighbours have called in noise complaints but nothing’s come of it.”

She paled. “Uh. N-no. Can’t say that I have.”

“What do you know about the Hargrove boy? Billy, right?”

_Christ._ “Not much, Hop. We just go to school together. We’re in the same Geography class.”

“He’s an angry kid.”

“I mean, yeah. I guess? He just moved cross-country away from his friends, his hobbies, his life. I’d be pissed off too.” That was the closest to the truth Julianna was willing to go.

“Yeah,” Hopper agreed, sounding unconvinced. “But if you hear anything else, let me know? I’ll keep it confidential, obviously.”

“Sure thing. I’ll talk to you later, tell Ellie-girl I said bye.”

“Bye, kid.”

_Well, shit._

\---

At ten on the dot, Julianna pulled up in front of the Hargrove house. She was immediately hit with a suffocating wave of anxiety, not unlike how she felt the previous night, but this time the feeling was directed outward, not inward.

She forced her legs to carry her to the front door and knocked gently, keeping her hands in fists at her side.

The door was opened a few moments later by Susan, who was looking more frazzled than usual. “Hi dear, step in. Sophie is just grabbing her things.” She stepped aside to let Julianna in.

Sophie came bounding down the hallway, through the living room towards her. Julianna was practically tackled into a hug, letting out a harsh grunt as Sophie squeezed before returning the embrace.

“Jesus, kid. You’d think we haven’t seen each other in months,” she smiled gently at her little sister, who scowled viciously before discreetly, but pointedly brushing her hand against Julianna’s.

The older girl was overwhelmed by a feeling of… urgency? Alarm? Fear? It was only a moment before Sophie pulled away to put her shoes on, sniffling aggressively.

“I know you said yesterday we could go out for breakfast but I already ate but I was wondering if we could still go get milkshakes from the diner and maybe Max could come with us? It’s the least we could do since I was allowed to stay here last night and - and… yeah.”

When Sophie finished rambling, she lifted her eyes to Julianna’s, widening them slightly to send a message. _Play along._

By then, Max had joined them in the hallway with her mother. Julianna noted Neil’s absence, thinking it strange since anytime she’d shown up thus far, he’d been hovering in the doorway with the rest of them.

“Sure, Soph. You’re right, good idea. But only if it’s okay with Mrs. Hargrove?” She met the red headed woman’s eyes, raised her eyebrows in question.

“Oh. Uh, I’m not sure…” Susan floundered, causing Julianna to narrow her eyes slightly, until a rough voice interrupted.

“Let her go, Susan.” It was a command, not a suggestion. Billy was standing at the mouth of the hallway, leaning against the wall to convey nonchalance. However, the set of his jaw was anything but. A sick, helpless feeling settled in Julianna’s gut when their eyes met.

“O-okay. Sure,” the woman managed finally.

Julianna took a deep breath through her nose, nostrils flaring. Without breaking eye contact with Billy, she said, “okay ladies, let’s go. But Sophie, you know today is chore day. We won’t be gone long, one hour maximum. Then we’ll bring Max home and you can clean the disaster zone that is your bedroom, yeah?”

Billy seemed to get what she was trying to say and gave a miniscule nod before turning on his heel and disappearing. The queasy feeling turned into full-blown nausea as Julianna watched him walk away.

“Yeah, I know, Julie.” Sophie was dramatizing her voice to sound annoyed, letting Julianna know she understood. She and Max dashed out the door first, with Julianna muttering a short goodbye to Susan before following.

\---

The front door was barely closed before Billy heard his father stomp out of the master bedroom and into his own, sending his door bouncing off the wall.

He knew this would happen. He got home over five hours past curfew; there were bound to be consequences. He was just glad Sophie was here to provide a buffer so that he could catch a couple more hours of sleep before facing the inevitable.

Without warning, Neil grabbed Billy by the shirt collar and walked him back into the wall, slamming him hard against it. He fought the urge to wince, forced himself to stand tall and take deep, even breaths. His stomach flipped at the smell of coffee breath, booze and sweat permeating his nostrils as his father got in his face.

“I thought we discussed this, William. I thought we agreed that you would be home by 12:30 on weekends, instead of out causing mischief and embarrassing me!” Neil’s voice began as a menacing whisper but escalated into a roar by the end.

“I- I’m sorry, dad, okay? I just lost track of time. I didn’t mean to, I swear I didn’t.” His voice was embarrassingly high, betraying his fear. Strange how he’d been doing this his whole life and it never stopped being utterly terrifying.

“I hope whatever pussy you were buried in last night was worth it, son. You embarrass me,” his father growled.

“It wasn’t p-” Billy was cut off by the backhand that met his face, causing his head to snap to the side with the force. He felt Neil’s army ring slice his cheek, hopefully not deep enough to scar.

“Did I say you could speak?!”

“No, sir. Sorry, sir.” _Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry._

“That’s what I thought,” Neil sneered. Continued to smirk in a nasty way that reminded Billy of himself. “You better be using protection, boy. And so help me god if I find you spending your time with that fucking low-life drug dealer.”

Billy stilled. _What?_ “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he managed through gritted teeth, vision blurring.

Neil cocked an eyebrow. Had a sixth sense for when his son was lying. “You don’t?” Seeing the honest confusion on Billy’s face caused him to cackle. “That’s rich, I’ll fill you in.” His father paused dramatically. “Word on the street is that the Janzen girl was caught selling marijuana to an undercover cop earlier this year and yet somehow she was let off the hook while the Hagan boy did community service. Those types never learn, William. They’re filth.” Neil snorted sarcastically. “Then again, maybe that means the two of you are meant for each other.”

_What the fuck?_ Despite how utterly perplexed he was by this new information, Billy felt the need to defend Julianna, if only for Max’s sake. He didn’t want Neil to forbid her from seeing Sophie.

“She’s a prissy bitch, dad. Perfect grades. Takes care of her sister when her mom isn’t home. I doubt she’s a drug dealer,” he forced out in a painful hiss, looking into his father’s eyes. “Tommy Hagan is full of shit. Do your research before you make accusations.”

The next hit was a punch directly to his eye socket, the ring splitting his eyebrow. Billy crumpled under the pain and Neil let him. It had been a long time since his father left visible marks.

“How dare you talk back to me?! How dare you disrespect me in my own house?! The roof I allow you to sleep under?!”

“Dad,” came the weak whimper. “I’m sorry.”

“You better be sorry, you worthless piece of shit.” Neil turned to go, leaving Billy in a heap on the floor. “From here on out, if you so much as put one toe out of line, William, you’ll be off to military school before you can even say ‘sir, yes, sir’. Understand me?”

“Yes, sir,” Billy whispered, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. What did you just say?”

“Yes, sir,” he repeated, slightly louder. Then his father retreated, slamming the door behind him.

Billy stayed there, bleeding, on the floor for a little while longer before wiping the blood and tears from his face with the backs of his hands.

He pulled himself from the hardwood, wobbling slightly. His eye was already swelling, the cut on his eyebrow still bleeding, dripping onto his white shirt and sweats. He peeled the shirt off, used it to mop the blood off the floor and then held it to his head.

With his other hand, he grabbed the package on his dresser, throwing it on Max’s bed on his way to the bathroom to shower.

\---

Max knew something was wrong well before Sophie unceremoniously yanked her out of her house. Knew before she watched Julianna anxiously tap her fingers and bounce her leg the entire time in the diner. That was the thing. She knew before but now Billy also knew that she knew. Which was why he so pointedly kicked her out that morning. Which was why she now felt such an immense guilt for ignoring it for so long.

Sure, Billy was a dick. He was aggressive, violent, and knew exactly what to say to hit below the belt, always. But that type of cruelty is a learned behaviour. It wasn’t _entirely_ his fault. She knew that now.

That said, Julianna made sure Max understood that Billy still owed her an apology. And that was what kept Max from running to Billy the moment she set foot in her house. Instead, she cautiously crept in, said a brief ‘hello’ to her mom and Neil who were watching TV in the living room and headed straight for her room, heart in her throat.

She gently closed the door behind her and sunk to the floor, trying to shake the feeling that something pivotal had happened in the past hour. Something that would tilt her world on its axis. What changed? What was different?

And then she saw it. The blue package sitting on her bed. Max slowly pulled herself up and approached the innocent plastic container sitting atop her quilt. _Oreos._ An apology.

She almost couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe that Billy remembered. Or even cared in the first place.

With trembling fingers, she reached back to her door, pulling it open. She was about to knock on Billy’s before she registered the sound of water running in the bathroom. Max let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Taking care to be extra quiet, she snuck into the kitchen to pull an ice pack from the fridge and an extra dishcloth from the drawer. Then she raced back to her room and pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil. She listened hard for the shower as she scribbled a short note.

_Thanks._

Max frowned to herself. She needed to say something more.

_P.S. Go see Julianna_

It was a gamble. She decided to take a page from Billy’s own playbook. She didn’t think, just acted.

Silently, she crept into Billy’s room, placed the ice pack wrapped in the dishcloth on his bed and taped the note to the mirror above his vanity. She was retreating just as the water shut off in the bathroom.

Adrenaline pumping, Max closed her door and smiled to herself. She felt light for the first time in a very long time.


End file.
